A Gift of Life
by Cheynne T
Summary: Sally Wainwright may have chosen to write-off the wonderful coupling of Kate and Caroline but I certainly haven't.
1. Chapter 1

**_Sally Wainwright, in conjunction with Sarah Lancashire and Nina Sosanya (no one could have predicted that incredible 'chemistry'), generously gave us something very beautiful in the form of the wonderful pairing of Kate and Caroline and their significance as a lesbian couple must not be underestimated because, as well as just their pure gorgeousness, they gave us visibility and recognition in a way that has never been done before. We have clung on tenaciously to Kate and Caroline through all their ups and downs, however, rightly or wrongly, Ms Wainwright has chosen to callously, cruelly and permanently rip this couple asunder leaving me, and many, many others I am sure, feeling bereft and betrayed. Harsh words I know but I can't help the way I am feeling at the moment. I am grieving for the loss of them but writing this story has helped me and I thought that perhaps reading it may help others in some small way. I know it won't bring Kate and Caroline back to us and I have no idea if it's going to work but one can only try. This story is not without issues but it is without the death of either of our lovely couple. I would have preferred episode 4 to go something along the lines of the following….._**

**_A Gift of Life_**

**_Chapter One_**

Kate had been awake since the early hours of the morning answering her baby's needy cries but, fortunately, after a feed, a nappy change and some patient mothering she had been able to gradually coax her daughter back to sleep. Now, still in her pyjamas, Kate sat cross-legged on the bed with the infant lying beside her, supported on both sides by cushions and her tiny hand clasped possessively around Kate's finger, still peaceful for the time being. Kate looked down at the tiny perfect body, totally enamored but with remnants of disbelief that they had both so miraculously survived their recent life-threatening trauma as victims of a callous hit-and-run accident. Over the ensuing weeks death had been so close at times, a welcome comfort even, as each had struggled with their agonies but each had then resolutely clung to life.

Sensing the absence of her wife next to her in their bed, Caroline had also awoken and was now showered and dressing for work. It was her first day back as Head Teacher of Sulgrave Heath Independent School since Kate's accident almost two months prior and she had to admit to harbouring mixed feelings about resuming her duties. On the one hand she was looking forward to returning to the job and back to what felt familiar; to the challenges she was certain she could meet, and to where she was confident that she had the control and power; to the routine and general predictability of a school day with its scheduled meetings and bells signalling when things were to begin and end, unlike the confusion that had reigned over her life for the past two months. On the other hand, she was reluctant to leave Kate on her own for an entire day. She had come devastatingly close to losing her so her instinct now was to protect and support the woman she loved as well as their child. The thought of not being able to do that while she was at work tempered her anticipation with concern and drew a worried frown to her face.

For the days following the accident and the emergency operations, firstly to deliver the baby and then to repair as best they could Kate's battered body, Caroline had watched on helplessly as her wife lay in an induced coma in order to reduce the shock to her system from all it had been through. For days none of the hospital staff had been willing to assure her that Kate would survive. The most they would commit to was that they were doing their best and there was nothing further Caroline, or any of them, could do at the moment but wait and see. Likewise, the baby had been taken to a ward where she was put in an incubator and cared for around the clock by a team of nurses specifically trained in the intricate job of caring for premature infants. There was little Caroline could do here either but peer teary-eyed through the glass window as the fragile figure, attached to life through tendrils of tubes, fought on so bravely. It had been this powerlessness, this dependence on others to make all well, a helplessness to control fate that Caroline had found most torturous.

Both in a serious condition, Kate's and the baby's time in hospital had been fraught with many anxious moments with Caroline having to make several emergency dashes to be at one or the other's bedside in case the unthinkable happened but, against all odds, both mother and daughter had battled their way back and eventually recovered sufficiently to be sent home. That had been three weeks ago and now Kate had convinced Caroline that she was strong enough to take care of herself and the baby on her own and that Caroline should consider going back to work.

Caroline had agonised over the decision for days, her fear of not being there if Kate needed her over-riding her yearning for the mental stimulation and challenges that her job gave her. However, Kate knew that now she was up to the demanding task of motherhood, her partner would soon become bored and steadily go bonkers staying at home all day every day and thus insisted that, for the sake of everyone's sanity, she return to work so here she was on a Monday morning putting the final touches to her make-up before heading off to Sulgrave Heath.

From the reflection in the mirror Caroline watched as Kate's eyes turned from the delight that was their daughter to look over at her. It seemed she had decided something.

"Flora," Kate declared with a sense of satisfaction.

Dubious. "Really?"

"Don't you like it?"

Non-committal. "It's…ah…up to you."

Disappointed by Caroline's lack of enthusiasm, Kate asked, "Isn't it up to both of us?'

She desperately wanted her partner to be more than a neutral bystander in the naming of their child.

"Yes, of course," Caroline agreed, "but you're the…you know…you've got more say in the matter."

"You've got to like it," Kate insisted.

"I don't dislike it."

"Flora Grace."

Unsure. "Okay."

"You don't sound thrilled."

"No, I am." Her words were affirming but her manner unconvincing particularly to Kate who was finely tuned to the nuances of Caroline's voice and body language.

Keen to have the matter settled and wanting Caroline's input, Kate asked, "Well, what would you call her?"

"I like that name…it's sweet," Caroline replied momentarily mustering a bit more enthusiasm. "Good," she added with a certain amount of finality when there was no immediate response. She hoped that the matter was now settled.

Even Caroline didn't fully understand why she was being quite so disinterested but she just couldn't seem to control it. For reasons that escaped her, she found a need to distance herself. She hadn't thought about names as she had been too distraught at first, then too tired, physically and emotionally spent, and finally, too numb to even contemplate names and then there was the other thing that niggled at the back of her brain. She knew it was foolish and, as things had turned out, it probably didn't matter so much, but it played on her mind nonetheless. When it was uncertain, unlikely even, that Kate would pull through from her operation, the tiny burr of a thought that had burrowed itself deep in Caroline's mind and lay dormant during the months of Kate's pregnancy worked its way to the surface. She could lay no legal claim to the baby whom they had considered to be _their_ daughter. Surely Greg, the biological father, or Kate's mum would have more of a claim on her than Caroline should something happen to Kate. Caroline wasn't sure she could invest so much emotional energy into a child only to face the possibility of having her ripped from her arms.

On those recent occasions when she had been forced to consider the possibility of losing Kate, it was as though her heart, battered and bleeding, had been bound in her chest with barbed wire. There was a constant gnawing in her stomach that made her want to retch endlessly. Nothing could ease that agonising ache that threatened to tear her apart. Caroline didn't think she could bear to go through that crippling sense of loss again so she could feel herself pulling away from the baby….she didn't want to but at the same time she was powerless to stop it.

"So you don't like it?" Kate would always know what she was thinking no matter her words.

"I do…like I say…it's growing on me…it suits her…well, it suits her now…but will it suit her when she's fourteen and has got …opinions?"

"I really like it," Kate persisted.

"Well then, that's what matters."

"I think you're just saying that."

"I wouldn't do that." Caroline tried to keep the sound of slight exasperation from creeping into her voice. "If I thought it was really abhorrent I would say so."

"As opposed to mildly abhorrent?"

Caroline didn't want to have an argument now. She needed to focus on getting to work.

"Kate, we're calling her Flora… Flora…Flora Grace." Then, before she could contain it, she added, "There's the margarine called Flora, of course."

"You've put me off it now."

"No, I haven't."

Sensing a touch of condescension, Kate replied, "Don't talk to me like that, that's how men talk." She then took the sting out of her words a little by continuing more gently, "So you like Grace?'

"I like Flora." Caroline wasn't sure that she did but she liked that Kate liked it and that was enough for her.

"You really don't. It's obvious."

With a dismissive shrug of her shoulders Caroline gave up. "She's your baby."

Once her make-up was done to her satisfaction, Caroline fetched her bag and slung its strap over her shoulder ready to leave. Kate unfolded her legs, rose from the bed and reached out, managing to catch Caroline in a loose embrace, her arms encircling Caroline's waist and pulling her in close. Melting brown eyes peered into Caroline's face as, with a serious edge to her voice, Kate whispered, "She's _our_ baby….yours and mine….we are, all three of us, equal parts of this equation."

Usually Kate's words would have smoothed the troubled waters but today Caroline was not so easily appeased. She wasn't sure if it was nerves or something else lurking in the recesses of her mind.

"But you're the….I'm noth…"

Realising the can of worms her words would open, Caroline bit her sentence off there. There wasn't time to go into this now as she didn't want to be late on her first day back but she was aware that she would have to deal with this feeling eventually. Instead, she leaned in and kissed her wife carefully on the lips not wanting to smear the lipstick she had just meticulously applied.

"I'd better go and see if Lawrence has bothered to get ready," she suggested as she cupped Kate's chin in her hand and lightly brushed her thumb across the bottom lip of her mouth, ostensibly to wipe away the faint smudge of colour that was left there but also to secure the feel and shape of its soft fullness in her memory. Since the accident Caroline had found herself doing this constantly, storing away mental photographs of everyday moments that suddenly seemed so precious…images of Kate stretched out languidly on the sofa reading, Kate smiling her broad, perfect smile as she nursed her baby or perhaps frowning as she stubbornly attempted what seemed like the impossible task of assembling the new cot, refusing to allow it to defeat her. These were all fleeting moments but Caroline wanted to keep them forever. At times she would test herself and see if she could draw upon particular images, afraid that one day they would be all she had. When faced with the very real prospect of losing Kate, it had frightened her how much of their time together she had taken for granted and glossed over without paying attention to detail. Along with the images, she also attempted to memorise the soothing sound of Kate's voice as she quietly sang to calm the baby or her bubbly laugh that Caroline found to be so infectious; the taste of her kisses and her sex; the scent of her skin fresh from the shower and after they had made love. It often frustrated Caroline that it was almost impossible to do to her satisfaction.

"Right, I'd better get going….I'll call you later….You will promise to ring me if you need me won't you? For anything."

"I'll… We'll be fine."

"Promise me," Caroline insisted. She wasn't going anywhere without that assurance.

"Sure," Kate answered with an amused smile, touched by Caroline's protectiveness.

Satisfied that her request would be followed, Caroline stepped to the side of the bed, leaned over and plied several soft kisses to their daughter's forehead.

"I'll see you later little….Flora Grace."

Caroline decided then and there that the name did indeed appeal to her.

After a quick glance at her watch, Caroline did a final check that she had everything that she needed and then made a dash for the stairs.

As Kate turned her attentions back to her daughter, she heard her wife's voice calling out to Lawrence and, soon after, the sound of the Jeep's tyres on the gravel as Caroline reversed it down the drive.

"What do_ you_ think of Flora Grace?" Kate asked the sleeping infant as she tested out the sound of the name once again. "I think you love it, don't you? What will we do today now that we've been left to our own devices?"

oooOooo

"What's wrong?" Caroline asked her son as she steered the Jeep along the familiar route to Sulgrave Heath.

They had been on the road for over ten minutes and Lawrence, who was normally nattering away by now, hadn't uttered a single word. When Caroline glimpsed over to gauge if there was a problem she noted the petulance on her son's face, a sure sign, she had learned, that trouble was fermenting just below the surface.

"Nothing," he replied fobbing off his mother's concern.

How could he explain to her without hurting her feelings that the last two months at school had probably been the best of his school life? He hadn't had to wear the taunts of the other students about his mother being the Head Teacher and more recently, a lesbian, for nearly two glorious months. He had been just a regular student. It appeared that it was very much a case of 'out of sight, out of mind' as the teasing had virtually disappeared over the course of her absence. He was convinced that with her return it would all fester up again and he wasn't sure he could continue to take it on the chin.

"Something's up," Caroline persisted, "you haven't said a word since we left home and I can all but see the storm cloud brewing."

"I want to go live with my dad."

Maybe if he distanced himself from her, his problems would fade. Lately, he'd constantly felt like that inconvenient third wheel, an afterthought. Everything seemed to focus on Kate and the baby and he was invisible.

Stunned by Lawrence's announcement but taking care not to lose concentration on her driving, it was Caroline's turn to go silent for a moment.

"Why?" she finally asked, trying to remain composed.

"Well, you've got Kate and the baby and dad's got…he's got no one."

Although touched by what she sensed was Lawrence's genuine concern for his father, Caroline had no confidence in John's parenting capabilities. She also understood her son well enough to know that he would take full advantage of his father's lackadaisical approach to discipline and school.

"Lawrence, I want us to be a family….you, me, Will, Kate and the baby….by the way, we're naming her Flora…Flora Grace….Just because Kate and the baby are there it doesn't mean I love you any less….I don't ….Because of the accident I've had to ….you know…take care of things….but Kate is well now and things will soon settle."

Lawrence shrugged his shoulders.

"I want to live with my dad," he repeated sullenly.

Caroline slowed down and indicated as she approached the entrance to the school. As she turned in she noticed that the signage at the front of the grounds still read "Dr Caroline Elliot". She made a mental note to have that changed to "Dr Caroline McKenzie-Dawson" as a priority.

"What does your dad think?" Caroline asked with as much calm and restraint as she could muster while she pulled into her specified parking spot.

"He'll be cool with it," was Lawrence's reply, his excitement growing as he dared to think that his mother may possibly be considering the idea.

"So you haven't mentioned it to him yet?"

"He'll be fine."

Caroline removed her car keys from the ignition and reached over for her handbag from the floor at Lawrence's feet.

"We'll talk about it tonight….Have a good day….Behave."

Excited at the prospect of perhaps going to live with his father, Lawrence took off at a run to where he could see Angus waiting for him at the top of the steps. Quelling her nerves, Caroline proceeded to enter the building at a slower, more dignified pace and make her way along the hallway and up the staircase to her office, noting with private amusement how the easily recognisable and assertive echo of her heels on the polished floor caused the turn of surprised heads at her unexpected arrival. It wouldn't take long for word of her return to spread throughout the school and for behaviours to adjust accordingly. In her absence, Mr Harrison had filled in as best he could but Dr McKenzie-Dawson's mere presence would always lift the bar that extra notch.

As Caroline was about to enter her office she heard the familiar sound of her admin assistant's voice calling out to her.

"Caroline! It's good to see you. How's Kate? And the baby? "

"Morning Beverley. They're good…fine…yes."

"Can I get you some tea? I think Alison has just made a fresh pot."

"Oh, has she? Oh good...ah…yes, thank you."

"I'll get that sorted and then I'll run through the day's schedule with you."

"Yes….good."

Caroline continued on into her office where she discarded her coat and hung it on the stand, along with her bag. She removed her phone from her coat pocket and made her way to her desk where she found a rather disorderly pile of files and notes that had been left by Mr Harrison. It was beyond Caroline's comprehension as to how people could function properly and do their job efficiently surrounded by such a mess and instinctively she began to create some order from the chaos, quickly sorting through and prioritising each task.

It was as she reached the bottom of the pile of papers that her mind drifted back to thoughts of Kate. She located her phone and toyed with the idea of calling her, wanting to hear the reassuring sound of her voice. As she flicked through the contact screen for Kate's number she looked at her watch and saw that it was barely 9 o'clock. She'd been away less than an hour. Kate would think she was paranoid if she called so soon. She put the phone down again. Her eyes wandered towards the door to her office to see if Beverly was coming with the tea and again her memories took her back.

After witnessing how truly happy her mother was after rekindling a lost love and then having to deal with the possibility that it could all be snatched away in an instant, Caroline had done some deep soul-searching and admitted to herself that the one person who could bring her the same kind of happiness was a woman…Kate McKenzie…. and there wasn't time to waste with denials. The sense of relief that came with this realisation was exhilarating and it had been here in her office that she had taken the initiative and shown the Modern Languages teacher just how much she desired her. Caroline recalled with almost illicit pleasure how she had clasped Kate's apprehensive face in her hands then kissed her wantonly as she used her own body to press Kate up against the door before audaciously slipping her hand inside the woman's bra. Caroline couldn't help but smile as she recalled the feel of that breast, fantastically heavy, fantastically hard at the tip.

A sharp rap on the door jolted Caroline back from her daydreaming.

"Tea," Beverley announced as she placed the steaming mug on Caroline's desk.

"Ah….Thank you."

Beverley then consulted her notebook.

"Mr Harrison has requested a meeting with you at 9:30am to catch you up to speed on everything so I've allowed an hour for that…..you should be over it by then…. and then at 10:45am you're seeing Cressida Wade's parents….here's her file."

Beverley placed a disappointingly thick manila folder in front of Caroline.

"Right."

"At break," Beverly continued, "there's the HOD meeting and then first thing after lunch you're teaching….9F…Maths."

"Good God…am I?"

Beverly checked her notepad to make sure she hadn't forgotten to mention anything and then said, "That's everything I think so I'll leave you to it, shall I?" She turned to leave but, at the last minute, she gave Caroline a genuine smile and added, "It's good to have you back."

Caroline answered with a smile of her own. "Thank you…Oh and Beverley there's just one more thing….Would you arrange to have the sign at the entrance to the school amended to 'Dr Caroline McKenzie-Dawson' ASAP?"

"Sure."

As Beverley departed, Caroline picked up her phone and once again contemplated ringing Kate. It really was too soon to call but Caroline decided that a text message would be an acceptable alternative. She had a couple of minutes before Mr Harrison landed in her office so what better way to spend that time.

Her fingers rapidly jived over the screen. She re-read her message….. "I love you with all my heart"…..and then pressed 'send'.

It was as Mr Harrison gave a cursory knock on the door and then entered that Caroline's phone buzzed, alerting her to an awaiting message. She fleetingly considered ignoring it, not wanting to appear impolite in front of her colleague, but instantly changed her mind. It was a reply from Kate and when she opened it there was a fresh image of Kate and Flora obviously out in the garden, each beautiful face beaming at her and with the message below… "And we love you". Instantly Caroline felt her heart inflate like a balloon and she couldn't contain the smile that spread across her face.

Mr Harrison mistakenly thought the smile was meant for him and replied with his own toothy grin. Caroline didn't bother to explain or inform him differently.

"Welcome back, Dr…"

Caroline helped him out. "McKenzie-Dawson."

"Right….It's good to have you back although I think you'll find things have run quite smoothly while you've been away."

The man was fishing for a compliment. He'd have to try harder than that.

"Thank you, James. Why don't you have a seat?"

Caroline ushered the tall, gangling figure over to one of the chairs at her meeting table and then took the seat at the head.

oooOooo

The first thing Kate had decided she would do that morning was to take advantage of her daughter being asleep to shower and prepare for the day ahead.

As she stood in the shower allowing the hot water to stream over her body, its heat soothing the dull ache that still persisted within her muscles, she ran a dark finger along the fresh scar on her belly, the site of the incision the doctors had made in order to rescue her daughter from her damaged, failing body. It hadn't been the birth she had been preparing for and she struggled with the fact that she hadn't been conscious as her daughter was brought into the world but she consoled herself with the fact that, despite the odds being heavily stacked against them, they had both managed to survive and she now had the two things she had desperately wanted for so long, a thriving baby girl and Caroline.

The beginnings of a cry jarred her from her thoughts. Kate turned off the water and quickly towelled herself dry then returned to the bedroom to look in on her daughter who was now wide awake and winding up to a full blown howl. Kate gently picked her up and held her next to her bare flesh as she rocked her in her arms and kissed each soft cheek, soothing her with words of comfort. At moments like this when her baby cried so pitifully Kate wondered if the harrowing way in which she had been brought into the world had affected her. Was she remembering? Was she in pain? When Kate had voiced her concerns to Caroline, her partner had assured her that their daughter would have no recollection of what had happened and it was perfectly normal for a baby to cry like that but Kate couldn't completely assuage her feelings of guilt. Parents were supposed to protect their children from such harm. She knew it was a ridiculous notion. She had taken all the care she possibly could and the cause of the accident lay entirely in the hands of the delinquents who had stolen a car and were mindlessly joy riding but she couldn't quite wash away the thought of how different things might have been if she had left the shop as soon as she had purchased the milk rather than stopping to chat to the store owner for a minute or two or if she hadn't put off going back inside to buy the newspaper she had forgotten.

As the baby's cries subsided, Kate placed her back on the bed just long enough to get dressed. She then took her into the newly-painted nursery where she bathed her and gave her a fresh nappy and clothes before carrying her down to the kitchen where she could prepare a bottle for her as well as her own breakfast.

Just as Kate made her way down the stairs the phone in her pocket rang and gave a buzz. There was a message from Caroline. When she opened it the words on the screen brought a broad smile to her face. Knowing how much her wife loved her never failed to leave her feeling quite 'something else'…exhilarated. She often thought that it would be almost possible for her to live and breathe from that love alone and she knew for certain that she couldn't live without it.

Kate diverted from her path to the kitchen and headed into the backyard just long enough to take a photo of herself nursing Flora in their favourite spot, the garden seat, which she then sent to Caroline with an equally affectionate message.

Back inside, Kate nestled Flora securely in the swing seat they had bought for her and placed it where the baby could see her or at least sense her presence but, more importantly, Kate could keep a watchful eye on the infant. With her baby distracted by the colourful shapes and baubles that hung in front of her and content with the world for the moment, Kate went about preparing the formula for the bottle until she was disrupted with a start by the sudden sound of a voice echoing from the hallway.

"Morning, love."

Recognising Celia's voice, Kate replied, "Oh… Morning, Celia," as she continued with what she was doing.

"I hope you don't mind me popping in like this….I just thought I'd pay a visit and see how you were getting along…well, actually, between you, me and the gate post, Caroline made me promise last night that I'd keep an eye on you…you know…make sure you were coping…she was worried about you …what, with her going back to work and all…so this is me keeping my word…then I'll be out of your hair."

Although it had appeared that Caroline's relationship with her mother had disintegrated beyond repair when Celia had obstinately refused to attend their wedding, all hostilities had been instantly forgotten with the accident. It had been Celia who had immediately rushed to her daughter's side to provide the love and support Caroline so desperately needed during that dire time when Kate's condition hung tentatively in the balance. With her nerves stretched to their limit and her emotions rubbed raw, Caroline had relied heavily on her mother to help her make it through from one dreadful day to the next. It would have taken too much energy...energy she didn't have to spare...to do otherwise.

"Can I get you a cup of tea?" Kate asked amicably. It hadn't come as a total surprise that Caroline had sent her mother in to do reconnaissance.

"That would be lovely…thanks," Celia replied as she sat herself one of the kitchen stools. "Where's the baby….my grand-daughter."

Kate's heart skipped a beat. It was the first time she'd heard Celia refer to the baby as her grand-daughter. She couldn't wait to tell Caroline.

"I'm about to fetch her and give her a bottle," Kate replied.

"You go and feed her and I'll make the tea," Celia offered as she slid off the stool and made for the electric jug.

Celia had decided that she quite liked Kate and figured that if Caroline had to be like _that _she could have done a lot worse.

Kate gave Celia a grateful smile and an unexpected peck on the cheek as she took the bottle and headed for the living room, fetching Flora on the way.

It wasn't long after Kate had settled comfortably on the sofa and had begun feeding her daughter that Celia joined them in the living room, a mug of tea in each hand. She put one of the mugs on the coffee table in front of Kate and then settled herself into the nearby armchair to sip her own brew.

"We've decided on a name for her….well, at least I think we have…I like it and Caroline says she likes it but I'm not so sure she does," Kate began.

"Have you? What have you decided to call her?"

"Flora…Flora Grace," Kate announced happily but a little hesitantly as she waited to hear Celia's opinion which would no doubt be forthcoming.

"Why that's beautiful…Flora Grace…it suits her…Never mind Caroline…she'll tell you if she doesn't like it."

Kate gave Celia a look of relief before asking, "Where's Alan?"

"He's back in the flat speaking to Gary on the phone," Celia answered with a dramatic roll of her eyes, "He's trying to talk his way out of going to another tedious football match….I've as much as said that if he can't get out of it he'll be going on his own…I'll not be going."

"I'm not much of a football fan either," Kate confided.

"To be honest with you, I'd rather visit the dentist than attend another one of those dreary matches…what a waste of a day."

Kate sensed that Celia was getting worked up and decided a change of subject was needed.

"How are the plans for your holiday coming along? Where exactly are you going?"

"We've booked the plane tickets ….we're going to New Zealand first to see Alan's brother, Ted, and all his family and then we're on to Australia…I have a friend in Toowoomba, just left of Brisbane."

"Wow… sounds exciting," Kate exclaimed and then added their bit of news, "Caroline and I thought we might go to New York at Christmas time to visit my mum but we haven't made any firm plans yet."

"That will be nice, love," Celia replied as she stood and collected the empty mugs and headed for the kitchen, "although travelling with babies is always a bit of a chore."

Celia rinsed the mugs and left them to drain.

"I'll be off now but don't hesitate to call out if you need anything…we'll be in most of the day," Celia offered as she stood by Kate's side and gently stroked the baby's fine, dark hair. "Bye then, little Flora Grace."

With her hunger sated and the wind removed, Flora had drifted off to sleep. Being careful not to disturb her, Kate placed the tiny figure back in the swing seat with the intention of making herself something to eat but no sooner had she started towards the kitchen when there was a sharp, impatient knock at the door.

Kate's mood shifted as she opened it and recognised the form standing there.

"John," she said frostily.

"Oh, hello….I've come to see…is my wi…is Caroline in?"

Kate instantly felt the hackles on the back of her neck rise in annoyance.

"No…_my_ wife is out at the moment," she retorted, infuriated by his stubborn refusal to accept that he and Caroline had been divorced for quite a while and Caroline was now happily married to her.

"Oh, I see….Can I come in?" he persisted as he stepped forward fully expecting to be allowed to enter, however, Kate held her ground.

"There's no point. Caroline won't be home until much later this afternoon and it's not convenient right at the moment," she replied as she steadfastly blocked the doorway.

She'd had just about as much as she could stand of this complete tosser insinuating himself into their lives.

"John, you need to stop turning up here without calling first. It's not polite. "

"But this is my hou…."

"No, we bought you out. Remember?"

"Yes, I know but….."

"But what, John?" Kate set her jaw and glared at him with eyes as hard as flint.

"Will you tell Caroline I called?" he replied dejectedly but Kate was not falling for his hangdog look.

"What? And spoil her day? I don't think so, John."

Realising that he had quite possibly worn out his welcome, John thrust his hands into his pockets, turned on his heels and walked sulkily towards his car. Kate closed the door on the retreating figure and exhaled a puff of air from her cheeks in exasperation. The man was a complete jerk but for once she hadn't been daft enough to feel sorry for him.

oooOooo

Caroline had been consumed by the business of her day and was surprised when Lawrence turned up in her office to wait for her to drive them home.

"Mum, it's after four o'clock," he complained, "Time to go."

"Yes, alright," Caroline answered, "I'll finish this and then we'll go…I'll be ten minutes….Why don't you take the keys and wait in the car?"

Seeing that as a better option than hanging around in his mother's office, Lawrence located the keys in Caroline's bag and took off with a final, "Don't be long."

Caroline flicked through the last few pages of the report she had been reading, signed half a dozen forms, did one more check of her emails and then shut down her computer for the day. Within the promised ten minutes she had her coat and bag and was ready to leave. Noticing the time, she was suddenly anxious to be home with Kate and the baby.

As she approached her car she handed her bag to Lawrence to put at his feet and then walked around to the driver's side. Before she could get in, her eye was caught by some marks on the car door. Someone had etched the word 'dyke' into the first layer of paint. Determined not to allow anyone the satisfaction of seeing her angry and not wanting to upset her son, Caroline kept her displeasure tightly under control as she got into her car and drove off.

The trip to and from Sulgrave Heath was a relatively short one, twenty minutes tops, but it seemed to Caroline that although the wheels of her jeep were spinning they weren't getting any closer, or at least, not quickly enough for her liking. From out of the blue a sense of panic struck as she felt her heart begin to pound in her chest and her breathing become shallow and erratic. Was Kate alright? Irrationally, all the things that could possibly go wrong, all the accidents that could possibly happen began to race through her mind. She had a white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel and had to fight the urge to press the accelerator closer to the floor. What if Kate or the baby weren't there? If only she was home to see that they were unharmed.

It was only when she finally pulled into the driveway of 46 Conway Drive that Caroline was able to draw a deep, calming breath. She quickly gathered her things and made for the door, sorting through her keys with anxious fingers as she did so but she was halted in her tracks by Lawrence who called out to her.

"Mum, have you seen this?"

She turned to see Lawrence's mortified expression as he pointed out the word scrawled on the car door.

"Ah…yes…I did notice it but don't worry, it's easily fixed," Caroline replied dismissively as she didn't want a fuss. "And don't worry…I will find out who did it."

She had been through so much recently, her world had been rocked to its core, so that a few scratches on her car, in the real scheme of things, was insignificant although, as she had promised Lawrence, she would eventually find the culprits responsible for it and give them a thorough lesson on why homophobia is totally unacceptable and if they thought they were going to use her sexuality as a stick to beat her or her family with in the misguided belief that she'd take it lying down then they were seriously mistaken. For now, however, she had more important things on her mind.

Lawrence watched disbelievingly as his mother disregarded the slur and continued towards the house apparently unconcerned.

Just as Caroline was about to put her key in the lock, the door opened. Kate stood in the doorway, a picture of health, greeting her with a warm smile. Caroline hadn't realised it but she had been holding her breath. The sight of Kate safe and sound was a signal for her to breathe again as relief raced through her veins like a shot of adrenaline.

Suddenly a weak "Hi" was all she could manage as she choked back the lump forming in her throat. Unexpected tears welled up and threatened to spill catching her completely off guard as she struggled to hold them at bay, unable to fully explain their presence. She'd only been gone for a few hours. She was being ridiculous or so she felt.

To hide her embarrassment and to buy some time to regain her composure, Caroline walked into the hallway where she tossed her keys into the bowl on the small antique table and then took her time to remove her coat and hang it on its hook. As she did so Kate moved in behind her and settled her arms around Caroline's waist, pressing her lips against the nape of her partner's neck in a flurry of light kisses. The flutter of her warm breath causing goose bumps to rise on Caroline's skin as she whispered, "I missed you today."

In one smooth movement Caroline turned to face her wife, slipping her arms around her neck and tugging her gently forward so as to feel the reassuring press of their bodies together. Their eyes met briefly before Caroline hungrily claimed Kate's full, inviting mouth with her own in several, short eager kisses, plying them feverishly until her qualms were eased and until both women sank into longer, more languid kisses. Caroline placed a hand on Kate's chest and could feel the now strong beat of her heart; she listened for the soft moans of pleasure that escaped her partner's lips and delighted in the touch of those dexterous fingers which began to caress her hair.

Since the accident Caroline's subconscious had plagued her with the fear that she had gone insane with grief and that Kate wasn't really there but merely a taunting apparition, a ghost, and if she were to leave her for any length of time Kate would no longer appear to her when she returned. She knew it was crazy and made no sense but still, the sight of Kate waiting for her, alive and well, all flesh and blood, a beating heart and a smiling face, flooded her soul with immeasurable relief. Her Kate was real and there with her.

oooOooo

"And all that I am

And all that I'll be

It's nothing at all

If you can't be with me."

oooOooo

**_A/N: Kate and Caroline FOREVER…even if forever is a very long time….in theory._**


	2. Chapter 2

**_A Gift of Life_**

**_Chapter 2_**

A famished Lawrence pushed his way past his mother and Kate as they were embracing in the hallway, his hunger such that his manners were totally forgotten and there was not so much as an 'excuse me' as he headed directly to the kitchen to sate his appetite.

As they stepped out of his way, Caroline loosened her hold on Kate and asked, "Where's Flora?"

Kate grinned broadly. "So we are going with that name? Flora Grace?"

"I think we ought to, don't you?"

"You do like it then?" Kate double-checked, not wanting Caroline to settle for a name that she wasn't fond of and may regret agreeing to further down the track.

Caroline answered Kate's doubts not with words but with another sweet kiss and an intimate, playful nuzzle. The last of her panic had been washed from her mind and was replaced with a happiness that emanated from being with the woman she loved and finally having the courage and freedom to love her openly….it was a happiness that she had seldom felt until Kate came into her life.

"I can't imagine calling her anything else now, can you?….. Where is she?"

"She's with your mother and Alan around in the flat," Kate explained, "Celia offered to take her for a while so I could have an afternoon nap."

A day on her own with her daughter had turned out to be more tiring than she expected and Kate conceded to herself that perhaps she wasn't quite as strong as she had hoped. She was always aware that it would take time for her body to fully recover from the trauma it had been through but, nonetheless, she was disappointed that by early afternoon her energy level was low and she was weary. It was then that she developed a much fuller appreciation of everything Caroline had done for her during her recuperation. Eventually her endurance would improve. She knew that she just needed to be patient.

"Oh! You'll never guess what happened," Kate continued on a little more excitedly as they both made their way, hand in hand, towards the kitchen.

"What?" Caroline asked, amused by Kate's animated enthusiasm.

"Celia came in this morning and asked to see her _'grand-daughter'_….. She actually used those words '_my grand-daughter_'."

"Really?" Caroline replied with obvious surprise.

While the horror of the accident had forced Caroline and Celia to mend their differences over Celia's refusal to attend the wedding and their relationship was now, more or less, back on an even keel, Caroline had not assumed that her mother had completely overcome her misconceptions towards her sexuality, the fact that she had married another woman and that they had a baby with two mothers but no father. However, she had also come to the conclusion that being as stubborn as Celia would not progress her cause and had since decided to use a different tact to solve the problem, if indeed it could be solved.

Caroline would forever rue the fact that she had spent much of her wedding day being angry with her mother rather than celebrating fully this one very special occasion in her life. Nothing could change that now, it was done, but the near loss of her wife so soon afterwards pushed this regret home with cyclonic force. Celia would not, Caroline realised, overcome a lifetime of prejudices instantly just because she wanted her to. Instead, Caroline, too, chose to play the game of patience, hoping that over time her mother would see for herself how happy Kate made her and that their life together was not really out of the ordinary or anything too bizarre. With today's revelation, Caroline dared to believe that maybe her approach was working as Celia's apparent acceptance of Flora as her grandchild for the first time was certainly a significant step forward.

"Why don't you go around and fetch her while I see to dinner?" Kate suggested.

"Oh, you're definitely a keeper… I've always wanted a wife who would have dinner on the table for me after a hard day at the office," Caroline teased, baiting the hook on which she got an almost instant tug.

"Hmmm….Don't get too carried away with the idea," Kate warned with a mock frown, "it will be your turn to spoil me on the weekend."

"With pleasure," Caroline whispered as she approached her wife and gave her another languid kiss which she eventually broke in order to go and track down her daughter.

"Tell Celia and Alan that dinner will be ready in about an hour," Kate called after her.

Caroline stopped mid-stride to turn and raise a questioning eyebrow.

"Celia popped in this afternoon….and twice this morning…to see how I was….."

Caroline could feel a guilty flush begin to colour her neck and cheeks.

"So I invited them for dinner…I hope you don't mind….."

"Of course not…that's fine," Caroline replied with a dismissive wave of her hand as she then continued on her way.

As Caroline was about to stop and knock on the glass of the large window to what had once been her mother's retreat at the rear of the house and was now where Celia and Alan regularly stayed as they flitted back and forth between Halifax and Harrogate, she caught sight of her mother cradling baby Flora. Caroline held back from drawing her mother's attention for a moment as she took in the rather amazing sight of Celia, all 'goos and gahs', clucking affectionately over the child she held protectively in her arms. An unmistakeable expression of maternal joy softened her mother's usually stern features. Caroline recognised it as the same expression she had often seen when Celia had nursed a young William or Lawrence. It was a look that was etched firmly in her mind because it had contrasted so starkly to the constant frown of discontent she wore whilst enduring being locked in a loveless marriage to her philandering husband, Kenneth.

A sense of elation and hope swelled in Caroline's chest. If her mother could accept Flora as her grandchild then Caroline was more optimistic that she would also come around to fully accepting her partnership with Kate which would make her own happiness complete. Caroline realised that she was probably getting way ahead of herself and began to rein in her expectations. Small steps, she reminded herself, small steps.

Finally Caroline gave a light tap on the window to alert Celia to her presence and then made her way around to the door which Alan opened for her.

He greeted her with his usual congenial smile and an "Oh, hello, love."

"Hello, Alan," Caroline replied returning his smile as she then walked over to her mother and pecked her on the cheek. "Hi, Mum. How has she been?"

Caroline ran a loving hand gently over the baby's head of silky, dark hair.

She's wonderful, love," Celia answered almost in a whisper, "I've not long given her a bottle so she'll be getting ready for a sleep….. It's funny isn't it….babies?"

"What do you mean?"

"They're always welcome when they come," Celia explained as she peered into the tiny, perfect face, "even when they're unexpected ….I never in my wildest dreams thought you'd be a mum again."

"Mmmm…."was all Caroline responded with.

To be honest, nobody was more surprised that she was a mum again at this stage in her life than Caroline herself. It had never occurred to her to consider that she would be doing this all over again at 47 until Kate had confessed to her a deep desire to have a baby and to raise it with her. Although Caroline hadn't expressly want a baby she couldn't honestly say she didn't _not _want one….when all was said and done, she had wanted what Kate wanted and despite the likelihood that it wouldn't happen and the unhappiness that would have possibly ensued, she wouldn't have stopped her…it was Kate's life, Kate's body…who was she to say 'no'.

"How was your first day back at work?" Celia inquired.

Caroline smiled but added a slightly dramatic eye-roll.

"By lunch time it felt like I'd never been away. Nothing much has changed, although I have to say that James Harrison isn't the most organised person I know….I spent a considerable portion of my day sorting through his scrawled notes and trying to decipher his proliferation of messages as well as locate missing files and put my office back in order."

"Men!" Celia replied with a disgruntled groan, "They're always needing a woman to be cleaning up after them."

"Oi!" Alan spluttered from his seat where he had been listening quietly up until now.

"Oh, not you, love," Celia quickly backtracked, "never you."

Caroline and Alan shared a secret grin as Celia once again made one of her sweeping generalisations.

To avoid anymore possible conflict, Caroline changed the subject.

"Thanks for looking in on Kate for me and taking care of your grand-daughter….."

Caroline thought she'd throw that word in and see if it floated. There was no attempt at rebuttal from Celia.

"By the way, we've chosen a name," Caroline added.

"Yes, I know…Flora Grace…Kate told me this morning….I'm quite fond of it but she said she wasn't sure you liked it."

"I wasn't sure either at first…it's that whole 'margarine' thing….but I've decided I do like it. I think it suits her."

"Kate knows, by the way."

"Knows what?'

"That you asked me to keep an eye on her."

"Oh, mum, I told you not to say anything."

"She's a smart girl….she would have worked it out, what, with me popping in and out like a cuckoo in a clock…so I decided it was best to come clean."

Once she had recovered from the surprise compliment her mother had just given Kate, Caroline asked, "Did she say anything…?"

"She was fine, love…..and I really don't think I was telling her anything she hadn't already guessed."

As she carefully handed the baby back to Caroline, Celia suddenly wrinkled up her nose.

"I think our little Flora needs a nappy change," Celia suggested.

"Right….She's due for a bath anyway," Caroline replied as she headed for the door. "By the way, Kate said to tell you that dinner should be ready in an hour….45 minutes probably now," she added.

"We'll be around shortly….thank you, tell her," Celia replied as she closed the door after her.

Caroline made her way with baby Flora back into the main house. As she entered the hallway the enticing aroma of Kate's cooking greeted her and drew her into the kitchen.

"I'm going to get changed and then I'll bath Flora….Will you be alright?" Caroline asked her wife, concerned that Kate may overdo it.

"I'm fine now, really I am," Kate replied confidently as she flashed Caroline a reassuring smile. "By the time you bath Flora dinner should almost be ready…there's not much left to do."

Up in the bedroom Caroline gently lay her daughter on the bed and bunkered her in with some strategically-placed pillows for safety while she quickly changed out of her work clothes and into a pair of jeans, her favourite, well-worn sweater and some comfortable, flat shoes. She then carried Flora into the nursery, a room that Kate had redecorated paying meticulous attention to detail, and prepared to bathe her.

As Caroline eased her into the warm water the tiny face screwed up in displeasure and tears rapidly filled her eyes as she opened up her lungs to complain.

In a calm, hushed voice Caroline reassured her that it would be over soon and everything would be alright. The soothing sound of her mother's words and the gentle stroking of the warm, soapy wash cloth over her small, perfect body seemed to pacify her and the cries soon ceased before they even really got started.

"I know your other mum thinks that I didn't want you…and maybe she was right at the beginning," Caroline revealed in a low voice to her small but seemingly attentive audience of one, "but I need you to know that I do love you…I love you more every day…I can't imagine my life without you now and that's why lately I've been a bit….standoffish….As it is at the moment, if something were to happen to Kate…your other mum…you could be taken from me and I think that would literally kill me."

Flora kicked her feet frantically and splashed the water with her chubby, dark fists in protest.

"But I have a plan," Caroline continued, "first thing in the morning we are going down to the register office and have my name put on your birth certificate."

Almost as though she understood, Flora splashed the water once again, this time in approval or so it seemed.

oooOooo

Kate had placed the roast beef next to Alan and he was busily carving it up into slices and putting it on plates while everyone else helped themselves to the array of baked vegetables.

Kate and Caroline sat beside each other on one side of the table; Celia and Lawrence were opposite and Alan was positioned at the head of the table. Flora was in her swing seat beside Caroline's foot so that every now and again she could give the swing a nudge to keep up its steady, pacifying motion.

Conversation flowed freely throughout the meal as, between mouthfuls of food, they discussed everything from baby Flora and Caroline's first day back at Sulgrave Heath to Alan and Celia's experience of having to suffer through what seemed like an interminable game of football at the Harrogate Football Club the previous weekend at Gary's insistence as well as dodging any future invitations.

While they chatted, Kate sought out the solace of her partner as she often did when Caroline was in close proximity, with the entwining of their fingers, the occasional quick caress of a cheek and one or two delicate kisses to the back of Caroline's hand. Caroline recalled in her mind how these open displays of affection, particularly when her mother was present, had in the past, made her very uncomfortable. Often she would squirm with embarrassment, pull away or give Kate a discouraging glare. She knew she oughtn't to feel that way but she couldn't help it. She had spoken to Kate about it once and suggested that they keep these intimate touches for more private times and, to placate her, Kate had agreed but she had also asked, "Are you ashamed of me…us…how we feel?" Truthfully, Caroline had had to answer 'no' for, despite her lack of bravery at the time, she wasn't ashamed or embarrassed by the fact that she loved Kate…truly loved her….deep in her heart and soul loved her… and she knew that she had every right to love her openly and honestly, she just needed to find the courage to do so. After all, it had been Kate who had eventually provided her with the strength to be who she was born to be.

Caroline had spent many agonising hours following the accident, as Kate lay unconscious in the hospital, kept alive by machines and her fate uncertain, contemplating the possibility of never having the opportunity to feel those touches again. The idea left her distraught, unable to bear the thought, so that now she welcomed and cherished each and every caress and moment of physical contact with her wife. As far as Caroline was concerned, if her mother couldn't handle these displays of their affection then she was free to leave.

Despite any possible external battles to be faced in her future, Caroline was convinced that her internal conflict had been resolved. She was where she belonged and she wasn't about to surrender any ground to anyone, not even her mother. She was a lesbian, she liked sleeping with women, always had.

As they sat at the table eating and chatting, Caroline kept an eye out for signs of her mother's disapproval….a displeased frown, a sharp glare or one of her disparaging 'hurrumphs'….but to Caroline's surprise her mother barely seemed to notice let alone be upset by it at all.

What Celia did notice and was concerned about was how unusually withdrawn Lawrence had been throughout the meal.

"Are you alright, love?" she asked placing her hand over his, "You're awfully quiet."

Lawrence's gaze slid towards his mother as he caught her eye.

"I'm okay thanks, gran," he replied unconvincingly as he pushed back his chair to stand. "May I be excused? I have homework to do."

"Now I'm certain there's something wrong….Homework? Lawrence?" Celia stated doubtfully but Lawrence had disappeared up towards his room before he had to face any more questions.

Before Celia could pursue the topic of Lawrence any further, they were distracted by the simultaneous buzz and ringing of a mobile phone.

"I think that's you," Celia prompted an oblivious Alan.

Alan quickly reached into his pocket and retrieved his phone. He looked at the screen to see who was calling and then pressed 'ignore'.

"Gary?" Celia guessed as she noted the exasperated expression on her husband's face.

Alan scowled and nodded as he returned the phone to his coat pocket.

Confused by their reaction, Caroline asked, "What's wrong with Gary?"

"Nothing really," Celia answered, "it's just that he seems to be very needy. He's forever calling us and at all times of the day and night and for no real reason."

Not wanting to upset Alan or continue on the topic of 'Gary', Celia rose and started collecting up the used plates and carrying them into the kitchen. Caroline joined her while Alan's offer to help was turned down and he was given strict instructions to take his cup of tea into the living room and relax.

Kate lifted their daughter from her swing seat and gave her to Caroline for a kiss goodnight. She then excused herself so she could put Flora to bed for the evening.

"Lawrence wants to go and live with John," Caroline revealed to her mother as they clattered about the kitchen rinsing dishes and putting away left-over food.

"No!" Celia exclaimed, a little shocked by the news. "Why does he want to go and do that?"

"Between the accident and the arrival of the baby I think he's feeling a bit…you know…left out," Caroline explained, the upset obvious in her voice.

"I can see there's that but surely he realises that you had no choice….You had to look after Kate and the baby…..What are you going to do? He can't go and live with that ….useless pillock."

"I don't think I can stop him if he really wants to do it…..after all, he is 16, nearly 17 and John is his father even if the man is a complete jerk."

Caroline placed the final few plates in the dishwasher, closed the door and pushed the button to start the cycle. She then offered to pour Celia a glass of wine but her mother declined.

"I'm just about ready to turn in for the night," Celia explained. "I'll fetch Alan and leave you to it. Thank Kate for the dinner, will you love."

Caroline saw her mum and Alan to the door and then locked up behind them before heading upstairs.

As she came to the landing outside Lawrence's room she stopped. She had assured her son that they would discuss the matter of living with his father tonight so she felt obliged to keep her promise although there was no actual idea in her head as to what to do.

Caroline knocked tentatively on the door. No answer. He wasn't ignoring her, she told herself. He was probably listening to his music. She tried again more firmly and received a mumbled, indecipherable response which Caroline took as permission to enter. She opened the door hesitantly unsure of the reception she would receive. Teenagers were so unpredictable.

Lawrence was lying on his bed absorbed in one of his extensive collection of Death Grip comic books and listening to music through his headphones. Caroline sat herself down on the side of the bed. Lawrence removed the headphones but continued to focus on his book rather than look at his mother. Still unsure of the best way to proceed, Caroline simply sat wordlessly.

"I love you….you do know that don't you?" she finally said, her voice hoarse with emotion and uncertainty.

Lawrence closed his comic book and looked up at her, sullen and silent.

"How about if I phone your father tomorrow and discuss this …um…matter ...with him and see if we can make some plans that suit everyone? I really would like it if we could be a family…you, me, Kate and Flora."

A mollified smile spread across her son's face as he gave her a more amicable nod.

With nothing further to add, Caroline leant over and gave her son a kiss on the cheek then stood and turned for the door.

"Mum," Lawrence said in a voice barely above a whisper, "I love you too."

She turned to look at him, her blue eyes suddenly watery with tears, and gave him a brief smile and a rather shaky, "Goodnight."

Before heading for her own bedroom, Caroline did a quick check on Flora to make sure she was safe and sound. There wasn't a peep and all seemed well.

Finally Caroline made it to her own room. Kate was propped up in their bed, her glasses on, reading her emails and such on her ipad.

"Oh, hello….you eventually made it," Kate teased. "Sorry, to leave you alone but Flora has only just gone to sleep," Kate explained apologetically.

Caroline had changed and slipped into bed sidling up beside her wife, remembering as she did, to pass on Celia's 'thank you' for the dinner. Kate smiled to herself. She was determined to win Celia over, bit by stubborn bit.

Snuggling in close and resting her head on Kate's chest, Caroline said, "Can I ask you something?"

"Do you want a divorce already?" Kate suggested mischievously.

"No…never…I love being married to you, you cook an excellent baked dinner," Caroline teased back.

Kate placed her ipad on the bedside table so she could slip an arm around her partner and draw her in closer then gave Caroline her full attention. "Go on then, what do you want to ask?"

Caroline took a deep breath as she decided where to start.

"As you know, amidst all the chaos of the ….accident…"

She felt Kate tense slightly at the mention of the hit-and-run. They hadn't yet been able to really talk to one another about what had happened on that day…..it was too soon…emotions were still too raw. They would discuss it one day but not yet.

"We never did get around to registering our daughter's birth…the hospital has all the details but I mean properly registering her with a birth certificate that has our names on…yours and mine… as the parents, as well as her name now that we have chosen one."

Kate gently ran her fingers through Caroline's hair as she listened.

"I've cleared my morning schedule for tomorrow so I'm free up until lunch time," Caroline continued, "so we could drive to the Harrogate Registry Office first thing in the morning and do it….make it official…What do you think?"

"Or I could meet you in Harrogate after school so you wouldn't have to be late for work," Kate suggested innocently.

"No," Caroline said more firmly than she had intended then added on a quieter but no less urgent note, "I need to do this as soon as possible….I promised Flora I would do it as soon as possible."

For a moment Kate was confused until suddenly the reason for Caroline's urgency struck her and she understood her wife's fear.

"Of course we can," Kate agreed as she placed a light kiss on the top of her wife's head.

"Besides that, I need to take my car into Harrogate to be fixed in the morning too," Caroline added less seriously.

"The Jeep? What's wrong with it?"

"Oh, some little cherub thought it would be a good idea to scratch words into the paint on the driver's door," Caroline muttered wearily.

Astounded at the thought of someone at Sulgrave Heath daring to do that and particularly to the Head Teacher's car, Kate asked, "What did they write?"

"Something about a Dutch water channel," was Caroline's mumbled reply. She was fading fast.

"A Dutch water channel?"

It took Kate a few seconds to unscramble Caroline's cryptic answer.

"A dy…They didn't? Surely not!"

There was no reply to her exclamation.

"Caroline?...Caroline?"

Kate looked down and could see that Caroline's eyes were closed; her wife's body lay limp and relaxed beside her with an arm resting peacefully across Kate's stomach. Caroline had fallen asleep. She was tucked in close and Kate could feel the slow, regular beat of her wife's heart next to her own.

Kate traced a slender finger very lightly along her wife's cheek down to her chin then once again kissed the top of her head.

"You're magnificent," she whispered softly to the woman she loved.


	3. Chapter 3

**_"_****_A Gift of Life"_**

**_Chapter 3_**

After she had rinsed all the used breakfast dishes and mugs and stacked them in the dishwasher with her usual pedantic precision, Caroline gave the kitchen benches one final wipe down with a damp cloth before joining Kate as she sat on a kitchen stool nursing their baby daughter who was content for the moment to lie in her mother's arms simply being adored by her attentive parents. Enamoured by them both, Caroline encircled her wife and child in a protective embrace and placed a light, ever grateful kiss on Kate's forehead.

Suddenly they were startled from the peace and quiet of the moment by the loud blare of a car horn from the driveway followed by Lawrence dashing past the kitchen at warp speed calling out as he went, "Angus is here!"

Seeing as Caroline wasn't going into work until much later in the day, Lawrence had arranged for Angus' dad to pick him up and take him to school rather than have to catch the bus. Caroline would return the favour at the end of the day.

Before Caroline could respond with a 'good-bye', Lawrence reappeared in the kitchen doorway.

"You won't forget to call dad today, will you?" he reminded her.

Kate turned to give her wife a questioning glance.

"I won't forget…now go, Angus' dad is waiting," Caroline replied a little sheepishly knowing that she should have probably mentioned the problem to Kate before now. She had been going to tell her the previous night but she had fallen asleep before she'd had a chance. "I'll see you and Angus this afternoon…Bye…Bye-bye."

As Lawrence disappeared down the hallway and out the door, Kate asked, "Why do you have to call John?"

"I'll tell you in the car," Caroline replied, "we need to get moving if we're going to make our appointment at the Register Office…it was the only appointment available for this morning and that was only after a cancellation."

She gave her wife one more reassuring kiss on the cheek before going to collect their handbags and the bag of baby paraphernalia from the dining room where they'd left them. Kate secured Flora into the baby capsule ready to carry her precious cargo to the car.

On her way, she made a point of checking out the damage done to the Jeep's driver's side door that Caroline had mentioned.

Shaking her head in disgust and disappointment Kate asked, "Do you think you'll find out who did this?"

"I'm fairly certain I will know by the end of the day," Caroline announced confidently. "It's not common knowledge but you only have to look to see that there is a CCTV unit overlooking that part of the entrance. We'll only have to look at the footage from yesterday to find out who the culprit is which reminds me, I'd better call Beverley and ask her to take care of that."

"What will you do once you know who it is?"

"I'm not exactly sure yet but at the very least they can pay for the repairs."

Once she had secured Flora into the rear seat in her capsule, Kate then buckled herself in the front. Caroline could see from the strained set of her jaw and the anxious look in her eyes that she was nervous. Since the accident Kate hadn't ventured out much and it was still a rather traumatic experience for her to be out on the streets and in the busy shops.

"Are you alright?" Caroline inquired quietly as she ran a comforting hand along Kate's forearm.

Kate's throat was too constricted with nerves to allow her to form words so, keeping her eyes strictly focussed ahead, she gave a determined nod.

"You'll be fine," Caroline assured her, "but you have to promise to tell me if it's getting too much for you."

Each corner of Kate's mouth turned up tentatively into a weak smile.

Caroline turned the key in the ignition, carefully reversed down the drive and entered out onto the street, driving with particular care and caution.

More as a distraction from her fear but also out of curiosity, Kate asked, "So?"

Caroline raised a puzzled eyebrow.

"So why does Lawrence want you to give John a call?" she expounded so as to make more sense.

Caroline hesitated. It hurt more than she cared to admit even to herself that her son preferred to go and live with John rather than stay with her. She understood, at least in part, his reasoning but that made the idea no easier to accept.

"Um…Lawrence wants to go and live with his father so, rather than have a row about it, I said I would call John and discuss it with him…maybe arrange something we're all happy with. Lawrence is nearly 17…he's old enough to do what he wants anyway."

"Oh," Kate replied meekly before going quiet altogether. Her eyes dropped to her lap as she suddenly became very absorbed by a loose thread on the hem of her blouse.

Caroline slowed down and indicated as she came to an intersection and then, noting the continued silence asked, "What's the matter?"

"Why does he want to go and live with John?" she managed to say.

Once the coast was clear Caroline turned onto the main thoroughfare to Harrogate.

Aware of what Kate might possibly be thinking Caroline put her words together carefully before answering.

"John's his dad and they've always had a good relationship regardless of what's gone on….and I think Lawrence feels a bit sorry for him not having anyone."

"Are you certain that's all it is?"

"What do you mean?"

It was Kate's turn to hesitate. She'd always had a gnawing feeling that Lawrence blamed her for his parents not sorting things out and reconciling but she'd never really voiced these thoughts before, not even to Caroline.

"I think Lawrence harbours some resentment towards me and blames me for you and John not patching things up….and now, since the …accident…where you've spent so much of your time taking care of me and, of course, Flora…Caroline, I never intended to come between you and Lawrence." Kate stopped there as tears threatened to spill.

"First of all," Caroline responded firmly to ensure Kate understood her sincerity, "you are not responsible for John and me breaking up or not getting back together….that would be John and Judith's fault, as you well know and second, I'm a lesbian, I prefer to be with women….and perhaps Lawrence_ is_ feeling a little left out with everything that has happened but he's nearly an adult now, he needs to realise that the world doesn't actually revolve around him alone….there are always others to consider." Caroline took a deep breath in order to settle herself before adding more quietly, "He's my son and I will always love him but he needs to learn some compassion and maybe he will do that when he's been out in the world a bit more. Besides John is also his parent and should take some responsibility too. It won't hurt his father to have to deal with some teenage angst for a bit….who knows, they might both grow up."

"How do _you_ feel about it all?"

"I'm not over the moon about the idea as you can imagine…John is not the ideal role model…but I'd rather we did it amicably rather than have Lawrence storm out," Caroline explained, "although I suspect that living with John won't be quite as easy as Lawrence imagines it to be."

As they neared the Harrogate Register Office Caroline slowed down in order to search for a place to park but the car park was full and, despite cruising the entire block, there were no spaces available on the same side of the road as the building they wanted. They would have to park and cross the road and she knew, as she watched her wife's features tense up, that Kate had come to the same conclusion. It wasn't a busy street but it didn't matter. Kate had only been out into Harrogate twice since the accident and each time the thought of crossing a road, albeit a quiet one, filled her with dread as it brought back such terrible memories. She honestly couldn't remember exactly what had happened and for that she was grateful but an innate fear was present nonetheless.

Caroline reversed into a parking space almost directly opposite the Register Office. As she cut the Jeep's engine she reached over and gave Kate's hand an encouraging squeeze before stepping out of the vehicle and going around to open the door for her. Kate had unbuckled her seatbelt but remained frozen in her seat. Rather than force her or cajole her out of the car, Caroline left her to gather her resolve. Kate needed to do this on her own. Meanwhile Caroline busied herself lifting the pram from the rear of the Jeep, unfolding it and then unfastening Flora from her capsule and nestling her in it. She also grabbed the baby bag and put it in the pram as well. By the time Caroline had organised Flora and her lot Kate was standing stoically beside her.

"You'll be fine," Caroline whispered as she offered Kate her arm in support which was gratefully accepted.

Together they walked a short distance along the footpath until they came to a spot where they had full vision of the street for a good distance in either direction. They waited for two cars to pass and then, when it was all clear, they began to cross, both women fighting the urge to run.

Once safely on the footpath on the other side Kate's features visibly relaxed as she released her vice-like grip on Caroline's elbow. Her relief was only tempered by the thought that she would have to do it all over again in a short while, however, each time it became a little easier.

Inside the Register Office Caroline approached the receptionist and let them know they had arrived for their appointment. There was only a brief wait until their names were called then Kate, Caroline and baby Flora were ushered into a nearby room by one of the clerks - a youngish, thirty-something man dressed in a neat suit and with a head of tight red curls the colour of rust and friendly blue eyes. His greeting was warm and genuine and his manner polite. The room was small but with modern furnishings that belied the traditional exterior of the building. The clerk offered each woman a seat as he took up his own on the opposite side of the desk and asked them what he could do to help.

While Caroline explained to him about wanting to officially register the birth of their daughter and also about the accident, Kate retrieved the necessary documents and proof of identification from her bag.

The clerk listened attentively to Caroline's story, expressing his regrets at Kate's misfortune at the appropriate time and then listened some more. At the end Caroline waited with bated breath for the inevitable questions…._Who's the father? Are you both married…to each other?... _but none of these were forthcoming. Instead, the clerk checked the paperwork thoroughly, carefully recorded all the necessary details and then in good time had the birth certificate made out in the name of Flora Grace McKenzie-Dawson, born on Sunday, 8th March 2015 in Harrogate, England to parents, Katherine Abeke McKenzie-Dawson and Caroline Elizabeth McKenzie-Dawson.

Once it was all signed and stamped in the appropriate places to make it official, Kate and Caroline took a moment to admire it and all that it stood for, each silently recalling everything that they had been through to arrive at this memorable point in time. Caroline could feel her heart swell with a combination of happiness and parental pride as she also released an unconscious sigh of relief.

As they were leaving the office Caroline looked at her watch.

"I think they'll cope without me for a bit longer and there's a café not too far from here, do you want to have a celebratory bite of morning tea?"

"Why not," Kate replied, her mood somewhat lighter, "but Flora is going to want feeding soon."

"I'm fairly certain the people there will help us out with warming the bottle," Caroline assured her as she headed them out of the building and in the direction of the café, making sure that Kate, who was pushing the pram, was kept to the inside of the footpath and out of harm's way.

At one point, as they walked along, scaffolding from a renovation site protruded out onto the footpath narrowing their way. Caroline stepped aside and allowed Kate to lead past safely before following after her and then making it back to her side.

Fortunately there were only two other people in the tiny café that was decked out with traditional Yorkshire furnishings, for no sooner had they settled into their seats by the window overlooking the park than Flora let it be known, loud and clear, that she was wanting to be fed.

Kate lifted her daughter from the pram and attempted to soothe the wails with reassurances that nourishment was indeed on the way while Caroline quickly scrummaged through the baby bag until she found the bottle of formula which she took with her to the counter. The café owner was more than happy to oblige with the warming of the bottle, partly, Caroline suspected, because a howling baby couldn't possibly be good for business.

As Kate waited for Caroline's return she peered down at the tiny, helpless figure she held in her arms. She had so looked forward to giving birth to this life she had created…and then nurturing that life from its very first seconds, holding her close, feeding her from the milk her own body had created but within a split second all of those experiences and first vital weeks with her daughter had been recklessly snatched from her courtesy of some reckless fools mucking about in a stolen car.

_Damn them, she thought to herself. They hadn't even stopped to see if she was alive….they'd run off like the cowards they were….damn them to…._

Kate stopped her thoughts there. It served no purpose, she knew, to hold onto this internal wrath. She needed, for her own benefit, to let it go. Being angry would not change anything that had happened, would bring nothing back and, of course, she still had so much to be grateful for. Despite the very long odds, she had survived and was relatively unscathed and more importantly her baby was also, amazingly, unharmed and was now healthy and happy, apart from the present pressing need for her bottle. She also had the love and support of her wonderful wife, Caroline, the woman she had so truly loved for such a long time now which was something she was thankful for every single day.

"This should be warm enough," Caroline said as she presented Kate with the bottle, jolting her from her thoughts.

Kate tested the temperature of the milk on the back of her hand and seemed satisfied. Flora wasted no time in attaching herself to the teat and consuming it.

Both women watched on mesmerised in the ensuing silence.

"I ordered us a pot of Yorkshire tea….Is that alright? I'll change the order if you would prefer something else…A coffee?...Oh, and there's some scones and jam coming too."

Kate flashed her wife one of her 100 watt smiles, a smile that still lifted Caroline's heart like a helium-filled balloon and left her feeling like an infatuated teenager with a guileless crush on one of her teachers.

"Sounds perfect," Kate replied.

The waitress timed the delivery of the tea and scones almost perfectly as it wasn't long after the pot and plates arrived at the table that Kate was able to place a now-drowsy Flora back into the pram.

"John called into the house yesterday," Kate stated in a conversational manner as she poured them both a cup of tea.

Caroline looked up in surprise causing the heavy dollop of whipped cream that she was about to spoon onto her scone to plop onto the plate instead.

"Did he? What did he want?" she asked trying to remain casual as she scooped the cream back on to her spoon.

"I'm not sure…..you, I suspect," Kate replied, the annoyance and frustration rising in her voice despite her best efforts to control them. "He wanted to know if '_his wife'_ was in and he expected to just walk into the house like he still owned it, no matter that we've had to beg, borrow and steal a small fortune in order to buy him out."

The initial look of surprise on Caroline's face soon turned to one of controlled fury, an expression the students at Sulgrave Heath had learned to fear. She'd had enough of John's interfering nonsense.

"What did you say to him?" Caroline asked, her words clipped.

"I made a point of telling him that _my wife_ wasn't home….and I reminded him that the house was no longer his and that we had bought out his share…. I also told him he needed to phone in future if he had a need to visit."

Caroline's frown softened. She couldn't help a small smile. Her wife was such a kind soul and it would have taken a lot for Kate to be so firm with her recalcitrant ex-husband. She reached out and gave Kate's hand an affectionate squeeze. While there, her fingers played with the platinum band that several weeks ago now she had slipped onto Kate's slender finger at their wedding as a physical symbol of her love and commitment to this woman.

"Caroline, I don't think he considers us and our marriage to be real….in his tiny, vacuous mind he thinks this is all pretend and that he can win you back…I would really like for him to go away."

"You and me both…You do know how ridiculous that notion of John's is don't you?" Caroline said to reassure her. "As a matter of fact, I must remember to thank Judith if I ever see her again.

"Thank Judith? What for?"

"For all of this." Caroline gestured towards Kate and Flora with her scone-filled hand. "For you, for Flora….for giving me back my true self…..If Judith hadn't slept with John I'd still be stuck living a half-life with that self-centred twat."

Kate's annoyance subsided and she laughed. She hadn't thought of it from that angle. They really did owe Judith a great deal. The woman had unknowingly done them both an enormous favour.

"When I talk to John about Lawrence I'll set him straight on these other matters as well," Caroline promised.

oooOooo

The owner of the Harrogate Panel Works shop knelt down in front of the vandalised car door running an experienced eye over the damage as he carefully considered what was required in the way of repairs. He ran one hand over where the writing had been scratched into the metal while the other hand rubbed his stubbled chin thoughtfully. As Caroline stood beside him waiting anxiously for his assessment she could feel a flush of embarrassment colour her neck and face. A hint of amusement played on the man's lips.

"Oh well, I guess it pays to advertise," he suggested, chuckling at his own joke.

Caroline shot him a glare that would have sunk a battleship.

"Sorry," he muttered noticing that his customer didn't share his sense of humour.

After a few more minutes of deliberation he delivered his verdict.

"Well, the good news," he said more seriously as he stood up, "is that the damage is restricted to just the one panel and they've not gone too deep with the scratches….it should be very straightforward to fix."

Caroline acknowledged the assessment with a nod.

"Do you know who the little brat is who did this?" he asked out of curiosity and to perhaps put himself back into his customer's good books.

"Not yet," was all Caroline replied.

"If you leave it with us today I'll have it back to you by Friday lunch time…in the meantime you can use one of our courtesy cars if you like." He nodded towards a Fiat 500 and a Vauxhall Insignia that were parked by the fence amongst a pile of discarded tyres. Both cars had probably seen better days. The Fiat 500 was too small and definitely out of the question which only left the Vauxhall to select.

"Thank you," Caroline answered hesitantly, "I'll take the Vauxhall if that's alright." It wasn't in the same league as her Jeep Cherokee but some form of transport was going to be required.

Caroline followed the shop owner into the office where she filled out the necessary forms for the work on the Jeep to proceed as well as providing some insurance details for both the Jeep and the loan car. Kate busied herself transferring things from one vehicle to the other including baby Flora.

The Vauxhall wasn't quite what Caroline was accustomed to with its interior entirely of vinyl and plastic, fitted with bass speakers that would shake your fillings loose mounted near the rear windscreen and an engine with a kick like a mule. The indicators and wiper controls were also on the opposite side to what she was used to but by the time they had made it back to 46 Conway Drive Caroline had stopped indicating with the wipers and was confident she had it all under control. She parked it at the top of the driveway and while Kate collected Flora from the backseat Caroline gathered everything else together to take inside, including, of course, the birth certificate.

Once everything was where it should be Caroline took a quick glance at her watch which told her that she needed to hurry as she had a Head of Departments meeting in just over thirty minutes. However, before she could rush out, Kate sidled up and surprised Caroline by dipping both hands into her blonde hair and guiding their lips together in what quickly became a searing kiss ….a kiss that instantly stirred parts of Caroline that probably shouldn't be stirred when she was required back at work in only half an hour's time. It wasn't until Kate's hand began to purposefully stroke and press between her thighs, however, that Caroline reluctantly drew away.

A little breath-taken Caroline said, "You can't do that to me now! I have to be in a meeting this afternoon."

"Are you sure," Kate whispered as she moved in to try again but Caroline quickly manoeuvred out of the way leaving Kate with a quick kiss on the cheek and a good-bye as she headed for the door noting, with an imperceptible grin, the slippery commotion that had begun to form between her legs.

oooOooo

The meeting began with Mrs Aspinall, on behalf of all the staff, giving Dr McKenzie-Dawson a warm, heart-felt welcome back to Sulgrave Heath. Caroline thanked them for their greeting and then it rapidly became business as usual.

The meeting was a busy one with several major matters having been put on hold during Caroline's extended absence and now, with her return, required her urgent attention and action. New questions and concerns were also raised. Caroline had Beverley make note of all these items and any business that wasn't dealt with during the meeting she had promised to address as a matter of priority. The list seemed interminable. Why hadn't Mr Harrison dealt with these issues, she had to wonder?

Eventually Caroline was saved by the sounding of the bell which signalled the resumption of lessons and the end of their meeting as several of the HODs were required on class. Even then, it was only after she had assured Mr Edwards that she would personally look at the resource list he had submitted and get back to him before the end of the week that her office was finally vacated.

"A cup of tea, Caroline?" Beverley asked.

"Yes please….if you wouldn't mind."

While Beverley went to make the tea, Caroline returned to her desk and looked for her phone which she eventually found under some paperwork she had been ploughing her way through. The last thing she felt like doing now….or possibly ever…was talking to her ex-husband but she had told her son she would do it so, with about as much enthusiasm as one would gather for having bamboo shoots shoved under their fingernails, Caroline found John's name in her contacts list and pressed 'call'.

The phone rang once….twice…three times…with no answer. Maybe he wouldn't answer and it would go to message bank allowing her to delay this conversation until another day.

"Hello….Caroline?" John's surprise at getting a call from his wife…ex-wife…was evident in his voice.

"_Damn,_" she thought to herself before replying, "Ah…yes…John, I need to talk to you about something." She kept her tone friendly but formal.

"Hi…How are you? I haven't heard from you in….Did Kate tell you I called in yesterday?"

"Yes, yes she did….John, I need to ask you something…discuss something with you…"

"Where are you? Are you at home? I could come over," he suggested hopefully.

"No…no…I'm at work." Caroline could feel her patience already rapidly draining away.

"We could meet for coff…"

"No, John," she said firmly, "I'm not meeting you anywhere."

"Okay…Another time perhaps…"

Caroline gritted her teeth in frustration. The man was insufferable.

"Are you listening, John?"

"Yes, what do you want to discuss?" A little less friendly now that his advances had been turned down.

"Lawrence."

"Lawrence?….What about Lawrence?"

Caroline took a second to steady her emotions. She didn't want John knowing that it upset her that Lawrence wanted to live with his dad.

"Lawrence wants to know if he can…come and live with you…in your flat?"

There was a stunned silence at the other end of the line so Caroline filled the space.

"He asked if he could come and live with you and I said I would discuss the matter with you and see if we could arrive at some arrangement."

"He wants to live with me? …..Lawrence does?" John asked in disbelief.

Caroline could picture the self-satisfied grin on his smug face and it was almost too much to bear. She would have dearly loved to have hung up there and then so as not to have to listen to the gloat in his voice.

"Yes…what do you think? What will I tell him?"

She hoped that John would find some excuse not to have Lawrence but that wasn't to be.

"Of course…that would be fabulous….I'll come over on the weekend and we can collect his things….he can move in on Saturday…it will give me a few days to …um…clean up a little."

_"__You mean throw out all the empty wine bottles,"_ Caroline muttered to herself before continuing, "But, John, if his marks begin to fall or his schoolwork suffers in any way, he's coming back to me. I don't care if I have to drag him kicking and screaming. Do you understand?"

"Don't worry…everything will be fine.."

Caroline could feel hot, angry tears forming in her eyes and she didn't trust herself to speak without faltering so she ended the call there and tossed her phone carelessly back onto the desk.

Feeling emotionally wrung out, she put her elbows on the desk and rested her face in the palms of her hands in order to block out the world that seemed to be whizzing by her, tossing up one mad thing after another. Was she doing the right thing by letting Lawrence go and live with John? It didn't really matter as he was old enough to leave without her permission. At least this way she didn't come out looking like the 'bad guy' again...the Wicked Witch of Whatever to John's Jack Kerouac.

Suddenly she remembered the other things she had promised Kate she would discuss with John. In her anger and haste to be rid of the man, she had forgotten. She would do it on Saturday, face to face.

"Are you alright?" came the familiar voice of her assistant.

Caroline looked up. She was sure her eyes were still a little watery but it was only Beverley. She would understand and could be trusted to be discreet.

"John," was the only reply necessary.

"Oh…enough said. Here's your tea."

Beverley placed a steaming mug of tea on the desk in front of her.

"I'll get that list of items from the meeting sorted for you and email it to you….Is there anything else you'd like me to do?"

"Yes, there is actually….I meant to call this morning but I didn't get a chance…There's been some vandalism done to my car….."

Beverley grimaced. "To your car? Done here?"

"Yes…it's nothing too serious but I would like to find the culprit…they can't be allowed to get away with that kind of thing…"

"Of course not!...I can't believe it."

"Would you contact the security company and have them take a look at yesterday's CCTV footage and see what they can find, please?"

"I'll do it straight up and get back to you," Beverley replied as she strode purposefully from the office. Over the years she had grown very protective of her boss and couldn't stand the thought that something like this had happened.

oooOooo

Caroline had waited until they had arrived home to tell her son about her phone call with John although Lawrence had brought up the topic almost immediately after Angus had been dropped off but she had managed to deflect the conversation knowing that it would be too difficult for her to discuss the matter and concentrate on driving as well. However, the moment they were inside the house, Lawrence had bailed her up in the kitchen.

"Did you ask dad like you promised?" Lawrence asked eagerly but half-expecting her to say no.

Caroline had her back to him as she filled the kettle with water.

"Yes…yes, I did," she replied barely loud enough for him to hear.

It was as though a hand had reached through her chest and was squeezing her heart with all its might. Did he think she was that unbearable to live with?

"What did he say?"

"He said he'll come over on Saturday and you can move some of your stuff over to his flat….if you like?" Caroline swallowed hard on the lump forming in her throat.

"Cool!"

At the last minute Lawrence realised that perhaps his mother was upset and he moved around the bench to give her a hug.

"Thanks mum," he said in a more considerate manner. "He doesn't have anyone."

"Sure," Caroline replied, hugging him back, "but I've told your father that if your schoolwork isn't being done or your marks drop, you're back here, no questions asked. Do you understand?"

"Everything will be fine, mum, don't worry."

Famous last words she thought as she watched him race off to his room….probably to give the good news to Angus.

"Where's Kate?" Caroline wondered. She needed some solace and Kate could always make her feel better.

She took her fresh cup of tea and went in search. They were both to be found napping peacefully in the living room, Flora in her swing seat and Kate stretched out lazily on the sofa. The sight of the two girls she loved most in the world looking so serene automatically lightened Caroline's mood considerably. Caroline wasn't sure how she did it but even asleep Kate could stir her heart and so it was, with a great deal of self-control, that she resisted the urge to lean over and kiss her wife's inviting lips and instead, she left them to their dreams as she went upstairs to change.

When Caroline returned downstairs dressed more casually, she found Kate was now in the kitchen about to prepare some vegetables. Flora was there too also alert and following the movement of her parents as best she could from her where her seat had been placed.

Caroline lifted her daughter from her seat, held her in her arms and plied her chubby, toffee-coloured hands with gentle kisses.

"So when is it my turn?" Kate asked with feigned jealousy.

Caroline obliged immediately by reaching out to Kate with her one free arm and drawing her into a loving kiss also.

oooOooo

It was that time of the evening that both Kate and Caroline really treasured. Dinner had been eaten and the cleaning up afterwards was all done. Lawrence had gone up to his room, ostensibly to sleep but in reality he was probably immersed in his latest Death Grip comic book. Caroline had fed and bathed Flora and put her in her cot. All was quiet for the time being.

Finally they had some precious time to themselves. They had each taken their glass of red wine into the living room and made themselves comfortable on the sofa, lying stretched out and side by side, their head and shoulders supported by the many cushions and their legs entwined. Many late evenings were spent like this where the couple would chat and catch up on each other's day but tonight there didn't seem to be a need for words; there was a more basic desire simply for the touch and taste of one another as they kissed, with one tender kiss leading to the next and the next and yet another.

Suddenly the buzzing of Caroline's phone disrupted their quiet and burst their perfect bubble.

"Don't answer it," Kate suggested between kisses.

Caroline tried her best to ignore it but its persistence won out as she reached across Kate's lap and grabbed it from the coffee table. She checked the screen and looked puzzled.

"It's Gillian," she whispered to Kate as she answered. "Hello. Gillian?"

"Oh, hi Caroline….Sorry to be calling so late….How are you? And Kate and the baby?"

"We're all fine, thank you ….You?"

"Yeah…good…we're all good," Gillian replied sounding rather nervous.

"What can I do for you?" Caroline asked, getting straight to the point. She wasn't really in the mood for mindless nattering with her stepsister, not when she and Kate had finally managed to grab some time to themselves.

Gillian hesitated. "I just wanted to tell you something."

That's never a good sign, Caroline thought dubiously as she untangled herself from Kate and sat up.

"What?"

"I wanted you to know before you heard it from somewhere else….it's about me and Robbie."

Alarm bells began to ring. Caroline stood up and ambled towards the kitchen and out of earshot of Kate.

"What about you and Robbie?" Caroline asked with a sense of dread.

"He's asked me to marry him…..and I've said yes."

Kate sat up on the sofa and followed Caroline with her eyes curious to know what was happening. Despite not being able to hear the conversation she could tell from her wife's expression and body language that things were rather serious.

Finally, when Caroline had ended the call and re-joined Kate in the living room, her mood was quite subdued…more solemn.

Kate waited for Caroline to volunteer an explanation but when nothing was forthcoming she asked, "What was that all about?"

"Oh, nothing really...Just Gillian being...Gillian," Caroline replied in an attempt to avoid any further discussion.

Kate persisted. "You seem to be rather serious all of a sudden for it to be nothing."

Caroline detested the idea of lying or keeping secrets from her wife and occasionally she thought this secret of Gillian's would be an easier burden to bear if she could share it with Kate but then, of course, the dire implications of what might happen if she did share and put Kate in the same position Gillian had put her….an unwitting accessory to murder…kept her silent.

Now, against her advice and any common sense, Robbie and Gillian were to be married. What if, after a couple of drinks when her judgement wasn't at its best, Gillian took it upon herself to confess to Robbie what she had done to her husband…his brother? It was all too frightening to contemplate.

"Can we talk about it in bed?" Caroline suggested wearily, hoping that by the time they had crawled into bed the subject would be forgotten or overshadowed by another matter.

Still bothered by Gillian's news, Caroline lay in their bed, unable to stop her mind turning over all the possibilities and consequences. At that moment she decided that if Gillian was foolish enough to confess then she would lie about any knowledge of the murder….she wasn't going to lose everything she had because of Gillian's ridiculous desire to purge her conscience….she would lie and be happy enough to live with that lie.

Kate slipped into the bed beside her.

"You look worried. What's happened?"

There was no response for a moment or two. Kate thought Caroline had perhaps fallen asleep as her eyes were closed but then suddenly they opened and looked up at her, troubled and anxious and then Caroline spoke.

"Do you remember when I told you that Gillian's husband had committed suicide…..?"


	4. Chapter 4

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"**_A Gift of Life"_**

**_Chapter 4_**

The manner of Gillian's husband's death had only been brought up once before and that had been over six months ago now. Kate and Caroline had gone their separate ways after falling out on what turned out to be a disastrous weekend away for Kate's birthday. Then several months later, after spending a drunken, confession-filled night at Gillian's farm, Caroline had turned up on Kate's doorstep the following afternoon, ostensibly to thank her for taking care of Lawrence when John had gone missing in action, but also wanting to ask Kate to give her one more chance. Time without Kate…the catching glimpses of her almost every day, hearing her voice as she spoke and laughed with others but not with her, feeling her presence but not acknowledging each other except in the most formal of manners, not having her close to confide in and to love…had brought Caroline to a much fuller appreciation of what a truly precious gift their relationship had been and she was determined to try harder.

As she worked up the courage to ask for another opportunity, Caroline had explained that she had just spent a weird night with Gillian at the farm and that after they had both drunk far too much alcohol Gillian had told her things…things that she had never been able to talk about before.

"Mmmm….I do remember you saying that he had done things to her….humiliating things," Kate recalled solemnly, "that he had raped her…and yes, I do remember you mentioning that he had committed suicide."

"He killed himself with a log splitter…Gillian was the one who walked into the barn and found him…he'd bled to death."

After wrangling with her conscience for some considerable time, Caroline had decided that despite not wanting to keep any secrets from her wife and perhaps lightening her own load somewhat by confiding in Kate, there was too much at stake. If Gillian ever blurted out the truth to Robbie the consequences would be dire and far-reaching. Caroline, herself, often wished she didn't know what she knew so she could not inflict that same fate on Kate too. None of us ever know what is around the next corner, Caroline thought, and that is particularly relevant where Gillian is concerned, so she selflessly kept the awful truth to herself.

Kate looked at her horrified. "A log splitter? That's a nasty way to go….but what has that got to do with her marrying Robbie?"

"Eddie was Robbie's older brother," Caroline explained, "and when this all happened he was convinced that Gillian had murdered Eddie."

"Murdered her own husband? Gillian?"

"Gillian and Alan were hauled in for questioning a number of times…for years Robbie kept on about it, sharing his theory with anyone who would listen."

"I can't say that I'd blame her if the things she said he did were true."

"She showed me a mark on the back of her neck where he once put out a cigarette ….and he knocked out three of her back teeth," Caroline added to perhaps quell any doubts.

"Shit," Kate muttered, although Caroline noticed she had become slightly distracted from their conversation and her eyes had taken on a different quality….more liquid…more intense.

"I can't believe he has buried all of that and now reckons to love her and wants to marry her."

…Dark fingers lightly brushed aside several strands of blonde hair that veiled her wife's amazing blue eyes…..Tender lips pressed to Caroline's forehead for a brief moment smoothing out the creases of concern…

"It's all going to end in tears….I just know it will," Caroline continued unaware that Kate had stopped listening…no, she was listening but she had stopped deciphering. Instead, she was attuned to the gentle lilt and timbre of her partner's voice. It reminded Kate of a fine red wine with its varied and subtle nuances and she loved to drink it in unadorned by the clutter of words.

"I think I'll take a drive up to Halifax on Sunday and have a chat….make sure sh.…"

…A sharp intake of breath…

Caroline's sentence was cut short as Kate's hand, which had been leisurely caressing her breasts, now passed lightly over each nipple, the sensation catching Caroline off-guard and causing her to gasp. Through the thin fabric of Caroline's pyjama top Kate could feel each bud become firm against her palm.

"You won't change her mind," Kate replied re-joining the conversation, all the while her molten eyes taking in with amusement Caroline's struggle to remain focussed as her lithe hand now strayed beneath the top. "You know what she's like when she's made up her mind about something…"

"I just want to make sure she's thought this thing through properly and it's probably best I do it in p…Oh God!"

… Feather-light kisses, hot like steam, had been plied to each bare breast and now Kate took a swollen bud in her mouth and worked it with her velvety-soft tongue….stroking, swirling…..

"In person," Caroline finished as Kate released one nipple only to find the other and tease it until Caroline's back arched sharply pushing her breast deeper into Kate's mouth, begging her to stroke harder, swirl faster….but Kate released them entirely….she was in no rush. Instead, Caroline felt her wife's warm mouth move up against her collar bone, delve into the nape of her neck, caress her cheek…until their lips met in a kiss that demanded her full attention and to which Caroline surrendered completely.

All extraneous thoughts and talk of Gillian and Robbie had now dissipated as Kate's hand floated purposefully over Caroline's breast….her stomach…her thighs….enthralled by the sensual curves and silky skin. Caroline then let her legs be eased apart. Kate's hand rested there between them, keeping still, agonisingly still, until she felt Caroline start to stir against it. She slipped first one then another slender finger into the slickness elicited by Caroline's arousal and revelled in the response of her lover's quickening pulse and breathy sighs as she set up a rhythm which Caroline's hips, almost at once, began to match….slow and hypnotic to start with but soon she felt Caroline working hard against her hand, the motion ever quickening. Kate dipped her two fingers inside while her thumb circled, with growing pressure and speed, the firm, fleshy pearl of her lover's centre. Her hips bucked and Kate felt Caroline's teeth graze her lips and her hot tongue flash in her mouth, the rapture rising until it became a delicious blur of touch, movement, pressure and insistence. As Caroline began to tense and strain Kate increased her rhythm further until she collected the full force of her partner's final, climactic shudder in her hand and captured her stifled cries in a kiss.

With her own pleasure sated, Caroline moved almost immediately to return the favour as she rolled onto her side, at the same time motioning Kate onto her back, and playing a hand under her shirt and along the dark skin of Kate's bare torso towards her breasts. Almost to the brink already, Kate gripped Caroline's wrist and led her hand to between her legs, guiding her fingers into the ample wetness.

"See what you do to me?" she said in a low, ragged whisper.

Before Caroline could reply a loud, woeful howl erupted from the nursery. Reluctantly, Caroline went to remove her hand so she could tend to her daughter's needs but Kate's own hand quickly clamped over the top holding it firmly in place.

"Let's give her a moment…..she might go back to sleep," Kate suggested hopefully.

However, it wasn't to be and as each mother listened anxiously to their daughter's cries the moment of passion steadily waned.

"I'll go see to her," Caroline offered, "you can stay and…um…you know…. 'finish off business'."

"You're not going to get out of it that easily, Caroline McKenzie-Dawson," Kate laughed, "you owe me. I'll go see to her….. You've got work tomorrow…. Get some sleep."

With that, Kate slipped from between the sheets, composed herself, attempting to shake off the lust and went to see to her daughter.

"Sorry," Caroline smiled apologetically on Flora's behalf as she watched Kate pad off towards the next room.

A quick nappy change later, Kate returned to the bedroom carrying a more content Flora in her arms. She plumped up her pillows and sat propped up on the bed nursing her, admiring yet again the life she had miraculously managed to bring into the world. Caroline, who hadn't quite drifted off, snuggled in closer to her wife and child and gently rested an arm across Kate's hips. Eyelids soon became heavy until eventually both Caroline and Flora were fast asleep.

oooOooo

Caroline gave one final call out to Lawrence to get a move on unless he planned to walk to school that morning as she tossed her £800 'Mulberry' leather satchel and a small stack of files that she had intended to read and action but hadn't quite got to…a beautiful wife and daughter can be so distracting at times…onto the untidy backseat of the Vauxhall that was littered with automobile magazines, a couple of spanners, wrenches and a rubber mallet, several 'dead' spark plugs, a random sock and what looked like a rancid orange. With only one more day until she had her Jeep back Caroline had fought the compulsion to clean it out. Both she and Kate had overslept as had their usual tiny, human alarm and now she would be late for work if she didn't hurry.

As Lawrence hurtled out the door, down the steps and towards the car, still struggling to get an arm into his jacket and keep hold of his schoolbag, Caroline turned the key in the ignition. Lawrence momentarily disappeared in the billow of oily smoke that belched from the Vauxhall's exhaust as the engine kicked into life.

Once her son was in the car and the smoke cloud had cleared, Caroline reversed, none too carefully, down the driveway and out onto the street.

While she concentrated on the road ahead, Lawrence turned his attention to experimenting with the various knobs on the radio as he searched for a suitable radio station, something he knew jarred his mother's already frayed nerves but he couldn't help himself. Suddenly a sonic boom exploded from the rear speakers possibly splitting every atom in their respective bodies as Lawrence inadvertently turned the volume knob to 'FULL'. Startled by the sudden blast of sound, Caroline veered off the bitumen, narrowly avoiding putting the car into a roadside ditch and just managing to avert the collection of an advisory 'Drive Carefully' sign as she righted the vehicle.

Hurriedly, Lawrence found the volume knob and switched the disturbance off altogether although the ringing in their ears continued well after the noise had ceased. The glare Caroline gave her son could have been used to peel paint from walls. Other than a mouthed 'sorry' from Lawrence, there was absolute silence for the remainder of the drive.

Caroline had only been in her office long enough to turn on her computer and enter her password when there was a cursory rap on the door immediately followed by the entrance of her assistant, Beverley, who seemed unusually excited.

"Morning, Beverley."

After her habitual, 'Good morning,' Beverley took a second to refer to Caroline's diary that she organised for her and got straight down to business.

"You've got a meeting with the architects today at ten and a phone conference with the directors at 11:30am. Then there's a meeting with the student council at second break and Giles would like you to get back to him sometime today about the invitation to be keynote speaker at this year's Educators' Conference….oh, and this is interesting…. I contacted the security company like you asked and they've just phoned to say that they checked Monday's footage from the CCTV and have emailed you some images you might be interested in."

"Right…Good…As soon as I take care of a couple of other jobs I'll take a look."

Beverley barely disguised her disappointment that Caroline wasn't more curious about discovering who the perpetrators were and wasn't going to look into it immediately.

Deciding therefore that there was no point hanging around, Beverley asked, "A cup of tea then?"

"Yes, please…..Oh and thank you for getting onto that security matter so swiftly, Beverley," she added as her slightly miffed assistant turned to leave.

Caroline wasn't sure she really wanted to know which one of the students at Sulgrave Heath thought it was appropriate…funny even….to vandalise her car with such derogatory remarks and try to humiliate her and she was even less sure as to how to effectively deal with such ignorance and bigotry. How did one undo what was probably a firmly-instilled attitude? Generally she was good at dealing with problems that arose with the students but perhaps this one was just a bit too close to home and too deeply etched in society for her to right. After all, even she had had to deal with a certain amount of personal homophobia as she came to terms with the depth and nature of her feelings for Kate so rife was the prejudice and so great the pressure for acceptance. Nonetheless, she would deal with the matter but she needed time to think about a suitable course of action.

There was one decision concerning the matter that she had made, however. She was going to look into professional development courses on offer for her staff so that they would feel confident in dealing with homophobia and bullying effectively as and when it arose. Caroline was determined that nobody but nobody at her school, either staff or student, would be victim of such mindless behaviour.

It wasn't until after her phone conference with the members of the Board of Directors that Caroline finally made the time to open the email with the incriminating images attached. There were at least a dozen photos grabbed from the recorded video. Some were grainy and unfocussed or the angle wasn't good but others were clear and they left no doubt in her mind as to who was responsible.

Caroline picked up the phone to the outer office.

"Beverley, can you ring the parents of Sebastian Dickson and Angus McIvoy please and have them come in to see me at their earliest convenience. Tell them that the matter is quite urgent."

oooOooo

Happy to put her rather torrid first week back at work behind her with its issues and demands, not least of which was today's conversation with the parents of both Seb Dickson and Lawrence's best friend, Angus, Caroline drove to the panel shop to collect her car.

After a close inspection of the work that had been done, she more than cheerfully exchanged the keys to the Vauxhall for the ones to her Jeep Cherokee and headed home. She was looking forward to the freedom of the weekend although it too wasn't without its demands on her time and emotions. John was coming over the next morning to collect Lawrence which she wasn't thrilled about nor was she entirely convinced she had made the right decision letting her son live with his scatty father but she could see no other way. Only time would tell she supposed. There were also the other matters she had promised she would address with her ex-husband including the fact that he was now, well and truly, exactly that, an _ex-husband_ and that he was no longer welcome to drop in at the house at his whim and fancy. However, Caroline put these notions aside in favour of the far more pleasant thought of spending time with Kate and Flora. They hadn't made any particular plans but time together was always special and precious.

Possibly because he was feeling some guilt at abandoning his mother in preference for living with his dad or maybe he was just in a generous mood…Who can tell with teenagers?... after dinner Lawrence volunteered to clear away the dishes and stack the dishwasher. Once Caroline overcame her initial shock she was more than happy to take him up on the offer so while he buzzed between the kitchen and dining room with the used cutlery and crockery, the two women took their respective glasses of red wine and their daughter into the living room. Flora was content to lie on her blanket on the floor with a plush toy to amuse her while Kate and Caroline lounged out along the length of the sofa tucked in close as they often did at this time of the evening.

"How did your meeting with Seb Dickson's and Angus' parents go today?" Kate asked, curious to know how Caroline had eventually handled the situation.

"Seb's parents were quite mortified by their son's homophobic behaviour…..turns out that Seb's uncle…his mum's brother, Graham…is gay and she is very close to him but they'd never discussed it with Seb. They gave Seb quite a dressing down on the issue right there in my office and made it very clear that they did not approve of what he had done."

"That must have been a relief for you," Kate replied, "sometimes you don't know how much support you're going to get from parents on these issues."

"It was a relief but I've still given him a five day suspension and during that time he's to research and write a three thousand word report on the contribution of gay men and women to The Arts in the UK…..that should keep him focussed and out of trouble and who knows, he may learn some appreciation. His parents also offered to pay for the damage but I told them that it was covered by insurance and suggested they donate some money to an LGBT cause instead."

Kate reached up for her wife's lips and gave her a brief but tender kiss. "What a wonderful suggestion. What about Angus' parents?"

"Because Angus wasn't involved in causing any of the damage….he was more of a curious onlooker as you can see in a number of the photos where he's simply standing off in the background watching, I haven't suspended him but I made it very clear to him that by not telling anyone and letting Seb's actions go unreported he was in a sense condoning what Seb had done and nothing in the world would ever change for the better if people watched on in silence and did nothing. I think he understood but most of all I think he and his parents were relieved that he wasn't suspended."

"Does Lawrence know about Angus?" Kate asked.

"I didn't tell him and I don't know if Angus has….if so, he hasn't mentioned it to me."

At that moment Lawrence popped his head around the doorway.

"I'm finished the dishes….I'm off upstairs to finish packing."

"Thank you, Lawrence," Caroline replied quietly and then added more lightly as she was determined to be brave about it all, "Don't forget to pack in some clothes and underwear and not just your comics and football magazines."

As Lawrence dashed up the stairs Caroline made to get up.

Looking puzzled Kate asked, "Where are you going?"

"To restack the dishwasher and clean up the kitchen," Caroline answered.

"No, you're not. Leave it."

"He'll have made an awful mess and the dishes will be stacked in the wrong place."

Kate knew the argument to keep Caroline there on the sofa while her kitchen was anything other than pristine and orderly was a lost battle so she conceded defeat.

"Alright….while you do that I'm going to bath Flora and put her to bed. I'll see you upstairs….Don't be too long….you owe me, remember."

She left Caroline with a sultry look that ensured that her wife wouldn't dally in the kitchen any longer than absolutely necessary.

oooOooo

Saturday morning Caroline woke early to the steady pattering of rain. An overcast sky kept the room dark and cozy. Beside her lay her wife still soundly sleeping, the calm, peaceful expression on her beautiful face was enough to melt Caroline's heart and once again remind her how fortunate she was to have this woman in her life.

Despite the weather being perfect for it Caroline was unable to sleep anymore so she decided to sneak into the nursery and tend to Flora before their daughter started making her demands heard thus allowing Kate a well-deserved lie in. However, just as she crept from the bed a series of almighty thuds followed by an emphatic "Bugger!" and, a few seconds later, loud baby cries, put pay to that idea as the peace was now shattered and Kate awoke with a start.

"What's all the noise?" she asked sleepily but there was no one to answer as Caroline had already dashed from the room to check out the disturbance and to comfort their daughter.

Caroline collected Flora from her cot and carried her with her as she went to investigate the ruckus. She found Lawrence at the top of the staircase beside his room looking down forlornly to where his suitcase lay sprawled open at the bottom of the stairs with its contents scattered far and wide.

"What happened?" she asked.

"The suitcase was too heavy to carry so I thought if I slid it down…..but it kind of went out of control," Lawrence explained obviously disappointed that his plan had failed and now he would have to repack everything.

"You don't have to take all of your things right away, you know," Caroline said quietly as she tried to disguise the hurt she was feeling as Lawrence seemed to want to move out of her life entirely and a little too quickly. "I do expect you to come and visit….and stay….from time to time. Why don't you take some things now and if it works out with your dad you can come back and get the rest?"

Seemingly oblivious to his mother's pain, Lawrence replied, "No….Best to get it all done in one trip I think…and besides, it will be fine living with dad….stop worrying."

Kate had come out of the bedroom to check what all the commotion was about and where everyone was. On seeing Caroline talking to Lawrence on the landing outside his room, she had held back and listened. Even though Caroline had done her best to hide it, Kate knew how upset she was about her son leaving and her heart ached to hear Lawrence being so insensitive to his mother about the whole matter. Maybe if Caroline was honest with Lawrence and told him how she felt he might be a little more caring, Kate thought, but that just wasn't the 'Caroline' way…one always needs to put on a brave face no matter if, on the inside, your heart is breaking. Kate couldn't help feeling some personal guilt also for, in spite of copious reassurances from her wife, she couldn't rid herself completely of the sense that perhaps Lawrence wanted to leave so badly because of her and Flora. She desperately hoped that this wouldn't eventually work as a wedge prying their relationship apart.

Grey, gloomy clouds continued to loom over Harrogate for the entire morning and the constant fall of rain maintained a steady beat on the window panes and roof. Like the weather, the mood inside was subdued. In an effort to distract herself, Caroline sat in her study attempting to concentrate on some work she wanted to get out of the way. Kate was in the living room. She had been attending to Flora who was now asleep so she had taken the opportunity to catch up on her reading. Only Lawrence paced about restlessly, checking the driveway every ten minutes or so for any sign of his father.

By midday, when John hadn't shown up despite several unanswered text messages from his son, Caroline phoned him.

Just as she too was about to give up, John finally answered with a cheery and ever hopeful, "Hello Caroline."

"John….Have you forgotten something?" she asked tersely, dampening his jovial spirits.

"No…I don't think so….Have I?" he replied with sudden uncertainty.

Caroline looked over at Kate and gave a dramatic eye roll. John never failed to disappoint her.

"Think harder, John."

There was a moment of studious silence as John racked his brain as to what he could have possibly forgotten. Suddenly it struck him.

"Oh! Lawrence!" he realised out loud. "Yes…right….I didn't forget as such…"

"Right," Caroline answered, her tone telegraphing her scepticism.

"I've been busy….caught up with things…I'm actually on my way over now…"

Caroline could hear the rattle of his car keys as he took them from his pocket.

Before she had to listen to anymore of his rubbish Caroline finished with, "We'll expect to see you soon then," and ended the call.

Seeing his mother on the phone, Lawrence asked, "Was that dad? Is he coming?"

"He's been held up," Caroline replied, struggling to keep the annoyance out of her voice, "but he's on his way now."

Caroline wasn't sure why she hadn't told Lawrence the truth that his father had forgotten him. Come to think of it, she had been lying or covering for John for as long as she could remember when it came to the boys. Maybe she didn't want them to be as disappointed in him as she was or perhaps she blamed herself for marrying and having children to a man she hadn't ever really loved.

Although William had seen through it all and knew his father for who he really was, Lawrence had remained oblivious to all of John's failings and faults, however, Caroline thought, he was about to find out for himself.

It was almost another half an hour before John pulled into 46 Conway Drive. Lawrence, who had been on constant watch since the phone call, opened the door as his dad made a dash through the rain and into the hallway where he stood dripping and bedraggled.

"Hi, Lawrence…Sorry I'm late….I was caught up….Is this all your stuff?" John asked as he noticed the two suitcases and the several boxes stuffed with possessions that surrounded him.

"Yep," Lawrence answered simply not noticing the look of near panic on his father's face.

"Do you need _all_ of this?"

On hearing John's voice, Caroline made her way into the hallway too.

"Can I have a word with you, please?" she asked in a tone that made the question sound more like the instruction it was. "Lawrence, put your things in the car while I talk to your father."

She then led the way towards her study with John in tow.

"What?" he asked tentatively.

"Just a couple of matters I need to address with you," Caroline began in her frighteningly calm but firm manner which immediately had John breaking out into a cold sweat. "First of all, I want to make it very clear in your mind that I am no longer your wife….I am your _ex-_wife…..I am Kate's wife and always will be….Do you fully and completely understand that?"

"Of course," John replied, daring to give her a nervous smile which only served to up Caroline's ire.

"John, I am a lesbian….I like sleeping with women….I always did….it wouldn't matter if you were the last living creature on Earth….I would not touch you let alone sleep with you…so you need to stop calling me your 'wife' especially in front of Kate who I actually _am _married to. Do I make myself perfectly clear?"

"Alright but I …."

"And secondly, this is not your house….Kate and I bought you out. Remember? So there will be no more unannounced visits. If you need to come here for any reason other than to pick up or drop off Lawrence, you call first….even then, you call first. Now is there anything I need to repeat more slowly?"

"Right….Whatever…. Is that all? Can I go now, Miss?" John asked sarcastically playing the part of the naughty schoolboy being dressed down by the Head Teacher.

"Actually, no, it's not," Caroline continued, ignoring his childish antics, "You are to take care of Lawrence. Try and be responsible for once in your life because he's back here if you're not."

Those final words said, Caroline marched out of the study and back into the hallway to see how Lawrence was progressing.

The suitcases were jammed in the boot and the last box had been put in the back seat. With a final hug, a kiss to each damp cheek and a promise extracted to call and visit regularly, Caroline let her son go. She managed to hold back the flood of tears that had been threatening to fall for days until the car was reversing out the drive and the closed door was between them.

oooOooo

The plan had been to set off quite early Sunday morning for Halifax, talk to Gillian and be home by lunch time but, as usual, when small children are involved, things didn't quite run to schedule and it was nearly ten o'clock before Caroline turned onto the track that led up to the farm.

To her great dismay, Caroline parked her Jeep beside John's car.

"_What the hell was he doing here?" she wondered, although she strongly suspected that she already knew the answer._

As Caroline made her way up to the house a very disgruntled John… head down and hands thrust deep in his pockets… marched out of the door and in the direction of his car. Caroline acknowledged him with a friendly "Morning, John" as he passed her. His response was an irritated sneer.

"Where's Lawrence?" she inquired.

"Angus'," he replied reluctantly as he got in the car and slammed the door.

Caroline joined Gillian on the steps where they both watched in amusement as John drove off in a huff.

"What's he doing here?" she asked.

"I'm not entirely sure to be honest….He turned up out of the blue earlier this morning blithering on about something…."

"You and he didn't….you know….?"

"No…no…God no….Shit….I told him he had to stop dropping in like this and that since me and Robbie are getting married he couldn't just keep turning up here."

A small grin played on Caroline's lips. "He's not having much luck at the moment."

Gillian led the way inside to the kitchen where she proceeded to make them each a cup of tea.

"What do you mean?" Gillian asked as she reached for some mugs.

"Well, he's been turning up randomly at my house asking for me for no particular reason that anyone can gather….Kate became fed up the last time and gave him short shrift."

"But you're a lesb….you're married…why would he even bother?"

Caroline pulled out a chair and sat down while the Gillian poured the tea.

"He doesn't get it….he thinks it's a phase or something and that he's still in with a chance…I don't know….and then when he has no luck with me he comes running to you."

"Oh fine….send me your sloppy seconds." Gillian joked as she placed a mug of her strong brew in front of Caroline.

"The man's incorrigible," Caroline said with an exasperated sigh.

oooOooo

A sharp tap on the glass alerted Kate to Celia standing by the window signalling to be let in. She finished securing Flora into her swing seat and then opened the door.

"Morning, Celia. Would you like a cup of tea?" Kate offered.

"That would be wonderful, love," Celia replied as she wandered into the living room in search of her grand-daughter. "I didn't see the Jeep out front so I take it Caroline's off gallivanting across the countryside," Celia mentioned in passing as Kate joined her, a mug of sweet tea in each hand.

"She's gone to visit Gillian….something to do with Gillian and Robbie getting married…"

Kate suddenly stopped there as she realised that maybe she was talking out of turn.

"Gillian and Robbie? First I've heard of it," Celia replied with surprise.

"I'm not sure if I've got the story right," Kate said as she desperately tried to back pedal, "Gillian rang quite late last night and spoke to Caroline….it was all very Secret Squirrel." Thinking that a change of topic might be the best manoeuvre, Kate then asked, "Where's Alan?"

Celia gave a huge sigh and a shake of her head. "He's gone to another one of those blasted football matches….He couldn't get out of it. Gary insisted he went. I told him there was no way I was going…Do you mind if we set up the Scrabble?...Do you have time?"

"Sure," Kate agreed, "Flora seems content for now and Caroline won't be home for another hour or so."

Celia retrieved the tattered box from the shelf under the coffee table. The game had been given to Caroline as a Christmas present when she was twelve and like most things Caroline loved, it had been cherished and well-cared for and although the box had seen better days, the rest of the game was in immaculate condition.

Both women made themselves comfortable as Celia cleared a spot on the coffee table for the board and picked out her tiles from the bag before handing it to Kate.

As they both contemplated possible words from the letters on their rack Celia said casually, "Do you mind if I ask you something?"

Kate, who was caught up in thought in an effort to come up with a word with five vowels and a K and a J, replied, "No….go ahead."

Celia hesitated a moment and then asked, "How did you know you were a lesbian?"

Kate looked up in surprise.

"_Oh, it's going to be one of __**those**__ games of Scrabble," she thought to herself._


	5. Chapter 5

Select Language

Select Language

**_"A Gift of Life"_**

**_Chapter 5_**

"Pass."

"Sorry, love. I didn't mean to put you on the spot. I'm just trying to understand, that's all. We can discuss something else if you like….."

"No, Celia," Kate laughed, "I'm passing on my turn….I can't make anything with this lot of letters."

She tossed five of her seven tiles back into the bag and dipped in for some alternatives, hoping for a more useful selection.

"How did you know you were straight?" she asked Celia as she did so.

While Kate waited for an answer she arranged and re-arranged her new tiles on the rack hoping for a possible word.

Celia placed her tiles on the board across from the centre star to make the word OWL and then totalled her score which she recorded on the notebook that was kept in the box.

"Oh….I don't know….I've never thought about it…I just knew, I guess. It was what felt right…I was only ever interested in boys…..It didn't even occur to me to be interested in girls."

"Exactly," Kate replied.

Celia looked over at Kate, her brow creased in question. "What do you mean?"

"It's exactly the same with being a lesbian…being attracted to girls…It's what feels right….natural…for us…me...Caroline."

"But weren't you married to 'whatshisname'….Richard?" Celia said, quite befuddled by the contradiction.

"It wasn't exactly the 'done' thing back then, was it….being gay? And like all but the bravest of the time I tried to fight the feelings I had for various girls at school then at university. I might be open about who I am now but I wasn't always, especially in the beginning."

"So how did you know you were a lesbian if you hadn't had ….hadn't been with a girl?' Celia asked feeling even less enlightened now than when she had started the conversation.

"I said I _tried_ to fight it….I didn't say I succeeded," Kate replied with a rather cheeky smile as she recalled falling in love with a girl for the first time and those first few innocent fumbles.

"So you did have friends who were girls….who were more than friends…who were _special _friends?"

After some thought Kate placed her tiles, one by one, onto the board, the letter H building down from Celia's OWL….H,O,N,E,S,T,Y…HONESTY. She quickly tallied her score, 25 points for the two new words and a 50 point bonus for using all seven letters.

"That's 75 points," she announced triumphantly.

"What? Oh, yes." Celia brought her mind back to the game and recorded Kate's score.

"There were one or two girls I felt strongly enough about to have sex with them," Kate answered bluntly, secretly hoping in part to shock Celia, "but it was all very clandestine."

To her disappointment, Celia showed no signs of surprise other than to realise that it was now her turn. She pondered her letters for a few moments, shuffling them back and forth until a word formed which she placed on the board. Starting with the S onto the end of what was now HOWL, she built her word downwards from there…S,H,A,M,E…..SHAME on a double word ….and added a decent 31 points to her score.

Intent on continuing her apparent fact-finding mission, Celia asked, "How did you end up with your husband if you were a so-called lesbian?"

Kate scanned the board thoughtfully hoping to find a place for her Q and U. As she searched she considered how much of her past she was willing to reveal to Celia.

"I'd been in a fairly serious relationship with a woman from my university for the better part of a year….I was in love with her or so I thought at the time….and then she….we broke up and I swore off women for the time being. That's when I met Richard who I liked well enough and he liked me. We went out for a while and then he asked me to marry him."

Kate tossed up whether to use her Q or not….Did she use it now while the opportunity was there or save it for later and possibly score more points but also run the risk of being stuck with it at the end?

" I had planned on having children at some stage so I said 'yes'….I thought I would eventually learn to love him but, of course, it didn't happen. I think being married to Richard is what confirmed the fact in my mind that I was a lesbian. I should have loved him, he was a kind, caring man….even though my mother didn't think much of him but only because he wasn't an academic….and I _did_ love him in a way but certainly not in the way that I imagined a married couple loved each other and definitely not in the way that I love Caroline."

Spying the perfect spot, Kate picked up four of her letters, including the Q and the U and placed them on the board running horizontally from the E on Celia's SHAME…..E,Q,U,A,L….EQUAL on a double word score.

"That's 30 points," she informed Celia who begrudgingly added it to Kate's other points while noticing that she was being well and truly beaten at this stage. It was time to up the ante.

oooOooo

Having decided that they had shilly-shallied around for long enough, Gillian asked, "So, Caroline, is this just a social call or is there something more pressing on your mind?"

"No…well, yes, actually there is," Caroline admitted tentatively. Now that she was here she was a little uncertain as to how to broach the subject she had been desperate to discuss.

"Come on then…Spit it out…What's up? What is it?"

Gillian knew perfectly well that Caroline wouldn't have left Kate and Flora behind on a Sunday morning and driven all the way to Halifax for a mere chin wag and the pleasure of her company. She could also hazard a guess as to what was playing on Caroline's mind.

"After last night's phone conversation…you know…where you told me Robbie had asked you to marry him…and you said 'yes'…."

_"Oh, here we go…'Miss I've-Got-to-Interfere-in-Everyone's-Happiness,"_ Gillian thought to herself as she nodded her head to show she was listening and that Caroline had the facts right so far.

"I can't help thinking," Caroline continued, twisting her own recently-acquired wedding ring anxiously around her finger as she searched for the words that would express her misgivings without upsetting Gillian too much and without sounding like a snotty bitch, "maybe you haven't given this whole marriage thing enough thought."

"I like Robbie….I've always liked Robbie," Gillian claimed defensively, "and he likes me….he loves me and besides, he's good for me…he stops me from being such a pillock."

Gillian doubted that Caroline would understand her almost overwhelming need to have someone in her life to reassure her that she was special and that she was loved.

"Okay…I understand but you were the one…that night when we were telling each other things…you were the one who suggested that it would never be a good idea, you and Robbie together….and then you told me why….Remember?"

Gillian concentrated for a moment on a chip on the handle of her mug, her fingers feeling the rough surface beside the smooth, as she contemplated what Caroline had said. It was true. She had said those words and despite her high level of inebriation by that stage of that particular evening, they were probably accurate but was it really too much to ask that just for once in her life she could be loved by someone?….Loved regardless of the fact that she could be somewhat of a challenge at times, for that was what Robbie was offering? He knew her faults and failings and yet he still wanted to marry her…spend the rest of his life with her.

"Alright, yes. I remember…some of it…most of it…but I was very drunk that night so I wasn't making a whole lot of sense…..I want to marry him, Caroline."

A frustrated sigh escaped as Caroline ran a hand through her hair, a gesture she used when she was nearing her wit's end. She found herself at a complete loss as to what to say to make Gillian see sense.

"Right….well, I guess if you can live with it then that's your business," Caroline eventually said, "Can you live with it?

"What?"

"Can you live with someone, sleep with someone knowing you murdered his brother? I don't think I could. I think it's something I would avoid at all cost."

Gillian took a long sip of her tea as she tried to recover from Caroline's rather biting words.

"I told you things that night that I probably, in hindsight, shouldn't have. I stuffed up but I just needed to confide in someone…..lighten the load I had been carrying alone for so long and you were there and we'd had so much to drink….What is it they say about loose lips?"

"That's my whole point," Caroline declared, her tone echoing her growing irritation. "What if one day you decide that you have to tell Robbie? Trust me, it's not easy keeping secrets….lying….to your partner."

"I won't ….I would never tell him, Caroline, I promise."

"How do I know that for sure?... How do I know you won't get drunk and decide to blurt it all out to him?... How can you guarantee that?"

Caroline's voice began to falter. As much as she wanted to support Gillian because, in truth, there were times when she felt she loved her….then, of course, there were the other times when she thought she was a complete plonker….but she hadn't chosen to be a part of this mess and she desperately wished she could turn back the clock to when she didn't know about what had really happened and leave it at that.

Gillian dropped her attention back to the chip on the mug.

"I guess you don't know for sure," Gillian replied in a whisper. "Maybe I should give up drinking and then I won't behave like such a twat and say things….things I don't mean to say."

Caroline spluttered as she tried to hold back a laugh. "Like that's going to happen."

Gillian's face acquired a small smile too, acknowledging that Caroline probably was right to doubt her commitment on that point.

"Look, you do what you want to do….what you think is right," Caroline said more kindly, "but on that night we agreed that we were going to pretend that you never told me about the mur… about Eddie…so the reason I'm here is to tell you….to make it perfectly clear to you that should you ever tell Robbie the truth I am going to stick with that agreement and pretend I know absolutely nothing about it. I almost lost Kate once with the accident…I am not prepared to lose her again because I'm stuck in gaol as an accessory to murder….Do you understand that? I am totally prepared to lie and live with that lie."

Gillian nodded. She did understand.

Although she didn't recall all of that night, she did remember the rush of relief that filled her as she revealed her awful secret to Caroline as they sat on the settee, both three sheets to the wind. As clichéd as it sounds, she did feel as though an enormous weight that she had had to bear alone for so long had been lifted from her shoulders. Then there was the sheer terror that hit her in the sobering light of the following morning when she considered the possibility that Caroline might choose to tell the police. Fortunately, she had said she wouldn't go down that route but then there was the realisation that by doing that, Caroline had unwittingly become inescapably tied up in the murky mire of deception.

Despite professing otherwise, Gillian's life was full of regrets, a thousand things she would change if she had her time again, this was yet another thing to add to that long list.

"Are you angry with me? Do you hate me?" Gillian asked in a small, almost pitiful voice.

The remorse reflected in Gillian's face instantly served to deflate Caroline's annoyance.

"No, I don't hate you. You told me because you needed to but now I need to forget. We're never going to discuss this subject again. As far as I'm concerned I was never told anything about it."

An uneasy silence fell over the pair. All the words Caroline came to say had been said. Gillian didn't blame Caroline for wanting to pretend she didn't know about Eddie's death but suddenly she was by herself again… that lone, helpless insect caught in the cruel web of humiliation and guilt with no one to rescue her, relying solely on her own wit and strength to survive. The weight settled back uncomfortably on her shoulders.

"Can I ask you something?" Gillian finally said, rupturing the quiet.

Caroline nodded reluctantly. "What?"

"That night…"

"I really don't want to talk about it anymore…"

"No, it's not about Eddie….It's about something you said," Gillian explained. "That night when we were talking, you said it had finally dawned on you how precious your relationship with Kate was…"

"Mmmm…..yes, I did," Caroline replied a little sadly.

"Why didn't you do anything about it? Why didn't you fight to get her back?"

Caroline took a deep breath as she remembered the next day and the crushing blow Kate had delivered.

"I did try one more time," Caroline revealed in a subdued whisper as her voice caught, "the next day I went around to hers and apologised again, promising to try harder and I asked for one more chance…."

"What happened?"

"She very politely refused my offer…'no, thank you' were her words….so there was nothing left for me to do but leave…it appeared she didn't want me."

Caroline turned her attention to a knot on the surface of the wooden table, running her finger over it mindlessly as she struggled with the hot, angry tears that that particular memory always evoked. The anger was aimed at herself for being such a coward. What was it she had said to Kate?..."We had something _nice_ together"…..Really? Was that the best she could do?... 'nice'…It wasn't _nice… _it had been wonderful….precious….enthralling….life affirming…. She had loved her so much even back then. Why hadn't she been able to tell her that?

A flush of embarrassment coloured Caroline's cheeks as she remembered how awkward and ill at ease she had been back then about having feelings like that for another woman.

"But she came back for you at Celia and dad's wedding…"

"Yes," Caroline laughed a little hoarsely as her emotions got the better of her, "apparently, I was worth a second chance after all."

As Caroline drew her attention away from the table and gave a weak smile, Gillian couldn't help but notice the tears threatening to drench those bluer than blue eyes.

"I thought I'd lost her for good but she loved me enough to come back for me….and then there was the accident….so you see why I can't possibly contemplate being apart from her again….and then there's our daughter, Flora….I want to be there for her always."

"I understand, Caroline." Gillian reached across the table for Caroline's hand and held it in her own for a brief moment.

To ease the tension and to prevent a full-on outpouring of tears Caroline moved the conversation to less emotive territory.

"Where's Raff, Ellie and Emily Jane?"

"Ellie's doing a shift at Greenhough's, Raff is working weekends at one of Gary's warehouses and Harry is looking after Calamity until Ellie has finished for the day. It's like they say…it actually does take a whole village to raise a child, especially this one.

Picking up the empty mugs and taking them back to the kitchen bench, Gillian asked, "Would you like another?...Or maybe I could find us something a bit stronger?"

Caroline glanced at her watch and frowned. "It's barely midday!"

"I'm joking," Gillian laughed….and she was for the most part.

"Tea will be fine."

For the next half hour or so the two women fell into their usual, more comfortable chit-chat about anything other than Eddie's murder. They swapped baby anecdotes, Caroline told Gillian about Lawrence moving in with John and shared her apprehensions while Gillian expressed her annoyance with Gary who was sticking his nose into things where it wasn't wanted and putting stupid ideas into Raff's head about not staying at school and completing his A levels.

Caroline drank the final mouthful of her tea and then looked at her watch, a little shocked to see how much time she had let pass. She needed to get back to Harrogate or Kate would start to worry.

"I'd better be going. Kate will be wondering what's happened," Caroline explained as she stood to leave.

With those words, she collected her bag and coat and headed for her Jeep. Gillian accompanied her.

Before she opened the car door Caroline turned to Gillian and wrapped her in a reassuring hug.

"Do whatever you think is right for you and take care," she whispered before kissing Gillian's cheek.

"I will…and don't worry, it will all be fine," Gillian replied although her words didn't exactly set Caroline's mind entirely at rest.

Gillian shook her head in bewilderment as she watched Caroline drive off down the track towards the main road. Sometimes she found herself loving the woman to bits and yet, at other times, she thought she was a complete bitch. Today had been a decided mixture of both.

oooOooo

"But it's not normal is it really….women with women, men with men?" Celia stated, confident in her ignorance, as she put down her next word…..SEXUAL on a triple word score for a respectable 39 points.

If there was anything Celia could have said to infuriate the usually unflappable, passive Kate, those very words were the ones. Despite the immediate desire to reach over and shake the bigotry out of the old woman, Kate held her tongue and counted to ten and then some, thinly veiling her incensed silence as deliberations over her next move. Once she had her wrath back under some control, Kate unfurled the tight fists her fingers had formed and added an I,T and Y to the end of Celia's word to make SEXUALITY on a triple word for an impressive 57 points.

"I find 'normal' to be very over-rated and rather dull," Kate replied in a tone that was much more serious now, reflecting her annoyance at such inane thinking, " and exactly who is it that gets to decide what is and isn't 'normal' anyway? Everyone has their own version of 'normal' based on their own experiences of life….my idea of 'normal', Celia, is different to your idea of 'normal'….Caroline once told me that she thought it was 'normal' for a married couple not to talk to each other unless it was absolutely necessary because that was her experience when she was growing up…..'normal' is a very subjective concept."

"What's she doing talking to you about those sorts of things?" Celia spluttered, ignoring Kate's argument. It always upset her to know her dirty laundry was being aired.

"She's my partner…my wife…we talk about things although she told me that a long time ago now but it doesn't matter when it happened, the point is that we all have our own variation of 'normal' although, for some unknown reason, straight people seem to think that they are superior and are the ones who should set the standard. Everyone should just accept that love is love and acknowledge that we get to love each other best one essence to another, gender notwithstanding."

Momentarily at a loss for words as she reflected bitterly on that part of her life she had wasted with her philandering husband….the years that she had sacrificed for the sake of appearance and pride….years that were impossible to reclaim, Celia dithered with her tiles, unsure which ones to use and where to put them until she finally settled on DECEIVE for 26 points.

Looking at the score, Celia could see she was losing ground. She desperately needed a big score to catch up.

"What would you do if Flora decided she was a lesbian?'

"I'd be happy for her…over the moon," Kate replied instantly and honestly, "and I'd want her to know she could be herself without ever having to consider disguising it. I don't want her having to waste part of her life, like Caroline and I did, attempting to come to terms with the way the outside world perceives those who dare to vary from the usual and familiar path until finally realising that it is the racists and bigots with the problem and not us…not her."

"But her life will be so much harder if she's a lesbian as well as being of col….." Celia's words trailed off but Kate still heard them, however, she chose to ignore them for now….She'd deal with one prejudice at a time.

"Only if this homophobic culture is allowed to continue. If we're ever going to change it we need to come out of the shadows and make ourselves visible. If Flora is a lesbian then I want her to see it as a gift to be opened and explored rather than something she needs to hide. Life as an open lesbian can be hard but it is harder still if you are always trying to hide who you really are from those you care about….friends…family. Heterosexuality is common, Celia, but it isn't compulsory."

The next dozen or so turns were played out in thoughtful silence as each woman carefully considered their moves, neither not wanting to concede ground to the other.

"I guess I just don't understand the attraction to other women," Celia finally persisted as she added a B, I and an A to an available S to make BIAS. The board was filling up and letters were running low.

"And if you're straight, you probably never will and that's not what you need to understand anyway….what you do need to understand and appreciate is that everyone is different and we need to celebrate that rather than condemn those who aren't in the majority. We need to stop perpetuating this discrimination that makes so many lives unnecessarily miserable," Kate explained patiently, her tide of anger gradually ebbing. She almost felt sorry for Celia and those like her, for their prejudices blinkered them from experiencing the absolute joy of diversity.

"Oh, I'm definitely not a lesbian," Celia stated confidently.

"I don't think you should knock something until you've tried it, Celia," Kate replied defiantly but with a cheeky smile in an attempt to lighten the mood.

With a smile of her own similar to that of a snake entering a hen house, Celia picked up all seven tiles and placed them on the board….MONKEYS on a triple word….110 points!

"I don't know about that, love. I've never tried shooting myself in the foot but I'm fairly certain I wouldn't like it," Celia retorted with a gloat.

It always felt like she made two steps forward and one step back with Celia, Kate thought as she looked down at the board for a place for her two remaining tiles. She let out a long sigh of exasperation as she placed the letters P and A in the only available spot to make the word PAL…6 points. She'd given it her best shot but she wasn't sure it had been enough.

While Celia busied herself totalling the scores Kate caught sight of the front of the Jeep through the room's large window as Caroline pulled into the driveway.

_"Good," Kate thought to herself, "reinforcements have arrived and not a moment too soon."_

A few minutes later she heard the clatter of the car keys being tossed into the bowl on the hallway table and the clip of the heels of Caroline's boots on the wooden floor. It wasn't long before Caroline, herself, joined them in the living room.

She greeted both Kate and her mother with a kiss on the cheek before sidling up on the lounge beside her wife.

"I missed you," she said softly before placing an extra kiss on her Kate's lips.

Kate rewarded her with a wonderful smile which never failed to send Caroline's heart soaring into the stratosphere.

"How's Gillian?" Kate inquired.

"She's fine….a bit fed up with Gary interfering in their life but apart from that she's good."

"Are she and Robbie really getting married?" Celia piped up from the ridges.

Caroline shot Kate a quick glance that asked, _"Did you tell her?"_

Kate gave an almost imperceptible nod and mouthed a 'sorry'.

"It would seem that way but you never really know with Gillian, do you," Caroline replied without giving too much away.

Not wanting to discuss Gillian and Robbie any further at this stage, Caroline diverted the conversation.

"Where's Flora?'

On cue, small cries which threatened to rapidly turn into much louder ones began to emanate from the swing seat where Flora had been sleeping contentedly up until now. All three women made moves to see to her, however, Celia got there first.

"I'll take her if you like. She's probably due for a nappy change and a cuddle from her grandmother."

Both Kate and Caroline slipped each other an amused, sidelong glance at Celia's use of the word 'grandmother'. Things were definitely progressing, Caroline dared to think.

As Celia tottered off with Flora in her arms towards where the nappies were kept, conversing with her grandchild all the way, Caroline looked down at the scrabble board with its myriad of words and, with a certain amount of trepidation for she knew how intense their games could get, she asked, "Did you win?"

"I don't know," Kate replied, "I thought I was winning there for a while but in the end I'm not sure."

Caroline cupped her wife's face in her hands and turned her blue eyes to Kate's brown expressing her complete understanding of Kate's confusion as she often felt the same after prolonged periods in Celia's presence. Then she did the most normal of things for two people truly in love, she drew their lips together in the most affectionate and tender of kisses.

oooOooo

"What's wrong?" Kate asked as she watched Caroline flit busily from the stove to the refrigerator and then back to the stove where she gingerly tasted the contents of a pot, took a moment to consider and then added some more of something else, stirred and taste-tested again, all the while with a frown pressed on her face.

"Nothing…I'm fine," she replied uncertainly, "why do you ask?"

"You're hopping around the kitchen like a cat on a hot tin roof and looking as though your life depends on this meal….You're not nervous are you?"

"No…well, maybe just a little," Caroline confessed.

Bemused by all the fuss, Kate replied, "Why would you be nervous? It's only Lawrence and his girlfriend coming to dinner not the Queen or have we invited her too and nobody thought to tell me? Do I need to go and dress up? Polish up the tiaras? "

Caroline gave her wife a playful glare, knowing full well that Kate was enjoying teasing her just a little too much.

"She might as well be coming for all the trouble I'm going to….but no, it's only Lawrence and his girlfriend."

Baffled at times by how easily the super-efficient and well-organised Dr McKenzie-Dawson could be unnerved by what seemed like much less daunting tasks than running a prestigious school, Kate couldn't help an amused chuckle.

"Don't make fun of me," Caroline begged, feigning hurt feelings, "All I want to do is make a good impression for Lawrence's sake…It will be awkward enough for him having to introduce his lesbian mum and her partner so I would like everything else to be perfect."

Kate's expression became more serious as she moved in on her wife and wrapped her in a loose embrace.

"It will be perfect," Kate assured her in an earnest whisper, "you're perfect." Kate placed a light kiss on Caroline's forehead, tasting the saltiness of the fine sheen of perspiration that had built up there from slaving over a hot stove and from her anxiety. "We are perfect…so stop worrying. Lawrence will survive."

For the first few weeks after Lawrence had moved in with his father, Caroline had seen and heard very little from her prodigal son other than the occasional glimpses of him at school and one or two brief phone calls which she suspected John may have encouraged him to make.

Although being set adrift so entirely by her own flesh and blood cut her to the quick, she was determined to wait it out and let Lawrence make the first move. He had to want to see her and speak to her rather than be forced into it which would only succeed in building up resentment.

Gradually, however, as the novelty of living with John wore off and the reality of life with his dad set in, the phone calls to his mum began to come and were soon more frequent and longer followed by what developed into regular visits which eventually turned into the more-than-occasional weekend stay at his mum's house. Bit by bit, Caroline and her son rebuilt and improved their relationship.

Of equal noteworthiness was Lawrence's change of attitude, for the better, towards both Kate and Flora which was an essential ingredient if he and his mother were ever to be fully reconciled. Gone, it seemed, were the snide looks and comments, the prejudices and the blame. Even more surprising was his change of heart towards Flora. Of late he would often choose to have her with him and would voluntarily spend time entertaining her or soothing her when she was disgruntled over something or hurt. Above all, however, there seemed to be a final and genuine acceptance of his mother and Kate as a married couple.

It hadn't been a sudden change but it had happened more quickly than Caroline had expected and she wasn't exactly sure what to attribute it to….Was it just a matter of maturity? Had John said something? She doubted it…but what she was certain of was that no matter the cause she was very grateful. It had been such a long time since they had been so close. For Caroline it felt like another piece of her life's puzzle had fallen into its proper place….now, if only she could get her mother to come onboard more fully.

On the previous Wednesday afternoon, after what had been a long and tedious school day for both of them, Lawrence had ducked up to his mother's office where he found her engaged in a conversation on the phone. Not wanting to interrupt, he was about to turn and leave when Caroline caught his eye, gave him a smile and motioned for him to come in and sit down which he did, making himself comfortable in the chair on the other side of her desk.

Lawrence hadn't been long in his seat when he heard his mother tell the person at the other end of the line that a rather urgent matter had just come up and she would have to go and see to it immediately. Lawrence contrived a look of shock at her obvious lie which she answered with a guilty smile.

"What?" she retorted putting aside her phone, her face slightly colouring at being caught out by her son. "I had to exaggerate the truth or I'd still be on the phone a week from next Tuesday listening to the woman prattle on….You did me a favour…Now, to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?"

It was Lawrence's turn to blush.

"I was wondering if I could come over for dinner on Friday night…."

"Of course you can…that would be wonderful…"

"Would it be alright if I brought ….a friend?" he continued a little hesitantly.

His sudden coyness piqued Caroline's curiosity.

"Sure….Angus?"

"No…"

There was a long pause while Lawrence gathered his courage and hoped like hell his mother wouldn't fuss.

"A girl….my girlfriend….Lily….Lily McHenry-Jones."

Lawrence's cheeks were now flaming a deep shade of red.

Caroline wasn't sure she had successfully hidden her surprise. She was aware that at some stage she would have to deal with this sort of thing with her second son but amidst everything else it had been forgotten.

The name 'Lily McHenry-Jones' rang a bell with Caroline and, after some thought, she was able to match a face to it. The girl was in the same year level as Lawrence at Sulgrave Heath but doing different subjects for the most part. Caroline had had no reason to have to deal with her on an individual basis so that was about her sum total of knowledge of her. Like any mother, she would have dearly liked to have asked Lawrence some questions….How long had they been an item? How did they meet?... but instinct told her that an interrogation would not be well-received so she refrained. Her inquisitiveness could wait until Friday night.

"Of course….Does she have any special dietary requirements? Vegetarian? Allergies? Likes? Dislikes? Just so I know what to serve for dinner," Caroline inquired.

"I don't know….I'm not sure," Lawrence replied, a little thrown that that was the first question that came to his mother's mind, "I'll ask her and let you know…..Dad could drop us off at about 6:30pm."

"That will be fine…perfect."

"Is that all you wanted to know?" Lawrence asked, doubtful that he would get out of it that easily.

To his surprise she nodded and answered, "Yes," and then smiled and added, "for now."

With the arrangements made, Lawrence stood and picked up his schoolbag. Just as he was about to turn to leave there came the loud blast of a horn from the quadrangle outside Caroline's office. Neither of them needed to look out the window to know it was John signalling his growing impatience at having to wait for Lawrence.

"I'd better go," he responded, again colouring with the embarrassment of it all. "I'll see you on Friday night."

oooOooo

The comfort and security she felt from being held in her wife's arms helped to gradually dispel some of Caroline's pent up tension.

"I know I shouldn't be nervous…I know it's ridiculous...I'll stop….Everything is almost ready now anyway…Did you finish setting the table?"

Kate knew that Caroline wouldn't be able to fully relax until everything was completed to her satisfaction and the evening had started.

"It's nearly done," Kate replied, "I just came in to fetch some glasses."

With a final kiss to the tip of her wife's perfect nose, Kate went to the cabinet where the wine glasses were kept while Caroline finished seeing to the meal.

Despite the 6:30pm arrangement, it was almost seven o'clock when Caroline heard the crunch of tyres on the gravel as John's car came up the drive. She did a quick double check that all was in place, alerted Kate to the arrival and then went to greet her son and his girlfriend. Before she had reached the door she came across Lawrence in the hallway. He had already let himself and Lily in and was in the process of hanging up their coats.

"Sorry we're late. Dad lost the car keys so we had to look for them," Lawrence explained apologetically.

As he was about to continue on and make the necessary introductions Caroline noticed that John was making his way towards the house too. She quickly excused herself and dashed the remainder of the distance to the door, arriving just in time to block his entry.

"Sorry we're late….misplaced the car keys," John said with a smarmy smile.

"So Lawrence said," Caroline responded in a tone that chilled the air between them.

"Not to worry, these things happen," he replied in an effort to brush the matter of his tardiness aside, "Here's a bottle of wine to have with dinner."

John presented her with a bottle of his favourite Merlot while making another attempt at an endearing smile as he went to enter the house only to find that his path remained blocked.

"Thank you," Caroline said with formal politeness as she accepted the gift. "We'll see you on Sunday at four o'clock then shall we when you come to pick up Lawrence?….Night…..Take care."

With the bottle of wine firmly in her hand, Caroline closed the door, leaving a dejected John no choice other than to slink back to his car and depart.

While Caroline had been making sure that their evening wasn't gatecrashed by her recalcitrant ex-husband Lawrence and Lily had followed the wonderful aroma of the food into the kitchen where they had been joined by Kate who was now nursing Flora. It was obvious that introductions had been done as the small group was now having an animated conversation of which Flora was the centre.

Rather than join them, Caroline remained in the doorway looking on at the happy interaction, the sight filling her with both relief and joy. The face she'd mentally matched with Lily's name had been the right one, she noticed. As Lily stood beside him Caroline could see that she was almost as tall as her son and quite slender although still sufficiently endowed with feminine curves. Long, flowing chestnut hair framed a heart-shaped face of which a broad mouth with full lips and large, hazel eyes were the prominent features. Her olive complexion was quite flawless and bore only a touch of make-up. Caroline thought her quite attractive although not in the conventional manner….there was a rather exotic look about her which was further emphasised by her unique dress sense….definitely someone with a creative eye for fashion and accessorising.

Eventually Caroline quietly slipped into the room, sidled up beside her wife and daughter and before she could help herself, had placed a brief kiss on Kate's mouth. In an attempt not to make things more difficult for Lawrence she had promised herself to keep public displays of affection to a minimum, however, to her relief, the gesture had gone virtually unnoticed by all except Kate who subtly drew the back of her hand along her wife's cheek.

Caroline caught Lawrence's eye and gave him a look that begged for an introduction. In response Lawrence drew their attention away from Flora for the moment by clasping Lily's hand.

"Lily, this, as you already know, is my mum, Caroline….Kate and mum are married as you also probably know…Mum, this is Lily….Lily McHenry-Jones."

With a warm smile that showed off dimples in each cheek, Lily reached out for Caroline's hand and shook it confidently while Caroline tried not to be too astonished at Lawrence's straightforwardness. Not only did her son not flinch at divulging that bit of information, if Caroline wasn't mistaken, she would have gone so far as to say he was rather enthusiastic about it. What was going on, she wondered to herself?

"Congratulations," Lily replied sincerely, "you and Miss McKen…. Kate make a lovely couple….a lovely trio if you add little Flora."

"Thank you," replied Caroline and Kate simultaneously.

"Dinner's ready to be served and will be getting cold if we don't make a move," Caroline then announced, "Lawrence, will you show Lily into the dining room, please."

Although the conversation at the dinner table was a little restrained to start with as everyone tried to make a suitable impression, as the meal progressed inhibitions soon freed up and discussion began to flow easily.

At one point during the meal Lily asked Kate and Caroline about their wedding day. Kate decided to field that question for despite it being a wonderful day, it had been marred to a certain extent for Caroline by her mother's failure to put aside her own concerns and attend one of the most important days of her daughter's life. During the discussion it also came to light that Lawrence hadn't been present at the wedding either much to Lily's disgust. He sheepishly defended his actions with the excuse that he had to take care of his gran who had had an upset. Not wanting to spoil the evening, Caroline let him get away with that explanation just that once.

In order to veer the discussion in a different direction, Caroline asked Lily what her aspirations were at the end of the school year which was rapidly approaching when, like Lawrence, she would be finished at Sulgrave Heath.

Lily took another mouthful of food and chewed it thoughtfully as she decided on an answer.

"I think I'll probably follow in the footsteps of one of my parents but I'm not sure which one yet," she finally replied. "Sandy is into fashion designing and I really like clothes and designing new outfits. I could go to university and study design but I consider it more of a hobby than a job although it can be very lucrative if you're talented enough."

"Lily's very artistic," Lawrence supplied quite proudly.

"But Pat's a mechanic and he's shown me all sorts of things….I love to tinker with engines and the like…he's said that he'll help me if I want to become a mechanic…but I haven't really decided what to do yet. Maybe I'll travel and see the world for a bit first while I decide."

"Her marks are very good…she's really brainy," Lawrence added enthusiastically and to Lily's considerable embarrassment, "she could do anything she wanted to."

It was quite plain to both Caroline and Kate that Lawrence was totally smitten with the lovely Lily.

Once dinner was finished Lawrence and Lily offered to help clear away the dishes but their offer was refused so they excused themselves and headed for the living room where Lawrence set up the Xbox.

With no particular reason to hurry, Kate and Caroline lingered at the table imbibing the wine compliments of John and carrying on with their own more personal conversation mostly about their two young visitors. Both women agreed that Lily seemed to be very intelligent and sensible and that Lawrence was quite infatuated with her. Could she be the reason for his recent change of heart they each wondered aloud?

It was quite a while later that they finally made a move from the table; Caroline to clear away the dishes and Kate to go and check on Flora who was asleep in her cot.

As Caroline returned to the dining table to collect the final few dishes she noticed a set of headlights shining up the driveway.

"That will be my parents," Lily called out from the living room, at the same time not letting herself be too distracted from the game as she was in the throes of beating Lawrence once again.

Caroline placed the last of the dirty dishes in the sink, dried her hands and headed for the door. When she opened it she was a bit disconcerted to see two men standing on her steps.

"Oh, hello…..Dr McKenzie-Dawson?" the taller of the two inquired.

"Yes," Caroline replied a little dubiously as both men smiled at her.

"Is Lily here?" the other man asked and then finally noticing Caroline's puzzled expression thought to introduce himself. "I'm Patrick and this is Sandon….Pat and Sandy McHenry-Jones….we're Lily's dads."


	6. Chapter 6

**_"A Gift of Life"_**

**_Chapter 6_**

"Come in…Come in," Caroline finally managed, giving the two men the benefit of a generous smile which she hoped would more than make up for her being caught short for words or, more accurately, left gawping like a fish out of water gasping for air, by her younger son's latest surprise, a girlfriend with same-sex parents. She then stood aside so they could enter.

"I'm Caroline….Lawrence's mum," she said by way of introduction now that she had collected her wits, "and my wife, Kate, should be down in a moment. She's upstairs at present seeing to our baby daughter, Flora."

"Oh, you have a baby girl! How marvellous," the delighted Sandon cooed as he and his partner followed Caroline inside. "I love babies…they're so much fun….aside from the dirty nappies, the sleep deprivation and the crying, that is…it's so wonderful watching them grow and achieve each milestone….their first smile….their first tooth…their first step." He paused for a moment as they reached the living room where Lawrence and Lily were still steeped in competition and then added tentatively, "Their first foray into love."

The clutch of doting parents stood in the living room doorway looking in at their respective offspring, each agreeing that surely it hadn't been that long ago that they were still tucking them into bed and reading them bedtime stories and now, here they were, preparing to go off into the world on their own, full of enthusiasm and the naive certainty that they knew all there was to know about life.

Oblivious to the presence of their parents and their lamenting, Lawrence and Lily remained fully-focussed on the television screen and the fiercely contested virtual war they were waging on each other.

"Would you like a glass of wine or a cup of tea before we interrupt them?" Caroline offered as she guided her guests into the kitchen which was often the centre for comfortable conversation. She then gestured for them to pull up a kitchen stool each, which they did.

"Usually I'd love a glass of wine but I'm doing the driving tonight so I'll be responsible and have a cup of tea if you don't mind," Sandon replied regretfully.

"Same, thanks," said Patrick.

As Caroline busied herself filling the kettle and collecting some clean mugs Kate's voice came echoing along the hallway.

"Who was that at the …..?" She stopped her question there as, on entering the kitchen, she realised that they now had visitors. As to who they were, she wasn't sure.

Caroline reached out a hand to Kate and tugged the space between them closed.

"This is my wife, Kate," Caroline announced with quiet but obvious pride. "Kate, this is Patrick…Pat." Caroline's slight nod indicated towards the shorter of the two men and the one Lily appeared to resemble with the same heart-shaped face, doe-like, hazel eyes, a full mouth and olive complexion… again, the unconventional good looks. His hair, however, was much wavier and several shades darker than Lily's chestnut mane…almost black.

Patrick stood, reached over and with his large, outstretched hand took Kate's own slender one and shook it politely. She noted the roughness of his calloused skin as it pressed against the smoothness of her own hand.

"And this is Sandon…Sandy," Caroline continued.

In contrast, Sandon's greeting revealed hands that were delicately formed with long, fine fingers the nails of which were manicured with neat precision and skin which was supple and heavily dusted with pale freckles. He gently pressed Kate's dark hand between both of his as he moved towards her and placed a light kiss on her cheek.

Kate cast Caroline a questioning glance. The penny hadn't dropped. She still had no idea why there were two men in their kitchen, one of whom was still holding her hand and had, in fact, now clasped one of Caroline's hands as well while he gazed from one woman to the other, almost agog.

"Is everything alright?" Caroline asked. The man's attention was starting to make her feel a little self-conscious…a bit like an insect under a microscope.

"You'll have to excuse my partner," an amused Patrick explained, "for although he's as gay as a row of pink satin tents on a university campus, he has a fine appreciation for beautiful women….you should have seen him when he first met Naomi Campbell…his jaw literally hit the ground and his knees trembled….however, Sandy, staring is not acceptable."

"You're right," the other man acknowledged, "I do apologise but can I just say, in my defence, that I am totally mesmerised by what an absolutely fabulous couple you two women make…there's an intangible chemistry….some secret _je ne sais pas quoi_."

With a feather-light kiss to the back of each woman's hand, the enamoured Sandon finally released his hold.

Caroline could feel the hot flush of embarrassment on her cheeks at such an effusive compliment whereas Kate, she noticed, took it in her stride and simply responded with her wonderful smile and that shy drop of her eyes.

In an attempt to deflect any more attention from herself, Caroline finished off the introductions.

"Pat and Sandy are Lily's parents."

"Oh…. How lovely to meet you," Kate replied, hiding her surprise, if indeed there was any, far more effectively than Caroline had. "Lily did tell us a little bit about you. Patrick, you're a mechanic and Sandon…Sandy, you're a fashion designer of some repute, right?"

Sandy smiled his affirmation.

"She didn't mention that she had two….." Kate's voice trailed off as she realised she may have talked herself into an awkward corner.

"Dads," Patrick said, finishing her sentence for her.

Kate nodded. "Sorry."

"It's alright….she forgets that it's not what people expect and so she doesn't mention it or give folk warning…"

"She shouldn't have to," Kate replied, thinking of the recent conversation she'd had with Celia over their game of Scrabble, "especially in this household."

As Caroline fussed with the final stages of making the tea, Kate was left to carry the brunt of the entertaining for the moment but it wasn't too difficult as Sandon seemed to be one for a bit of a natter. When Kate casually mentioned that Lily had expressed an interest in following him into fashion designing, she unwittingly opened a Pandora's Box of tales and anecdotes about his career in the industry which he recounted with great enthusiasm and a sense of humour as dry as the Sahara. He regaled them with several stories of both the glamorous and the not-so-glamorous side of it all, including the occasional wardrobe malfunction, and had the two women, in turn, intrigued and in stitches with his recollections that continued long after Caroline had served the cups of tea.

Well aware of his partner's expert ability to dominate a conversation if given the slightest encouragement, Patrick made the most of Sandon's brief pause to sip his tea to change the subject away from the fashion stories (which he had heard in all their various forms dozens of times over) to ask, "How long have you been married?"

Caroline jumped in with the answer. "Not long….since March….a little over three months. We wanted to get married before Kate gave birth to Flora to make it all….you know…. official."

"Oh, how wonderful! Newlyweds! Sandon exclaimed with excitement.

The term made Kate and Caroline both laugh and blush for although they were only newly married, with all they had been through it often felt like they had already known each other for a lifetime, however, it was true to say that they both looked forward to and treasured the thought of a lasting future together….'Forever' had been the promise they had made to each other.

Sandon raised his mug of tea. Patrick followed his lead.

"Here's to Kate and Caroline. May they have a long and blissful marriage."

Kate and Caroline joined them in 'chinking' their mugs of tea to the happy salutation.

The topic of weddings and marriage continued with Patrick and Sandon revealing that they had been together for almost twenty-one years and although they hadn't needed a formal ceremony to be fully committed to each other, they agreed that a wedding would be the perfect excuse for a party and it would serve to both celebrate their long term coupling and take advantage of the new laws that finally, although well overdue, acknowledged the equality of same-sex relationships.

However, that was where much of the agreement ended. Whereas Patrick preferred the idea of an intimate and informal affair much along the same vein as Caroline and Kate's wedding, Sandon had his heart set on a large and lavish event to which they would invite virtually anyone and everyone they had ever known. Although a specific location was not yet decided upon, it would need to be held somewhere suitably ostentatious with magnificent decorations, serving only the finest of food and, of course, with free-flowing champagne. The dress code would be formal but, more importantly, flamboyant and celebratory. Sandon had even sketched out the initial designs of their own wedding suits which he had excitedly shared with his partner. However, they weren't received with quite the desired amount of enthusiasm but what more could be expected from a man who was most comfortable in a greasy pair of overalls. Sandon was firmly of the opinion that if they were to go to all the trouble of having a wedding they ought to do it properly and make it an occasion to remember. It was obvious that there was quite a bit of compromising needed before any wedding was to go ahead here.

"How old is your beautiful daughter? Flora?" Sandon inquired.

"Flora Grace."

"I'm assuming she's beautiful. How could she be anything else with such a gorgeous mother? I can't wait to see her."

"Just over three months," Kate replied quietly, a little overcome by the man's charm but also subdued by the reminder of what she had been through. Unfortunately and, at times, overwhelmingly, Flora's birthday would always be cause to bring up unwanted thoughts of how close she had come to losing her own life as well as that of her precious child. Kate hoped that with the passing of time it would all become less painful…less horrific…but at the moment the memories lay on the surface like a layer of new skin, fully exposed and easily bumped or bruised.

Wanting to explain the sensitive situation before either man could say anything that would unintentionally upset Kate, Caroline said, "She was born the day after our wedding….Kate was involved in a rather serious car accident….a hit and run…" Caroline's heart clenched tightly in her chest as the image of the two solemn-faced police officers standing ominously on the doorstep came flooding back to her. Before she continued she fixed her gaze on the benchtop as tears threatened. "The doctors were forced to deliver the baby by C-section as both lives hung in the balance….the situation was precarious for some time…"

The two guests had gone very quiet and as Caroline looked up at them gamely she could see in their expressions their shock at the unexpected news as well as the possibility of what could have easily been a far less fortunate outcome. Sandon hid a trembling lip behind his hand.

So as not to put a total dampener on what had been a pleasant chat, Caroline added more brightly, "But they're both as tough as old boots and have pulled through to make a full recovery….they're as good as new."

Before anyone could dwell any further on the matter, Lawrence and Lily sauntered into the kitchen, curious as to how their parents were getting along. As Lily greeted each father with a loose embrace and a kiss to the cheek, Caroline took the opportunity to catch Kate's attention.

"Are you alright?" she mouthed, concerned that the mention of the accident may have distressed her wife for, although the physical scars had healed well enough, the emotional wounds were still red raw and painful to the touch.

Kate nodded her head and gave Caroline an unconvincing smile.

With her arms still looped affectionately around her father's neck, Lily said, "I hope you haven't been torturing these poor women with your stories, Dad….they're looking a little glassy-eyed."

"That's because they're tired of waiting for you and Lawrence to stop blowing each other up long enough for us to take you home so, now that you have, we should get going and let these lovely ladies retire for the night," Sandon retaliated good-humouredly, "get your things and we'll be on our way."

Before Lily turned to fetch her bag she asked, "Dad, would it be okay if Lawrence comes over tomorrow afternoon to study? We have exams all week and we both need to revise."

Not quite believing what she was hearing, Caroline looked at Kate for confirmation. Kate looked back at Caroline with the same level of doubt. Neither of them were sure they had heard correctly and wore the same amazed expression at the idea of Caroline's less-than-studious son voluntarily spending a Saturday afternoon revising for exams. They then both looked over at this person who claimed to be Lawrence but he deliberately avoided their gaze. However, a tell-tale blush coloured his face as he read their thoughts and acknowledged the unusualness of the occurrence. Caroline had to admit to liking Lily more and more.

"Of course he can," both men responded.

Caroline and Kate walked their guests to the door where they shared parting handshakes and polite kisses to the cheek as well as promises to catch up again soon….Dinner one evening perhaps? Sandon and Patrick knew of a divine little restaurant which they desperately wanted to share with them. It would mean having to find a baby-sitter but maybe Celia and Alan would oblige. They hadn't been out for dinner since before their wedding….maybe they would spoil themselves and make a night of it.

The two women remained on the steps to see off their guests while Lawrence walked with them to their car, graciously opening the door for his girlfriend. After a chaste kiss, Lily secured herself in the back seat while Lawrence closed the door then stood at the top of the drive watching them leave. As the car reversed out onto Conway Drive, Kate and Caroline turned and went inside again, leaving Lawrence to drop the latch on the door as he came in.

"I think I'll go up and check on Flora and then go to bed," Kate called out as she watched Caroline make a bee-line for the kitchen.

"I'm just going to put those last few mugs in the dishwasher and turn it on then I'll join you," Caroline explained.

"Don't be long. Five minutes."

oooOooo

In the darkness, only one or two hours past midnight, Caroline's sleep was disturbed by a sudden jolt and restless movements beside her in the bed. Sensing that something was not quite right, she roused herself more fully so she could determine what the problem was. As things came into focus as well as they could in the shadowy blackness of the bedroom, Caroline instinctively reached out for her partner and floated a hand along the length of Kate's body. She could feel her wife's knees braced close to her chest and her hands tucked into tight fists. Her frame was folded into a tense ball, a vulnerable soul flinched into its protective shell.

As Caroline lay listening, she picked up on the sound of quiet sobs coming from her partner.

"Kate….Kate…" she whispered, "are you alright? What's wrong?"

There was no response other than the sobs becoming more forceful, more fraught. Caroline could only assume that Kate was still asleep and having a bad dream and was unsure as to what to do exactly.

Gently so as not to startle, Caroline ran a hand across her partner's cheek noticing as she did so, the wet track of tears. Again she whispered her wife's name until she gradually coaxed Kate from her troubled sleep.

"I think you were having another nightmare," Caroline said as Kate slowly entered consciousness and automatically swiped the streak of tears with the back of her hand.

Caroline could feel the nod of Kate's head against the pillow.

When Kate first arrived home from the hospital, nightmares had been a regular and rather disturbing occurrence but over the ensuing months the severity and number of bad dreams had waned significantly. However, tonight's discussion, Caroline guessed, had brought it all to the surface again.

"Was it the same dream?" she asked.

"No," Kate murmured hoarsely, her throat still constricted from crying. She gave a small cough to clear it. "It was different…not as awful….just sad."

"Do you want to tell me?"

For Kate, the most fearful thing about this dream was that she wasn't certain whether it was simply a creation of her mind or an actual memory from the accident. Everything seemed so crystal clear….the sounds…the smell…the images… but was it really possible?

After a moment's hesitation she nodded again and began speaking in small, quiet voice.

"That night…the night of the accident… after the doctors had delivered Flora and operated on me…I remember being there in the ward thinking that it wasn't so bad and that I felt perfectly fine….."

"You were unconscious and had been given a large dose of pain killers….your body was in shock."

"And maybe that explains what I saw but it seemed so real….I looked around the room and realised that rather than lying in the bed I was floating above it all but I could see myself…my body…still lying there connected by a network of tubes to all these machines that were relieving my pain and silently monitoring my every breath…my every heart beat….and you were there sitting beside me…holding my hand, your eyes red and swollen from crying….I tried to touch you and tell you I was alright but I couldn't reach you…I was steadily floating further and further away…then there was the sudden, urgent sound of alarms beeping….and you left me…you walked away….no, you _ran_ away."

"I went to get help," Caroline whispered hoarsely choking back the emotions, "those were the alarms on the monitors…your poor body was failing…I thought you were going to die….I didn't leave you."

Caroline brushed aside a stray, dark braid with fingers that trembled slightly and pressed her lips against Kate's mouth.

"I came back," Caroline replied softly as Kate slowly relaxed and unfurled her body, wrapping her legs around Caroline's as she did so, pulling her in closer. The thin fabric of their clothing and their skin all melting away as they melded, safe and secure. The sound of Caroline's voice and the reassurance of her words working as a salve on Kate's doubts. "I would…will never leave you."

oooOooo

Lawrence sat on the kitchen stool mechanically spooning cereal into his mouth at regular intervals, his thoughts a million miles away….Somewhere on a cloud numbered nine, Caroline suspected as she prepared some toast and tea for herself and Kate.

"She's very lovely," Caroline remarked.

"Huh? What?" Lawrence spluttered as his daydreaming was interrupted.

"Lily…she's lovely."

"Oh. Yeah," he replied trying to sound nonchalant about the whole subject and not wanting to encourage too many questions.

"How did you meet her?" Caroline asked, keeping it casual and as much like normal breakfast banter as possible.

"At school."

This was going to be like extracting teeth, Caroline thought to herself but she was determined to continue and find out some facts; facts she thought, as a mother, she was entitled to and would drag out of her son, monosyllabic answer by monosyllabic answer if necessary.

"I know she attends Sulgrave Heath and she's in your year level but how did you meet up?"

"A group."

"A group? What kind of group?"

Lawrence swallowed the mouthful of cereal he had been munching but didn't go for a refill. He knew that his mother would persist with the questions until she was satisfied she had the answers she needed so he decided that it was probably best to bite the bullet and get it all over and done with as quickly and painlessly as possible rather than prolonging the agony.

"There's a group at school for kids with gay parents…."

"There is?" As Head Teacher, Caroline assumed she knew most of what was happening at her school but this news came as a complete surprise.

"Yep…Lily started it about two years ago and when she heard that you and Kate were getting married she came and talked to me….she told me about the group and said that I was welcome to join them any time I liked."

"Two years!"

"I didn't go straight away….I was in 'denial' as Lily likes to call it and she's probably right and when I did eventually go, it was mainly to meet her again…. but it was good hanging out with others that are the same…no one teases you….everyone is in the same boat and understands what you're talking about and has similar problems. You can say things without having to explain yourself all the time or watch your words."

Caroline stood for a moment in stunned silence. How could she have been so unthinking? After the difficulty she had gone through coming to terms herself with the fact that she was a lesbian she was shocked that it hadn't occurred to her that her sons, especially Lawrence, would benefit from some sort of support network particularly with people of their own age. She knew to expect some teasing and there had been the 'Furry Cup' incident which she thought she had dealt with and nipped any further teasing in the bud but she hadn't considered the day-to-day things; the same day-to-day things she faced as an adult such as having conversations with strangers where you had to explain that no, you didn't mean your _husband_ and that you were married to another woman or having to ignore the raised eyebrows and the sly, judging looks. Lawrence probably had to experience similar things including perhaps, the assumption that because his mother was gay then he was too. It never failed to amaze her some of the thoughts people had.

"So when does this group meet?" she finally asked.

"There's no set time….some of us hang out at lunch times when we can….We usually arrange to meet up on the weekends but nothing is set in stone…It's fun."

"And how many are in this group?"

"Like I said, we hang out at different times…in different groups…but I would say altogether there's eighteen, maybe twenty of us."

"That many? I didn't know….I would never have guessed."

"What wouldn't you have guessed?" Kate asked as she entered the kitchen, with Flora in her arms, and joined them, hoping for her promised breakfast.

"Did you know there was a group at school for students with gay parents?" Caroline asked. "Lily started it."

"Was that Lily? I knew somebody had started a group but I didn't know any of the details," Kate replied, much to Caroline's disappointment as it seemed she was the only one totally in the dark about it.

How much more was happening without her knowledge? As she placed a freshly-made cup of tea on the bench in front of where Kate had pulled up a stool and then went about spreading some jam on a piece of toast, Caroline made a mental note to make an effort to get out of the office more regularly.

Having lost interest in his cereal, Lawrence dumped the spoon in the bowl which he then pushed aside. Caroline gave him a stern look to which he replied, "I'll put it in the dishwasher on my way out."

Noticing that Kate was struggling to manage a squirming Flora and have her breakfast, Lawrence offered to nurse his sister for her so she could eat. It was an offer that Kate gratefully accepted. As Lawrence reached over to take her, Flora held her chubby arms out towards him and greeted him with a broad smile.

"Lawrence!"

"What?"

"Caroline, did you see that?"

"What?" Caroline and Lawrence asked in unison.

"Flora smiled….at Lawrence!"

"Really?" Caroline exclaimed as she abandoned her toast and turned to witness the event.

"What's the problem?" Lawrence asked, puzzled by all the fuss.

"It's her first smile," Kate explained excitedly.

"Oh." Then the significance struck him. "Her first smile was at me."

Again he reached out to her and again she rewarded him with what was an unmistakable smile full of gums and drool. As he took hold of her and perched her securely on his lap she continued to beam her smile up at him much to the delight of Lawrence as well as her two mums.

oooOooo

John had collected Lawrence just after five o'clock, an hour late as usual….the man was nothing if not predictable. Dinner had been eaten and the plates cleared away and Flora was asleep in her swing seat beside where Kate and Caroline had stretched out on the sofa, side by side. The plan had been to watch some television but, even though the TV was on, the two women had been caught up in another activity. One simple kiss had led to another and then another until both women lay completely naked on the sofa and were quite oblivious to the blaring of the television set.

Suddenly Caroline's phone, which lay on the nearby coffee table, began to buzz but neither woman was in any position to answer it so it finally rang out only to start up again ten minutes later. This time Caroline picked it up and glanced at the screen.

_"Gillian. I swear that woman knows when we're alone and calls on purpose," Caroline complained to herself as she answered. _"Hello, Gillian."

"Oh. Hi, Caroline," Gillian replied, "Are you alright? You sound a bit out of breathe…Is this not a good time?"

"No, it's fine," Caroline lied, "how are you?"

With one hand holding the phone, Caroline struggled back into her shirt which she didn't attempt to button up, and then managed to wriggle into her jeans. The thought of being naked while talking to her step-sister, even on the phone, just didn't sit right.

"Good…good…Can I ask you a favour?" Gillian's fingers plucked anxiously at a loose thread in the crocheted rug that covered the arm of her couch.

"_Oh, here we go_," Caroline thought and accompanied that thought with a dramatic eye-roll for Kate's benefit. "Yes, okay….what is it?"

"Um…you know how me and Robbie are getting married…"

"Yes."

"Well, we've set a date…a month from next Saturday…."

"Mmmm"

"Would you…Could you see your way clear to being my bridesmaid….my Matron of Honour?"

Whatever Caroline had been expecting it hadn't been that and it wasn't something she was keen to do. In fact, she detested the idea. She didn't even think that Gillian should be marrying Robbie in the first place.

"Matron of Honour? Do you really need a Matron of Honour?" Caroline sighed, barely bothering to disguise her consternation.

"Robbie's having a best man…Davo, his mate from the station so I need a bridesmaid. Come on, Caroline. It will be fun."

"In which universe could it possibly be fun?"

Ignoring Caroline's sarcasm, Gillian continued on. "You won't have to do much, just turn up on the day and hold my bouquet and perhaps…"

"What?"

While Caroline did her best to wheedle her way out of being Gillian's Matron of Honour, Kate located her own hastily discarded clothes and redressed. She then lifted Flora out of her swing seat, being careful not to disturb her and indicated to Caroline that she was going upstairs. Caroline nodded her understanding.

Kate had only just climbed between the sheets when Caroline entered the room, the expression on her face like a thundercloud telegraphing her annoyance at their evening being so pointlessly disrupted and at being asked to be a bridesmaid of all things.

"What was that all about?" Kate asked cautiously.

"Gillian wants me to be her Matron of Honour at her wedding! Can you believe it?" Caroline spluttered, totally aghast at the idea all over again. "And she didn't even bother to come to our wedding."

"What did you tell her?"

"I tried to say 'no' but she wasn't having it…she talked me into it." Caroline slumped down heavily onto the bed, disappointed that she hadn't held her ground and refused.

Kate tried unsuccessfully to stifle a laugh.

"How bad can it be? We were probably going to have to go to the wedding anyway," Kate consoled as she ran a hand inside the splayed front of Caroline's shirt.

"How bad can it be!….She wants me organise a Hen's Night and she suggested I get strippers! Male strippers! Who wants to watch a bunch of blokes strip down to their ….God knows what?...Well, probably Gillian does but I certainly don't."

While Caroline's face reflected her total abhorrence at the thought, Kate, in contrast, almost toppled off the bed with laughter.

"It's not funny, Kate," she insisted, "Even if I did entertain the notion I wouldn't have the faintest idea how to go about getting a stripper. Do I google them?"

oooOooo

Inevitably, like most other Mondays because it was the start of the working week, Caroline had a very hectic schedule with various meetings and management details to take care of and the rapid approach of the end of the school year only served to ramp everything up an extra gear. A million and one jobs needed to be done and a similar number of forms now crossed her desk wanting to be read and signed as things were being finalised as well as others being in preparation for the new school year that lay ahead. The run from here to the summer vacation was always a marathon and although she had done it many times, it always left her totally exhausted. Her holidays would be a well-earned and necessary relief.

It was only when the letters on the page began to scramble like disturbed ants at a picnic and the words, although she read them numerous times, no longer made sense that Caroline eventually shut down her computer for the day, did a brisk tidy up of the files and papers on her desk and prepared to go home.

On the way to her Jeep she took a quick glance at her watch and saw that it was nearly six o'clock. Initially she toyed with the idea of texting Kate and telling her she was about to leave but, in the end, she decided against it. The drive home was only twenty minutes and Kate knew that she was working late.

As Caroline cruised along the main road only a few kilometres now from her home, the urgent strobing of police lights and the piercing wail of sirens suddenly caught her attention. Instinctively, she looked in her mirror to see both a police car and an ambulance rapidly approaching from behind her. As soon as she could Caroline pulled over and allowed them to pass.

Back on the road again she noticed that they were heading in the same direction as she was. Caroline instantly felt her heart begin to race and her palms grow sweaty. Her breathing became rapid and shallow.

"Don't panic. Everything is alright. Kate is home safe and sound," she repeated to herself as she resisted the urge to speed up.

Her eyes followed the path of the emergency vehicles up ahead as they continued to take the same route until, to Caroline's enormous relief, at the final T junction both vehicles turned right whereas she needed to turn left.

Steadily her pulse settled and her breathing gradually returned to normal. All she wanted to do now was get home, slip into some casual clothes, curl up on the sofa with her wife and daughter and perhaps a glass of wine and recover from the demands of her day.

Once she had parked at the top of her driveway, Caroline quickly gathered her handbag and a few files she had brought home and made a direct line for the door. As was her habit, she tossed the keys into the bowl on the hall sideboard and then went in search of Kate. The sight that greeted her wasn't what she had expected or had hoped for.

Kate was slouched on the edge of the sofa in the living room. Her elbows were resting on her knees and her face was buried in her hands. It looked as though she had been crying. Caroline immediately dropped her bag and files on a nearby table and made her way to Kate's side.

"What's up?" she asked as she rubbed a soothing hand across her wife's back whilst trying not to panic for the second time that afternoon. "Tell me what's happened. Is something wrong with Flora?"

Kate shook her head and indicated to the table in front of her.

Lying on the coffee table was a torn, brown envelope and beside it a single sheet of paper …it was a typed letter with a number of official stamps on it.

oooOooo


	7. Chapter 7

**_"_****_A Gift of Life"_**

**_Chapter 7_**

Caroline unzipped the special compartment of her handbag that held the case containing her reading glasses. She removed the glasses, leaving the case on the table beside her handbag and made her way back to the sofa and to Kate's side. As she put them on she reached for the offending letter, at the same time, running a comforting hand across her wife's shoulders.

Reticently Caroline picked up the letter, almost afraid to read it but also compelled to discover what it was that had distressed Kate so much. The heaviness of the paper itself as she held it in her fingertips conveyed the seriousness of its contents and the gold embossed crown of a Government department as well as the official insignia in the top corner only added to its weightiness.

In a hurry to satisfy her curiosity, Caroline initially skimmed through the letter to get the gist of it and then she went back and read it once again more thoroughly, taking careful note of the details.

It was a letter from the Crown Prosecution Service informing Katherine Abeke McKenzie-Dawson that she would be required as a witness for the prosecution in their case against the driver of the car that had caused her serious injury on Sunday, 9th March 2014. Caroline also noted from the letter that the driver had been charged by police with Aggravated Vehicle Taking causing serious personal injury as well as damage to the vehicle and to other property. As the case was going to trial before a judge and jury Caroline could only assume that at this stage the driver was pleading 'not guilty'. The letter also went on to say that the case was scheduled for Monday, 21st July 2014...the first week of the Summer break, Caroline noted with a mixture of disappointment at having her holiday disrupted so unpleasantly but also relief because she wouldn't have to take time off work to be there to support Kate... at the Magistrates Court in Harrogate before a District Court judge and that Mrs McKenzie-Dawson would need to make herself available from that date.

"I don't think I can do it, Caroline," Kate said, her voice barely above a whisper as her pleading eyes looked into her partner's face, desperate for someone to tell her that she wouldn't have to peel back the layers of immunity she had meticulously put in place around those painful memories and lift the weights that stopped them from surfacing.

As Caroline peered back at her wife's worried expression she knew she would do everything possible to shield her from any further hurt and dearly wished that there was some way she could relieve her of the pain of that day or at least bear this burden herself instead of Kate, after all, the woman had been through enough already…they both had.

"Besides, I don't remember anything other than seeing the car come around the corner and that was it."

Kate knew that wasn't exactly true. She did remember seeing the car come speeding towards her from seemingly out of nowhere as she stepped from the footpath to cross the street but she also remembered, at that last instant, feeling trapped like a deer in the sights of a hunter's rifle with no warning and no time to escape just the inevitability of what was about to happen. She remembered instinctively flinging both arms around her belly in the vain hope of protecting her unborn child as the car bore down on her. She remembered hearing a frightened scream and then recognising it as her own scream. Then there was the total darkness and silence….darkness and silence like she had never experienced before….and she remembered how terrifying it was….not seeing anything, not hearing a sound, not knowing what was happening to her and her baby. Nothing felt right. It was not a moment she wanted to have to continue to relive.

"Maybe if you do this and the person responsible is punished for what they did ….maybe it will give you…us…some closure and we can move on," Caroline said, desperately trying to put a positive spin on the matter as she wasn't at all sure there was a way to avoid appearing in court if you were called as a witness by the prosecution.

"I don't need closure…I need to forget it ever happened…and I have moved on for the most part. It's only when things are dredged up again ….and for what, Caroline?" Her panic echoed in her rising voice. " I'll have to go through the hellish nightmare of it all only to have some callous prick receive a petty fine which he won't be able to pay and be given a token gaol sentence….neither of which will bring back the things I've lost."

The vehemency of Kate's words caught Caroline by surprise.

"I'm sorry, Caroline, but that's how I feel," she added, her voice more subdued as she saw the hurt in her partner's face.

"There's the name here on the letter of a contact person if we have any questions...a Janet Brownlow... Maybe we should call her and hear what she has to say….see if there's any way you can avoid having to appear…if that's what you want to do," Caroline suggested quietly.

"I know you think I'm shirking my responsibilities but you're not the one they're putting on the stand and asking questions of, which means having to drag up all the awful memories."

"No…no…I don't think that at all, Kate."

Leaving the letter rest in her lap, Caroline gathered her disconsolate wife into her arms and held her in a tight, protective embrace adding a loving kiss on the top of her head to help soothe her qualms.

"Oh, there you are," came the sudden and all-too-chirpy voice of Celia as she made her way from the kitchen. "I've been looking for you."

"Hi, mum," Caroline replied as she released Kate from her arms and quickly began to fold up the letter and place it and its tell-tale envelope in a less conspicuous spot, away from her mother's prying eyes. She didn't want to have to explain its contents to her right now…she would have to tell her eventually but she would do it at another more suitable time, not now.

"Hello, Celia," Kate replied also, after she had gathered herself together a bit more.

Both women tried to put casual expressions on their faces but Celia wasn't fooled. She hadn't been born yesterday.

Sensing the tension in the room, she asked, "Is everything alright?"

"Yes, everything is fine, mum," Caroline answered with a feigned cheerful smile which she knew wouldn't wash with her mother but it would prevent any more questions. "Did you want something?"

Accepting for now that she wasn't going to be made party to whatever it was that was happening, Celia continued on with her own matter.

"I was thinking of driving into Harrogate tomorrow morning to do some shopping for an outfit for Gillian's wedding…seems like that's all going ahead at this stage….and I might buy a hat too….."

_"__Why not wear the outfit you bought for my wedding? It hasn't been worn," Caroline thought a tad facetiously but she kept her words to herself. She was determined not to waste any more of her life dwelling on the matter as she saw it as an exercise in futility and it wouldn't undo the past._

"And I was wondering," Celia continued on, blithely unaware of her daughter's thoughts, "if Kate would like to come with me?"

Encouraged by Celia's thoughtfulness, Kate gave her a smile too, a far more genuine one than Caroline had managed.

'That would be great, Celia. Thank you."

"I was planning on leaving at about nine, if that suits? We could make a morning of it. Alan flatly refuses to come clothes shopping so it will just be you, me and Flora."

"Nine's good."

"Okay, love. I'll come and fetch you about then."

With the arrangements in place and no more conversation forthcoming, Celia said a final goodnight and left them to the rest of their evening.

"You don't have to go with her, you know, not if you don't want to," Caroline said apologetically as soon as she felt that Celia was out of earshot. A prolonged period of exposure to her mother with no obvious means of escape wasn't good for anyone, especially her kind-hearted wife.

"It's fine, Caroline. I do want to go. The only decent clothes I have are all maternity outfits so I need to buy something to wear to the wedding and I might find some other clothes as well…nothing I have fits me properly anymore…and you know I'm not ready to drive myself yet."

"We can go shopping on the weekend if you like….you don't have to go with my mother…not if you don't want to."

For the first time that evening Kate laughed. "It's alright, Caroline. I can handle her. She's not as hard core as she likes to think and we get along well enough….most of the time."

Although not fully convinced that it was a wise move, Caroline let the matter rest, consoled by the fact that, as she knew only too well, when push came to shove, Kate was indeed perfectly capable of standing up for herself.

The distraction had served to lift their mood and Caroline took the opportunity to suggest that they should retire to the kitchen and scavenge up some dinner for themselves before they both die of hunger. Kate agreed but was going to look in on Flora first before joining Caroline. As she stood to go upstairs, Kate warily slipped the envelope containing the weighty letter from its hiding place and took it upstairs with her to be filed away for now but inevitably re-opened all too soon.

oooOooo

"Yoohoo," came the call from just beyond the side entrance. "Is anybody home?'

"I'm in here, Celia," Kate called out in answer, "in the living room."

"Morning, love," Celia said as she entered the room to find Kate in the final stages of fastening Flora into the baby carrier. "Are we nearly ready to go?"

"Morning, Celia. We're almost there. Would you mind carrying the baby bag for me?" Kate asked as she pointed to the bulging bag of nappies, formula and so forth that was sitting on the coffee table.

Fortunately, and to Celia's relief, it wasn't as heavy as it appeared.

With Flora finally secured into her capsule, Kate slung the strap to her handbag over her shoulder, lifted Flora in one hand and balanced the folded-up stroller in the other.

"Right, I think that's everything and if it's not well, too bad…We're ready….Let's go."

"Taking a baby shopping isn't as simple and easy as it sounds, is it?" Celia observed as they trundled to the car with all the necessary baggage.

Kate answered her with a wry laugh. "Nothing is simple and easy with a baby so I'm finding out." It seemed like one could scale Mount Everest with less equipment.

It took another few minutes of careful manoeuvring for Flora's capsule to be safely fitted into the rear of the Lexus, the other baby gear to be placed in the boot and for Kate to secure herself into her seat before Celia was reversing down the drive and directing the car out onto the street.

At first, Kate had to admit to feeling quite tense as Celia drove the Lexus along the road to Harrogate a little faster than perhaps was the speed limit. She struggled to restrain her urge to clutch onto the arm rest and several times her foot hit the imaginary brake as Celia approached corners or came up behind other vehicles. However, by the time they had pulled into the car park behind the Victoria Shopping Centre Kate had managed to relax somewhat. Thankfully Celia was able to find a place to park that didn't require the crossing of any streets for that was still a cause of anxiety to her. Once Flora was in her stroller, it was a short walk to one of the several entrances to the centre.

It had taken a visit to several shops and much undressing and dressing, not to mention umm-ing and ahh-ing, before Celia had finally settled upon an outfit that she was completely satisfied with although, now that she had purchased it, she was having trouble finding a suitable hat to match and was seriously considering returning it as she had her heart set on the idea of an outfit_ avec un chapeau_.

Kate, on the other hand, had easily found a number of garments she liked and the problem had been deciding which one to buy. After narrowing it down to just two outfits, she still didn't know which she preferred so she lashed out and bought both as well as a few other more casual items, convincing herself that, despite the fact that they were watching their pennies after stretching their budget to buy John's share of the house, Caroline wouldn't mind her spending up as the items had been on sale.

Laden with shopping bags of various sorts and with her aching feet telling her it was time to rest, Celia suggested they find somewhere to sit and have lunch which Kate was more than willing to do. Flora too was demanding to be fed.

As the trio headed towards Celia's favourite café they passed a lingerie shop where Kate's attention was caught by a display in the window.

"Celia, would you mind waiting here with Flora for a moment while I duck in and have a look at something….I won't be long," Kate promised.

Celia inspected the display window and gave Kate a dubious look before taking over the grip on the stroller.

"Go on then."

Kate expressed her appreciation and entered the store leaving Celia and Flora outside.

As Celia waited, pushing the stroller gently back and forth to pacify a hungry Flora, she thought she heard someone calling her name.

"Celia Dawson!"

Celia looked around to see where the voice was coming from and noticed a woman approaching her.

"Celia Dawson, it is really you? It's been years!"

As the woman neared her, Celia recognised her as Maureen Crowther. They had been close friends since the later years of high school when Maureen had arrived as a new student and was getting some harsh treatment from some of the older girls. Celia had noticed this and wasn't impressed so she had convinced Maureen to skip a lesson and they'd gone down to the bike racks and let all the tyres down and stolen the seats off the bikes of the girls who had been taunting her. Mild enough stuff nowadays but it had done the trick and the two girls had remained best friends well into their married lives. However, after Celia found out about her husband's philandering she had gradually withdrawn from all her social groups, out of shame and hurt pride. Friendships weren't maintained and although she had been very fond of Maureen, she too had finally been cut adrift. It had been years now since they had seen each other.

"Maureen, how wonderful to see you," Celia replied trying to muster sufficient enthusiasm for her friend but old habits die hard and Celia found it difficult, even now, to face people who possibly knew all about Kenneth's adulterous behaviour long before she did and had probably talked about her, felt sorry for her or even laughed at her behind her back.

"How are you?" Maureen inquired politely, "Oh, I was so upset to hear about Kenneth's passing."

"I'm fine thanks, Maureen. That was a while ago now," Celia replied and then announced cheerfully, "I'm Mrs Buttershaw now. I'm married to Alan. Do you remember Alan Buttershaw?"

"Alan! Of course, I remember him. That's marvellous, Celia. Everyone liked Alan."

"Yes, they did, didn't they. We met up again after sixty years and decided to get married."

"How romantic," Maureen exclaimed. "How's your daughter, Caroline? Someone told me she and her husband….John?...got divorced."

"Yes, they did," was all Celia would volunteer.

"Happens a lot these days doesn't it," Maureen stated simply, "and who's this little one?"

With some difficulty as her joints were stiff with age and a touch of arthritis, Maureen bent over so she could see Flora more clearly and stroked her tiny hand. Flora quickly latched onto one of the woman's thick fingers and held tight as Maureen cooed over her.

While Celia was busily thinking of a way to divert the conversation away from the uncomfortable path it was taking, knowing where it would inevitably lead, Kate emerged from the lingerie shop carrying a small bag in her hand and came to stand next to Celia. There was no way out now, Celia realised and decided that she didn't really give a monkey's.

"That's baby Flora…Flora Grace…she's my grand-daughter."

Celia could almost hear her friend's brain ticking over, trying to make sense of that detail.

_"__But wait, there's more," Celia said to herself,_ "And this is Kate…Flora's mother…Caroline's wife."

Maureen straightened up so she could greet Kate face to face.

_"__That should shock the shoes off her," Celia thought._

"Oh, so Caroline…?"

"Is a lesbian….yes, or so she seems to think," Celia quipped.

Kate threw her a challenging glance which missed its mark as Celia chose to ignore it.

"I was going to say 'remarried'," Maureen replied. "Congratulations, Kate."

The woman extended a friendly hand to Kate which she shook appreciatively.

"My daughter, Kathleen….Do you remember Kathy, Celia?...Turns out that she's a lesbian too. She and her partner, Christine, have been together for nearly ten years now. They live down in Brighton. I was there only last week. They're planning to get married in the Spring."

It was Celia's turn to be surprised.

"And Lottie Hanlon's son, Rex, is married to a Joshua 'somebody'…Then, of course, there's Daphne's daughter, Julie, who has come out to everyone except Daphne and Jim but that would be because Jim is homophobic and has made it abundantly clear that he would disown any offspring of his who are gay…honestly, he doesn't deserve to have children."

Celia had been stunned into silence.

"There must have been something in the water back then do you think, Celia?" Maureen joked.

Celia managed a weak smile and could only reply, "Quite possibly."

With Celia left quite speechless, Kate felt compelled to fill the gap in the conversation.

'We were about to have some lunch at the café if you would like to join us?" Kate offered politely as she had taken an immediate liking to Maureen Crowther.

"Thank you, Kate, but I have an appointment in…" The woman glanced at her watch. "About ten minutes so I'd better hurry along. It's been good to see you, Celia…Nice to meet you, Kate and your beautiful daughter. Say 'hello' to Caroline for me."

After all the usual farewells and promises to catch up or phone, Maureen Crowther headed for the main door while Kate and Celia pushed on towards the café.

"That bit of news will give her and her lot something to gossip about," Celia said cynically as they halted in the doorway to the café and looked for an available table.

"What 'lot'?" Kate inquired, not sure she hadn't missed something.

"Oh, I don't know…whoever she hangs around with these days, I suppose."

"She doesn't strike me as the gossipy type," Kate said innocently, "and she has a lesbian daughter so it's not really 'gossip' to her."

"Trust me, everyone gossips," Celia warned her, sounding just a little paranoid or so Kate thought.

oooOooo

It was mid- afternoon when Celia finally dumped at least a dozen shopping bags onto the sofa and Kate placed a sleeping Flora, still in her carrier, on a rug on the living room floor. While Kate made a second trip to the car to fetch the stroller and all the other baby gear, Celia sorted through the bags to make sure she had all of her purchases.

"This must be yours because they're certainly not mine," Celia stated with a smirk as she held up the dark blue, silk and lace bra and a pair of matching knickers that Kate had bought at the lingerie shop.

A flush of embarrassment made its way to Kate's cheeks.

"They're a gift for Caroline," she quickly explained as she retrieved them from Celia's grasp and stuffed them back in their bag….an explanation that only served to further her embarrassment and put a wicked edge to her mother-in-law's smile.

Kate offered to make Celia a cup of tea but, after their rather hectic day, Celia admitted to being quite worn out and in desperate need of an afternoon nap so instead, she collected her shopping bags and made for her little flat at the back of the house.

Kate was feeling in much the same state. She put Flora, who was still sound asleep, safely into her bassinet, cleared the remaining bags from the sofa and then stretched out and made herself comfortable.

It was the sensation of familiar fingers gently stroking her hair and running across her cheek that finally woke her almost two hours later. Gradually gaining focus through the haze of sleepiness, she was able to make out Caroline's face and those unmistakable blue eyes gazing down at her. Caroline was kneeling on the floor beside her, studying her, and when she saw that Kate was now awake she placed a soft kiss on her wife's wonderful mouth.

"What time is it?" Kate asked as she wiped a hand across her eyes and struggled to become alert.

"I'm home early…well, early-ish…It's only just gone half four."

Feeling guilty that she had slept for so long, Kate abruptly sat herself up and made room on the sofa for Caroline.

Looking at the numerous shopping bags piled on the floor, Caroline commented, "I see you take the sport of clothes shopping very seriously. Did you find an outfit for the wedding?"

Kate nodded sheepishly.

"There were two dresses that I really liked but I couldn't decide so…"

"So?"

"I bought them both."

Caroline attempted to look cross at Kate's extravagance but her expression quickly turned to something else until she finally leaned over and pressed their lips together once again in an inviting kiss.

"There's a present in there for you too," Kate said with a teasing grin as she reached for the smallest bag but she refused to hand it over just at the moment, although the logo of the lingerie shop on the outside of the bag gave Caroline a fair idea of what it might contain.

The smouldering cast of Caroline's eyes reflected her suspicions. Her penchant for fine lingerie was a secret she had shared with Kate or, at least, unlike her husband of a mere eighteen years, Kate had noticed her fetish and she'd had to confess. Beautiful underwear made her feel confident and was something she would spoil herself with on occasion.

During the latter years of her marriage to John she hadn't bothered with it…it hadn't felt right and there was no point really…. but Caroline clearly recalled that first time Kate had suggested they meet up for a coffee one Saturday afternoon and the lengths she had gone to in finding her favourite set of silk and lace underwear. It was of a rich claret colour and the sensation she felt as she slipped it over her skin was undeniably sensual.

At the time she hadn't been sure why she had bothered, after all, they were only meeting for coffee but looking back on it now she had been aware at some level, even then, that there had been an incredible force of attraction at play. She remembered sitting opposite Kate in the busy coffee shop talking about everyday things if not perhaps even flirting with the woman a little as, at the same time, her mind was toying with thoughts of what Kate might do if she knew what was beneath her outer layer and that she had worn such silk and lace especially for her. She thought about how those beautiful brown eyes, dark and liquid as molasses, would set their admiring gaze upon her and how it would feel with just the thin layer of silk and lace between the palm of Kate's hand and the flesh of her breasts.

This fondness for expensive lingerie first came to Kate's attention the day Caroline had made the decision to follow her heart and her desire for happiness. Although she wasn't entirely sure if being with a woman was what she wanted, she knew that she would never find out for sure unless she tried. Caroline also decided on that day that if she was to be with a woman, that woman would have to be Kate.

Despite an anxious night worried about the whereabouts and safety of her mother and Alan, Caroline had been too wired to rest after the couple had been found. With her mind made up, all she could think about was her Modern Languages teacher so rather than continue her futile attempt to find sleep she prepared to go into work for the afternoon. From deep within her chest of drawers she had revived her favourite black, silk bra and matching knickers. She would need that confidence boost they gave her if she was to carry out her plan. Their touch against her skin was light and smooth and the idea that Kate might discover them aroused her in a way that she'd almost forgotten.

As a matter of urgency, Caroline's first course of action as she arrived at Sulgrave Heath was to summons Kate into the privacy of her office where, after a brief interruption, she had left Kate in no doubt as to her feelings for her as she had boldly clasped Kate's anxious face in her hands and kissed her. The kiss had been heated and hungry with desire.

Not wanting to lose the momentum of that kiss, Kate had taken the initiative and invited Caroline to her house that afternoon after school. It was an invitation that Caroline eagerly accepted. However, as the Head Teacher sat at her desk counting down the hours and then the minutes until it was time to leave, she began to wonder and worry if perhaps her black, silk lingerie was a little too brazen…too premeditated. There was no doubt that sex was the thing foremost in both their minds but she didn't want to give Kate the wrong impression.

Caroline needn't have worried. Despite an initial 'hiccup' in the form of Gillian, Kate hadn't hesitated in taking her to her bedroom where they had none-too-slowly peeled away each other's clothes amidst a foray of sensual and languid kisses until Caroline was left standing, adorned only in her expensive lingerie. The appreciative look in Kate's eye as she admired the sight made it well worth the effort. However, it wasn't long before both the bra and knickers joined the rest of their hastily discarded clothing in a scattered pile on the floor.

"We ran into an old friend of your mother's today while we were out….a Maureen Crowther."

"Mrs Crowther? I remember her. It must be at least fifteen years since I've seen her….Lawrence wasn't much more than a toddler," Caroline recalled.

"You'll never guess what happened…"

"What?"

"Help me take Flora and these shopping bags upstairs and I'll tell you while you try on your present."

oooOooo

The week seemed to hurtle to its end with never enough hours in the day for Caroline to complete all the jobs that presented at this hectic time of the year so when Lawrence lobbed into her office after Rugby training on Friday afternoon ready to depart, he found his mother still ensconced in a mountain of paperwork.

Lawrence cleared his throat noisily and asked, "Are you going to be ready to leave any time soon or should I start walking?"

At the sound of her son's voice Caroline put down her pen, dragged her attention away from the forms she was studying and looked up.

Peering at Lawrence over the top of her glasses that were perched on the end of her nose, she asked, "Is it that time already?"

The weariness she felt all of a sudden told her it was.

"It's nearly half five, it's Friday and I'm starving so let's go," he said jovially. It worried him at times how hard his mother worked.

Friday night dinner with his mum and Kate had become quite a regular event. Often they would cook a special meal but tonight they'd decided to keep it simple and easy by ordering pizzas.

"If you phone the pizza order through….the usual, I'm guessing….I'll be done here by the time you hang up."

Looking doubtful, Lawrence reached his phone from his bag and made the call.

To his surprise his mother was by his side, car keys in one hand and handbag in the other, as he finished the call.

"Isn't Lily joining us tonight?" Caroline inquired as they walked to the car. "You two haven't had a falling out, have you?"

"No but it's just me tonight," Lawrence groaned disappointedly. "Lily's gone to a fashion show with her dad….I was invited but I draw the line at fashion shows…a man's gotta have his limits. Seriously, how could anyone find fashion shows interesting or even fun?"

After a quick stop off to collect the pizzas, Caroline was soon pulling the Jeep into the drive. While she carried her bag and bundle of files for her attention over the weekend, Lawrence precariously balanced the three pizzas boxes and his school backpack as well as another bag holding his change of clothes. He was staying overnight and then his dad was picking him up the next morning and taking him to his Rugby match. Kate had been listening out for their arrival and was there at the door to greet them and to relieve Lawrence of the pizzas.

The table had been laid and after hurriedly tossing his bags into his room Lawrence joined his mum, Kate and Flora in the dining room for some eagerly anticipated dinner. The aroma of the pizza wafting through the house was mouth-watering and he had taken his first bite before he had even sat down.

Lawrence and Kate tucked in using the traditional method…their hands…whereas Caroline still preferred to use a knife and fork.

"How are your exams going?" Caroline asked her son between bites.

"Okay," Lawrence replied, barely taking the time to stop chewing so he could answer.

An 'okay' from Lawrence was a good thing as far as Caroline was concerned. Her younger son wasn't unintelligent, just not academically inclined. She had worried about his future for many years as he showed an obvious dislike for study or reading anything other than his Death Grip comics or football magazines but these days she was more confident that he would find something that he loved to do and do it well. What that 'something' was she was still not sure of and neither was he, she suspected.

As the pizza was consumed and the wine poured and sipped or, in Lawrence's case, the Coke, the usual dinner time conversation proceeded as each inquired about the other's day and events were recounted.

During a temporary lull in the chatter Lawrence piped up, "Did you know that dad is dyeing his hair to cover the grey?"

Caroline held back a grin and replied, "No…no, I didn't know that."

"And he's had his ear pierced and has bought a motorbike."

That was too much for Caroline who let forth with a highly amused laugh. Kate was also amused but her laughter showed far more polite restraint.

"Sounds like he's having a mid-life crisis," Caroline concluded once she stopped laughing.

"He's got a girlfriend too," Lawrence continued.

Not really caring who John was seeing, she managed a "Good for him" and then reached for her glass of wine.

"She's blonde, has big boobs and is 24."

In her surprise, Caroline had accidentally inhaled a huge gulp of her wine and it had gone down the wrong way. She coughed and spluttered frantically as she tried to clear her airway and take a breath.

A concerned Kate quickly tried to calm her as she rubbed a hand across Caroline's back to stop her from panicking.

"It's okay….You'll be right in a moment."

The coughing spasm lasted perhaps another ten seconds before finally subsiding.

With her first available breath Caroline gasped, "Twenty-four! What on earth could he possibly have in common with a twenty-four year old? She's a foetus!"

Lawrence's reply was simple.

"Sex?!"

oooOooo


	8. Chapter 8

**_"A Gift of Life"_**

**_Chapter 8_**

"Lawrence!"

"What? It's true, mum!" Lawrence was astounded that his mother would pull him up for telling the truth. "They're at it every chance they get and even ones they don't get. They think I don't know what they're up to but I do, of course. I can hear them…The whole neighbourhood can hear them. The walls in that apartment are like cardboard…it's disgusting." The mere thought of all the recent goings-on made Lawrence wince visibly. "Fortunately, I still have those headphones I bought to block out Flora's crying…you know, when she had colic."

Lawrence screwed up his face at the thought of his father and new girlfriend having sex within earshot of….well, everybody. Caroline wore a similar expression at the same thought as she made a mental note to warn John, next time she saw him, that he and his _girlfriend_ needed to be a bit more discreet when Lawrence is around and the neighbours are home. As far as she was concerned, constantly exposing their son to such activities could constitute mental cruelty.

'It's probably just a phase he's going through," Kate suggested, 'he'll be over it soon enough."

"_Last week_ isn't soon enough," complained a disgruntled Lawrence, "because I'm already tired of him calling me 'dude' and wanting to 'knuckle bump' every five minutes…it's so not cool…you don't do that with your _father_."

It crossed Caroline's mind that it might be a good time to suggest to Lawrence that he move back in with them but her second thought was that she really should discuss the matter with Kate before making the offer. Things were going well with Lawrence so maybe she shouldn't upset the apple cart and perhaps a few more weeks with his testosterone-addled father and the busty bimbo would make Lawrence more appreciative of such an offer. She only hoped that it wasn't interfering with her son's studying for his exams.

After checking that everyone had had their fill of pizza, Caroline stacked the few remaining pieces onto one plate ready to store in the refrigerator and instructed Lawrence to take the empty boxes out to the rubbish bin while she cleared away the rest of the things on the table. Kate, who had been nursing Flora on her lap, took her drowsy baby upstairs for a bath and then bed.

When she returned to the kitchen to help Caroline there was little left to be done so she turned her attention to making them both a cup of tea.

"What do you suppose John is doing with a 24 year old girlfriend other than…what Lawrence suggested?" Kate asked casually as she rinsed the mugs.

'Who knows?" Caroline replied as she moved in behind Kate, slipped her arms loosely around her wife's waist and placed a tender kiss in that sensitive spot below her ear. "It's all a bit sad really….a bit of a desperate attempt to ward off growing up and reaching middle-age, I suspect." As Kate filled their mugs with hot tea, Caroline released her embrace and with a dismissive wave of her hand concluded, "Anyway, that's his problem, not mine…it has nothing to do with me, although I hope he doesn't….."

"What?"

"I hope he doesn't get her pregnant."

oooOooo

It was a sluggish start to their Saturday morning with everyone taking advantage of no pressing matters to consider to lie in a little longer than usual. Even Flora had been content to rest peacefully once Kate had changed her nappy and brought her into the bedroom to feed her.

As Kate plumped up the pillows and propped herself up in the bed, Caroline had awoken but only long enough to turn over and mumble a 'good morning' to them, snuggle up more closely then drift off back to sleep whilst muttering something about loving them both more than her Jeep Cherokee.

Some people desired wealth, others wanted power. This, Kate decided, was all she needed for a happy life….her beautiful wife and her adorable daughter nestled up with her in bed on a lazy Saturday morning.

However, as hunger pangs jabbed at their respective stomachs, there was a gradual migration from the coziness of the bed to the kitchen where they found Lawrence, already dressed for the day and tucking into a slice of leftover pizza…the mound of crumbs on his plate suggesting it wasn't his first.

Amidst the general 'good mornings' and the ensuing cacophony of breakfast-making noises…the bubbling of the water in the kettle, the 'pop' of the toaster, the rattle and chink of plates on the hard bench and the muted thud of the fridge being opened and closed…they heard a deep, throbbing rumble coming from outside, in the direction of the driveway.

"That'll be dad," Lawrence informed them as he reluctantly put the last bite of pizza back on the plate, reconsidered, and then managed to fit it in his mouth before grabbing his backpack and overnight bag from in the doorway. "He's taking me to Rugby and he's on time for once," he tried to say as well as swallow that final mouthful of food.

"But that's not the sound of your father's car," a puzzled Caroline called out as she followed him down the hallway.

As she opened the door to see what was happening and who it was in her driveway, it all became clear in an instant. John was striding his way across the gravel to her doorstep in heavy-duty boots, clad head-to-toe in black leather. His hair was longish and unkempt and even more amazingly, it was completely jet black in colour. In his left earlobe which, to Caroline, appeared red and swollen, there was a small, silver hoop.

Caroline turned her head away and feigned a brief coughing fit so she could get control over her desire to laugh and had time to paste a more serious expression on her face before having to speak to him.

"Morning, Caroline," he said in a cheery voice, hoping that the cheeriness would hide his apprehension about her reaction to his new look. He knew only too well how stinging her tongue could be and didn't want to be made to look foolish. Fortunately, Caroline decided he didn't need her help in that department today and she refrained…but only just… from saying aloud any of the wide selection of comments that were flashing through her head at that particular moment.

John turned to Lawrence who was standing beside his mother.

"Hi dude. How's it hanging?" He then presented a fist ready for a 'knuckle bump'.

Lawrence slid his mother a cognizant look that said, _"See? I wasn't exaggerating," _before bumping his father's fist with a decided lack of enthusiasm. "It's all good, dad."

Suddenly Caroline's eye caught sight of the motorbike in her driveway; the heavy frame all shiny black and mirrored chrome and the wheels with their chrome spokes and fat tyres, every part of it oozing masculinity. Ignorant of all and anything to do with vehicles with only two wheels because, as far as she was concerned, they weren't to be part of her life, she wasn't sure of, nor was she interested, in the details such as what kind of motorbike it was.

"How do you plan to get Lawrence to Rugby with just that thing?" Caroline asked tersely as she nodded towards John's new toy, all signs of amusement having now quickly dissipated.

"Oh, there's a spare," John explained as he offered Lawrence the full-faced helmet he held in his hand, thinking it would appease all of Caroline's concerns.

Caroline rapidly intercepted Lawrence's hand as he reached for it.

"Not in this lifetime," she spat angrily. She was beyond furious that John would even consider putting their son's life at stake on the back of such a ridiculous machine which, as far as she knew, he had very limited experience in riding.

"Lawrence, go inside and wait until I get changed and let Kate know what's happening. I'll take you to Rugby myself if that's the best your father can do. It's his choice if Captain America here wants to kill himself on that thing but he's not taking you with him."

Recognising the determined set of his mother's jaw and the steely look in her eye, Lawrence knew her instructions were not to be challenged.

Addressing John through gritted teeth and lips drawn tight with anger, her voice dangerously low, she said, "If you ever, _ EVER _ risk our son's life on that...that _thing..." C_aroline pointed her index finger deftly in the direction of the motorbike. .."I will personally nail those tiny, pink, starved of light bollocks of yours to the road. Do you understand?"

John could only wince in response.

She then added as an afterthought, "And for God's sake do something about that ear before it goes septic and falls off."

Too cross to even stand the sight of him any longer, she gave her ex-husband a final, scathing glare before closing the door firmly in his face. It wasn't long after that she heard the sound of John and his bike burbling down the drive and fading off into the distance. She could only shake her head in disbelief as she went to change.

oooOooo

After doing a final tidy-up of her desk and giving her 'inbox' one last check before shutting down her computer, Caroline released a huge sigh of relief and satisfaction. It was Friday afternoon and she was now officially on her summer break.

As she collected her bag and checked she had everything she needed, Caroline closed her office door behind her and strode down the hallway towards the staircase, her heels echoing in the emptiness. Everyone else had long gone, even Beverley who had ducked into her office over an hour ago to ask how much longer Caroline would be. Sensing her assistance's eagerness to be gone too, Caroline told her that she was staying on to finish off a few small tasks but she didn't need her for anything further that afternoon and insisted she leave. Beverley hesitated. She was keen to be on her way but she was always loyal to her boss and often worried that she worked too hard. It was only after Caroline explained that she couldn't stay too late anyway as she had her step-sister's Hens' Night to attend that evening that Beverley relented and said her farewells, wished her a wonderful holiday and with a final reminder not to hang about, left Caroline to it.

Despite the temptation to drop everything and go home as well to a waiting Kate and Flora, Caroline had persisted and stayed on until all her work was up-to-date as she was determined to think about work as little as possible while she was on her break and with her family. Now everything was done, she walked to her car with a self-satisfied smile on her face and a spring in her step. She had made it through the end-of-term madness retaining most of her sanity and without having a nervous breakdown which was no mean feat. Ahead of her lay weeks of rest and recreation which she looked forward to although, she reminded herself, she had Gillian's Hens' Party to get through later that night and the subsequent wedding the next day and then the trial started on the Monday but after that it would be plain sailing or so she hoped. A quick look at her watch told her that she needed to hurry along if she was going to make Gillian's party so she tossed her bag across the seat, threw the Jeep into gear and headed home.

The Hen's Night Caroline had planned was nothing too outrageous and had been organised weeks ago with considerable help from Kate. All they had to do tonight was turn up. It was only to be a family affair with Ellie, Celia, Gillian, Kate and herself so she had Kate reserve a table at a lovely little restaurant near Halifax that came with good recommendations. When booking, Caroline had asked Kate to request a table that would give them some privacy which, although bemused by the request, Kate did. What Caroline hadn't revealed to Kate, or to anyone, was that after much consternation and against her better judgement, she had relented and organised a stripper. After all, even though it wasn't her personal idea of fun, it was Gillian's Hens' Night and the woman had wanted a stripper so, when Caroline had spotted a small advertisement in a Halifax Courier that Alan had brought with him and left behind, she had gone ahead and made the call. Thankfully, it had only taken one call and all the arrangements were made.

As Caroline drove home she thought about the night ahead. She felt a bit uneasy about the whole idea of a stripper, especially one she'd hired sight unseen. Had she done the right thing? Then she consoled herself with the thought that it was a man taking his clothes off…as long as he was under 60 years old, had most of his teeth and wasn't too flabby, Gillian would most likely be happy.

oooOooo

"Are you nearly ready?" Kate called out as she packed the last few items into the baby bag and gave her daughter a smile and tickle.

It wasn't the ideal situation, taking a baby to a Hens' Party, but there was no one to babysit her otherwise. Alan, who was staying in for the evening at Gillian's place, had offered to collect her from the restaurant and look after her and, although they trusted him to take good care of her, with his heart problem they thought it best he didn't…not alone. Caroline had tentatively suggested hiring a professional baby-sitter for the evening but Kate had adamantly refused to leave their child in the care of a complete stranger as Caroline ultimately knew she would so there was no other option other than to bring her along.

"I'm ready when you are," Caroline answered as she appeared in the living room, freshly showered and dressed.

As Caroline sidled up beside her to take a peek at their daughter who was safely fastened in her carrier, Kate detected the scent of her wife's perfume, not too flowery or sweet but sensual and entirely 'Caroline'…and totally irresistible.

Suddenly Caroline found herself under the most smoldering of gazes and then felt the light touch of Kate's velvet lips against her own, a touch that quickly gathered momentum as her partner's warm, insistent tongue seduced its way into her mouth. Caroline easily fell into the desire of the kiss.

"Do you think they would mind if we were a bit late?" Kate whispered as she let a dark hand press deliberately against Caroline's breast.

Enjoying the pleasurable feeling that was developing in her nether regions and drawn into the eddy of the melting brown eyes that pleaded with her, it took Caroline a few moments to come to her senses and she moved out of their pull.

Picking up her handbag, the car keys and the small suitcase containing their outfits for the wedding the following day, she replied, "Nice try but we, at least, have to be there on time." Then she quickly made for the door, uncertain as to whether she could withstand a possible second onslaught from those lips.

The drive over to Halifax gave the couple the perfect opportunity to catch up on each other's day. Immensely pleased with herself, Caroline informed Kate that she had managed to tie up all the loose ends at work and wouldn't have to think about school until the very end of the holidays. Her holiday time would be theirs to share and enjoy.

"Maybe we should consider going away for a few days…a week… after the tr….everything," Caroline suggested.

"Mmmm…..perhaps."

"You don't sound keen."

"I am but can we wait and see how things turn out?"

A little disappointed by her partner's lack of enthusiasm for the idea but completely understanding, she answered with a simple, "Of course." She would follow the matter up at a later date when they were more certain of what they were doing.

To change the subject, Kate, with all the enthusiasm of a new mum, described to her wife how Flora was now trying to use her legs to stand up, with support of course, and how she had noticed that she was grabbing at any brightly-coloured objects that crossed her path. They would have to be careful from now on as to where they put things because everything she did succeed in grasping tended to go straight into her mouth.

"And she almost rolled over today when I had her lying on her blanket on the floor," Kate continued proudly.

"Oh oh, soon she'll be mobile and then we'll know we're alive," Caroline replied with trepidation as she remembered back to having two small boys who were into everything and anything once they were on the move.

After a lengthy quiet, Caroline ventured to ask, "Did you call Janet Brownlow at the Crown Prosecution Service again today?"

The cheerfulness of a moment ago instantly went out the window to be replaced with a much more somber air which made Caroline wish she hadn't mentioned the topic but, with the party tonight and the wedding tomorrow, she couldn't see too many more chances to have this discussion before the trial actually began.

"I called her this morning, not long after you left for work….She said that their case was much stronger if I appeared as their witness…and if I don't appear voluntarily they can subpoena me…force me to take the witness stand…so really, what choice do I have?" Kate replied. The resignation was obvious in her voice.

Search as she might, Caroline couldn't find the right words to say to her partner to alleviate her worry and anxiety so she simply ran a consoling hand along Kate's thigh.

_"I'll be there with you, Kate."_

They had first contacted Ms Janet Brownlow the Monday after receiving notification that the case was scheduled to go before the court and Kate would be required as a witness, in the hope of being told that it wasn't absolutely necessary for her to testify. Unwilling to make such a conjecture over the phone, Ms Brownlow, the lawyer assisting with the case, had set up an appointment with them to discuss the matter and go through all possibilities.

Together, on the Wednesday, Kate and Caroline had met Ms Brownlow at the Harrogate Courts. To their surprise the woman was much smaller in stature than they had imagined….she'd sounded so 'large' on the phone…but she had marched them to her office with a confident step. Her sharp, intelligent eyes and self-assured manner left the two women in no doubt that she knew what she was doing.

However, her message then as now, had not been the one they had wanted to hear….Kate would be required as a witness….it was essential to their case that she took the stand. If any other witnesses came forward in the meantime which would make Kate's appearance unnecessary, they would contact her but at present, Ms Brownlow thought it would be best that they use their time wisely to run Kate through the formal court procedure for a witness and present her with some possible questions she may face from the Defence.

It had been a daunting hour or so spent with the woman and one which had taken its emotional toll on Kate as she'd had to churn up memories and details that she would have much preferred to keep buried.

"I'm sorry you have to go through all this, Kate. Will you be alright? You do know that I will be there with you, don't you?" Caroline reassured her as she gave her hand a quick squeeze.

Kate gave a gentle squeeze back in response.

Eventually Caroline slowed the Jeep down almost to a stop and indicated as she turned into the entrance of the Shibden Mill Inn. She parked between her mother's Lexus and Gillian's Land Rover.

"Looks like we're the last to arrive….I'm blaming you and that kiss if anyone asks," Caroline laughed, hoping to shift the mood.

As Kate unfastened Flora's capsule from the back seat she defended her actions with, "It takes two to kiss, Caroline."

"Perhaps but you started it."

"No…you started it…you will insist on wearing that perfume…"

With no comeback for that, Caroline's only response was a guilty smile as they made their way to the entrance. It was true...she was well aware of the effect that that particular scent had on Kate and wore it often for that very reason.

Inside the restaurant Kate and Caroline were escorted to the table where the rest of the party was hungrily awaiting their arrival although they hadn't held off ordering some aperitifs. Caroline noted with relief that they had been placed in a more secluded alcove which would give them plenty of privacy as she had requested.

After the predictable teasing for arriving late and then some fussing over baby Flora, the two women took their seats. Before being left to mull over their menus, Caroline ordered two bottles of expensive champagne and five flutes to get the evening well and truly started.

oooOooo

Despite each and every one of them having had their differences at one time or another, the evening went well amidst the fine food, copious drinks had by some more than others and, at times, some rather raucous laughter, often at the expense of those who were not there to defend themselves.

'You're kidding me!" Gillian exclaimed in disbelief, "A motorbike and an ear-ring!"

Caroline nodded, barely able to contain her amusement.

While Gillian tried to imagine John in full leathers astride a motorbike, Celia asked, "What's he doing with a motorbike?"

"Trying to recapture his youth or at least someone's youth," Kate guessed, "I think he fancies himself as a young James Dean."

Celia shook her head in disapproval.

"He always was a total waste of space. I don't know why you ever went out with him in the first place."

_"Because you would have approved even less if I had brought a woman home,"_ Caroline wanted to say but instead she added, "Speaking of youth, he's got a girlfriend too…..she's 24 and, according to Lawrence, she's blonde with big boo…breasts."

"No!...No way!" Gillian gasped, "what's an old twat like him doing with a 24 year old?"

With that coming from Gillian, Caroline's first thought was "Pot, kettle, black" but she said, "My question exactly."

"Having lots of sex….or so Lawrence says," Kate threw in, much to everyone's noisy protests of disgust.

"And he's dyeing his hair….It's jet black," Caroline continued, "except, of course, for the balding bit at the crown which I don't think he's aware of…no amount of dye is going to fix that."

"Good Lord, next he'll be getting a full body wax," Gillian couldn't help but suggest which brought forth further loud expressions of absolute horror and revulsion and more laughter.

"Now there's a mental image I could have gone to my grave without," Celia muttered dryly.

It was only the arrival of dessert that saw them show John some mercy.

As Gillian scooped up another mouthful of her Baked Plum Crumble she looked over to Caroline and asked, "When's the stripper arriving?"

Caroline could feel the flush of discomfort creep up from the base of her neck and fill her cheeks. Noting the woman's obvious embarrassment, Gillian smirked and said, "It's okay, Caroline, I'm only joking….I don't want a stripper….They're not exactly in good taste….a bit too tacky really."

"I don't know," Celia piped up, "I wouldn't mind a stripper or perhaps a lap dancer."

"Mum!" was all Caroline could say as she felt the flush on her cheeks deepen. "Excuse me….I need to go to…." Caroline pointed in the direction of the ladies' bathroom. "I won't be long."

Discreetly making sure she had her phone in her hand, Caroline quickly made her way to the restroom, muttering to herself between clenched teeth. _"Damn it, Gillian! Make up your mind….I knew I shouldn't have bothered with a stripper…."_

Once inside the bathroom, she looked at the time on her phone and calculated that she had twenty minutes before the stripper was due to arrive. She rapidly found his contact number and called. There was no answer. Instead, she was forced to leave a voice message cancelling his services and promising payment for the inconvenience. In desperation, she also sent a text message. All she could do now was return to the party and hope that he received the messages before it was too late.

Seated back at the table, Caroline set about finishing her dessert, a delicious Crème Brulee, and tried not to feel foolish.

"What's the matter?" Kate asked quietly, sensing there was a problem.

Caroline managed to put a smile on her face as she replied, "Nothing. I'm fine….perhaps just a little too much champagne. Are you sure you're up to driving tonight?"

Kate ran a loving hand across her wife's back and nodded.

As more time passed, Caroline began to relax. It was almost an hour since she had left the messages and no stripper had appeared. She poured Gillian and herself another glass of champagne. Kate and Celia, as designated drivers, had reached their limit and Ellie was sticking with the sparkling water.

As they were about to 'chink' their glasses in yet another toast, a police officer approached their table. The table went silent as the women became aware of his presence. Caroline's immediate reaction was fear that there had been an accident and she began to panic then it struck her that things didn't look quite right…the cap was unmistakably fake, the shirt was too tight and frayed at the sleeves, the trousers were black leather and were so close-fitting that they had possibly been painted on.

It was Gillian who took the initiative and spoke up.

"Evening offic…..Ollie! What are you doing here in that get-up?…What are you? A copper?"

"Hi, babe….I mean Gillian. Sorry I'm late….flat battery….I'm the entertainment," Ollie announced with a demonstrative thrust of his pelvis which caused a variety of reactions around the table.

All eyes turned to Caroline who was now blushing like a beacon.

"You originally told me you wanted a stripper!" a flustered Caroline exclaimed, her hands thrown up in despair. "How was I to know you were joking….I tried to cancel but…"

"It's alright, Caroline…it's all good," Gillian assured her then turned to Ollie and asked, "What are doing working as a….an _'entertainer'_?"

"I thought I'd earn a bit of extra cash…not much money in serving cheese at Patterson's," he explained as he set up his music, "and, as they say, if you've got it, flaunt it. Besides, I've earned a bit of a reputation around the ridges…"

"_I bet you have_," Caroline muttered under her breath as she lifted her champagne glass to her lips.

"They call me The Stripper with the Big…"

"Ego," Gillian quickly cut in. "Come on then, if you're going to get your kecks off…Let's go, we haven't got all night."

With that prompt and the first few bars of Rhianna's "S &amp; M" their stripper went into action.

A confident Ollie danced suavely around each of the women at the table, bumping, grinding and shimmying which caused much nervous laughter and embarrassed 'Oh Nos'. However, the main focus of his attention was on Gillian as he saved his more seductive moves for her while simultaneously removing items of his clothing; first, his cap which he placed on Gillian's head, then his tie.

Caroline cringed as he ripped off his shirt and swirled it around Gillian's shoulders before dramatically flinging it aside to reveal a swoon-worthy torso. This was definitely making Caroline uncomfortable but she tried not to let it show. She didn't want to be that 'snotty bitch' Gillian had once accused her of being. Instead, she tried to take it all in her stride. As she looked around the table she could see that both Kate and Ellie were having a fit of the giggles. Gillian, at least, seemed to be thoroughly enjoying herself.

"Look at those buns," Celia pointed out, "you could bounce coins off those!"

"Mum!"

"What, love? It's just an observation," Celia claimed innocently.

Ollie stood near the head of the table, his back to his audience, suggestively swaying those leather-clad 'buns' for them until, with one firm tug from the front, the leather came away and there was nothing there but bare, cheeky flesh and the string portion of his leopard-print G-string.

Gillian let out shrill whistle of encouragement, Celia applauded, Kate and Ellie continued to giggle and Caroline winced. The heads and necks of other patrons were craning to see what all the commotion was about.

Ollie then did a slow, teasing about face before strutting his stuff to the beat of the music and purposefully showing off his assets. Gillian pulled two £10 notes from her purse and proceeded to securely tuck one of them into the front of Ollie's G-string as he straddled her lap. She went to hand the other note to Caroline who politely but firmly declined so Gillian added the second tenner herself. Celia was feeling particularly charitable as she lashed out and slipped a £20 note under the string at the side and Ellie added a fiver to the cause. Kate had used the excuse of a crying baby to conveniently abscond from the situation altogether.

Mercifully, Caroline thought, the music and the performance came to an end and after enthusiastic applause from a mostly appreciative audience, Ollie gratefully collected his money and his clothes and left the ladies to the rest of their evening.

"That was hilarious," Gillian said, clearly impressed by the show, "Thanks for that, Cazza."

Caroline could only shake her head in bemusement, still not quite believing she had put herself and others through that experience.

As heart rates and breathing returned to normal, Celia observed that it was getting late and suggested that it was probably time they were on their way, after all, there was a wedding to get through tomorrow. All were in agreement.

"If you all go and wait for me at the cars, I'll take care of the bill," Caroline offered as she took her wallet from her handbag.

"Are you sure?" Celia asked.

"Of course."

"I'm just going to duck to the loo….too much champagne and excitement," Gillian quickly explained before making her way in the direction of the bathrooms.

Dashing down the dimly lit hallway that led to the ladies' room, Gillian careered into a figure that had suddenly exited the men's bathroom. As she was about to apologise she realised that the figure was Ollie who was now dressed in slim-fitting jeans and a body-hugging polo shirt.

Rather than step out of her way, he moved a fraction closer and with a light touch of his finger he brushed several strands of her hair from in front of her eyes as he gave her a disarming smile and said, "You're looking very _hot_ tonight, babe."

"You didn't….don't look so bad yourself," she replied nervously, "It was good to see you …I mean…I have to go to the bathroom."

Ollie allowed Gillian to step past him and then he turned to follow.

"Where do you think you're going?" she demanded.

The smile had become salacious and there was a playful glint in his eye.

"I thought we could have one final fling before you 'go off the market' so to speak."

Almost but not quite immediately and unsure as to whether she was talking more to herself or to Ollie, she replied, "No…no, I can't. I'm getting married tomorrow…to Robbie." She then hurried herself into a cubicle and latched the door before temptation and her weak will had a chance to get the better of her.

oooOooo

Kate drove Caroline, Flora and Gillian back to the farm in the Jeep while Celia and Ellie followed behind in the Lexus. Somewhere along the way, someone would collect the Land Rover from the restaurant car park in the next day or two. It was unlikely that anyone would bother to steal it and good luck to them if they did.

As they filed into Gillian's kitchen, Kate offered to make cups of tea, however, all but Caroline preferred the idea of retiring straight to their respective beds.

Before going upstairs, Gillian asked Caroline, "Are you sure you and Kate will be alright sleeping on the settee? Do you need anything else?"

Caroline looked at the neat pile of blankets and pillows Gillian had left for them on the two sofas.

"We'll be fine. Thanks, Gillian….it's perfect. Now go to bed, you're getting married tomorrow…you need some sleep."

Swaying ever so slightly, Gillian did as she was told and climbed the stairs to her bedroom.

While Kate made the tea, Caroline tended to baby Flora. A nappy change was in order and then a cuddle. Caroline watched on in awe as Flora smiled up at her and then slowly drifted off to sleep in her arms.

As Kate placed the mugs of tea on the coffee table and sat down, Caroline carefully handed her their sleeping daughter and asked, "Do you mind holding her for a moment while I take Gillian a glass of water otherwise the woman's going to be hungover tomorrow?"

Holding a large glass of water in one hand, Caroline rapped lightly on the door to Gillian's bedroom.

"Are you still awake?" she whispered so as not to disturb the others.

"Yeah...Come in," was the rather despondent reply.

Caroline opened the door to find Gillian sitting on the side of the bed, her face in her hands and her shoulders stooped.

"I've brought you a glass of water….you should drink it. You don't want to be hungover on your big day," Caroline urged as she sat down on the bed beside her.

As Gillian took the glass from her, Caroline couldn't help but notice the sad expression on her face.

"What's the matter?

After a small sip of the water Gillian placed the glass on the bedside table.

"I don't know if I can go through with it, Caroline."

"With what?"

"The wedding…marrying Robbie."

Caroline didn't bother to hide her exasperated sigh.

"We've been through this, Gillian, and you decided it was what you wanted. What's the problem?"

"All I wanted was to go to the Register Office with immediate family and then have a small 'do' with them and a few friends somewhere local….somewhere nice….but Gary had to come along and stick his well-to-do beak in and now it's all bigger than Ben Hur with a marquee and hoity-toity food ….I'll feel like Lady Muck and I won't be able to relax…it's not like I'm the Virgin Mary getting married for the first time…"

Before she could stifle it, Caroline let out a laugh.

"It's not _that_ funny," Gillian responded indignantly, "and we have to go to Majorca for two whole weeks for our honeymoon. I bet there aren't even any sheep in Majorca…I don't know how I'll go not seeing the occasional swaledale for two weeks."

"Life's just full of crap," Caroline muttered sarcastically before adding, "Gillian, it's perfectly normal to get cold feet before your wedding day. You'll be fine."

"Did you have any doubts before you married Kate?"

"I was nervous….we both were…but I was always going to marry her."

"I don't know…I don't know." Gillian began to panic.

Caroline ran a soothing hand across the woman's shoulders.

"You'll wake up tomorrow and everything will be just fine, trust me. Now, get some sleep." Caroline stood up so Gillian could slip into bed.

As she went to the door Caroline added light-heartedly, "I think if I can go to all the effort of organising a stripper for your Hens' Party, the least you can do is turn up to your wedding….and, on the up side, if it doesn't work out you can always get a divorce_…..(or murder him)."_

Caroline closed the door behind her leaving Gillian to deal with her doubts.

oooOooo


	9. Chapter 9

"A Gift of Life"

Chapter 9

"Are you sure this is the right way?" Caroline asked doubtfully as she cautiously steered the Jeep, bedecked in all its wedding finery, along a narrow, pot-holed track bordered on either side by sentinel-like trees that loomed tall and directed one's vision along the tunnel of road ahead.

Gillian sat despondently in the passenger seat beside Caroline. Despite the elegant dress she wore and the make-up and hair she had had styled especially for the occasion, her mood wasn't quite that of the 'blushing bride.' Too many things felt wrong. Were they omens, Gillian couldn't help but wonder. Should she tell her Matron-of-Honour to turn the car around now and to inform everyone that there wasn't going to be a wedding?

All morning Caroline had patiently coaxed and coerced Gillian to get ready until finally, fed up with the mounting indecision, she threw her hands up in frustration and despair.

"Get married or don't, it makes no difference to me," Caroline told her fickle step-sister bluntly, "Just make up your mind one way or the other so we can all get on with our lives, simple as they are."

Now Gillian was sitting in the car which drove her towards a future she still wasn't totally certain was what she wanted. There was no doubt she wanted someone to love her and hold her, that she knew; what she wasn't sure of was whether or not she wanted them around all the time, constantly in her space. She had lived independently for so long with just the occasional dalliance here and there to relieve any pent-up tension, nothing binding, so now it was very begrudgingly she considered giving up that freedom. Then, of course, there was the _other _thing. What if one night she _did_ have too much to drink and told Robbie everything? Her freedom really would be on the line, not to mention possibly that of her dad and Caroline. The thought that maybe she _should _give serious consideration to the idea of giving up drinking altogether crossed her mind.

"I've only been here once before and that was at night….It all looks completely different by the light of day," Gillian replied, her words not giving Caroline any surety, "but I think so….I've followed the map, such as it is, to a 'T' so we should be right."

She spread out on her lap the rough map that Gary had sketched for her. She ran her hand across it a number of times to smooth out the heavy creases that had been created by her fidgety fingers constantly folding and unfolding it and retraced the route they had taken.

Gillian turned to Alan who was sitting in the backseat mindlessly gazing out the window, tuned out to his cantankerous daughter and with his thoughts a million miles away.

"Dad, are we going the right way do you think?"

"What, love?" he replied with a start.

"Is this the right road to His Royal Highness' palace?" she repeated a bit more loudly.

Choosing to ignore the disparaging comment, he looked around for familiar landmarks.

"It's hard to tell but I think so," he replied as he leaned forward to take a look at the map. "We should be getting close now…if we took right turn back at main road."

"Good Lord!"

Caroline's exclamation drew Alan and Gillian's attention away from the map and to the road ahead.

The line of trees had thinned enough to reveal an ornate wrought iron fence bordered with neatly manicured bushes and behind the fence, only a hundred metres or so in front of them was the house…a modest term for such an ostentatious dwelling… belonging to Gary Jackson and his family.

"He really does live in a mansion!" Caroline went on with a note of mild shock in her voice.

"I told you that," Gillian snapped, her pre-wedding jitters getting the better of her. "Did you think I was making it all up?"

"No…no," Caroline replied quickly, realising how her words must have sounded to a very wound up Gillian, "I thought you may have been exaggerating slightly but no….It certainly _is_ a mansion."

Caroline took a quick glimpse in the rearview mirror to check that the Lexus carrying her mum, Kate and Flora was still following and then slowed down even further as they approached the entrance. The more natural landscape now gave way to a very deliberate man-made creation. The imposing structure that was the house sat staunchly amidst a carpet of rich, green lawn in which many and varied garden beds had been strategically placed like bedazzling, precious stones set in a piece of carefully designed and crafted jewellery.

As Caroline nosed the car towards a parking area, Gillian looked out with trepidation at the scene around her. To her amazement at least fifty or so white chairs, each one decorated with a white, satin ribbon and a rose, had been set out in short rows on the expansive back lawn and most seats held a waiting guest. How many people had she and Robbie invited? Not that many, surely? As Gillian ran her eyes over the scene once again she realised that all but a few of the faces were unfamiliar to her.

Caroline alighted from the car and fetched the modest bouquets…one of the few things, apart from the dress, Gillian had been able to have any say in…from their protective box in the back and then, noticing that her passenger hadn't moved, went and opened the door for her.

"Who are all these people?" Gillian asked still not moving from her seat, "I don't know any of them. It looks like Gary has hired a RENT-A-CROWD in which case I'll kill him first for doing it and Robbie second for letting him…..No wedding and two funerals."

Knowing what she knew, it always made Caroline edgy when Gillian talked about killing people, even if it was only in jest.

Listening on, Alan momentarily sunk his face into his hands knowing, with despair, that it was highly likely that Gary, in an effort to impress, had done exactly that. He could see the potential for this wedding to become yet another in a long line of his daughter's embarrassing debacles.

"Come on, Gillian. Are you getting out of your own free will or do I need to get some muscle over here to assist you?" Caroline inquired as she stood by the opened passenger side door, her patience wearing ever so thin.

In spite of the look of petulance on her face, Gillian obeyed, stepping out of the car and standing beside her rather demanding Matron-of-Honour.

"If I'd known you were going to be this bossy I would have given the job to someone else," Gillian complained but there was the shadow of a smile on her lips.

"It's not too late," Caroline threatened as she handed Gillian her bouquet and repositioned some stray strands of the woman's hair.

Celia, accompanied by Kate who held Flora in her arms, came over to see what the delay was about.

"Everything alright?" she asked.

"Everything's fine, Celia," Gillian answered. "Do you have the ring, Caroline?"

Caroline patted the pocket of her jacket and could feel the presence of the plain gold band in its tiny, velvet pouch and she nodded.

Deciding that she had probably left it too late to turn back now and that there was nothing else for it other than to proceed as planned, Gillian managed to scrape together some enthusiasm.

"Okay, let's get this show on the road, for better or for worse, as they say. Celia, can you tell them we're ready?" Gillian asked.

"Are you sure?" Celia checked.

"Mum! You're not helping!"

"Oh, sorry," Celia replied but Caroline seriously doubted that she was as she caught the glimpse of mischief in her mother's eye. "I'll let them know things are about to start."

Before heading over to join the other guests, Kate gave her wife a brief kiss and a whispered "Good luck" to which Caroline responded with a weak, sceptical smile and a secretive roll of her eyes.

A narrow strip of deep red carpet formed a path dividing the rows of chairs into two sides. Rose petals had been strewn along its length. At one end stood a resigned Gillian, her arm tucked around her father's elbow ready to be led down the aisle. Caroline stood one or two paces behind them and was working on trying to look suitably cheerful. At the other end was a small, slightly elevated arbour where the celebrant and a very nervous groom waited in anticipation. As he watched his bride slowly make her way, step by step, towards him, Robbie could feel a fine sheen of perspiration settle on his forehead. He ran a finger around the collar of his shirt. All of a sudden it felt very tight. He tugged at his sleeves. His whole body felt constricted by the unfamiliar feel of the three-piece suit.

Gillian being Gillian, Robbie hadn't been at all confident that she would actually show up so it was with resounding relief that he was finally able to grasp her hand and make sure she didn't run….at least not until the formalities were over and everything was official.

As Caroline listened to the vows she couldn't help but think back to her own wedding day only a few months previous. Even though the room had been filled with family and friends it had seemed to her, as she had captured Kate's beautiful face in her gaze, that they stood there alone, two solitary figures making their promises and declaring their desire to spend the rest of their lives together, happily forsaking all others. Although she had rehearsed the scene in her head a thousand times, it had not prepared her for the intense intimacy and profound joy that openly expressing her love and devotion for Kate had brought her that day.

Now, as the words were being spoken once again, Caroline couldn't resist a glance over at her wife and, to her surprise and pleasure, she found Kate looking back at her with those wonderful, expressive eyes. Kate flashed her a generous smile, the warmth of which wrapped around Caroline's heart and sent it soaring.

Was Kate having similar thoughts, Caroline was in the middle of wondering when she became aware of Gillian's voice whispering to her, _"The ring, Caroline….the ring."_

Dragging herself back to the moment, Caroline took the velvet pouch from her pocket and passed Gillian the ring.

Against all odds the ceremony went off without a hitch and within a mercifully short amount of time, vows had been said, promises had been made and the final declaration of the couple now being husband and wife was made, followed by enthusiastic applause.

With the formal part of proceedings over, guests then steadily milled towards the large, white marquee that had been erected for the occasion and where champagne and hors d'oeuvres were being served by the waiting staff.

oooOooo

After acting as witness for the newly-weds on the official paperwork, Caroline was able to break free from her matronly duties for the time being and she too headed towards the marquee in search of Kate. As she stood in one of several entranceways scanning the gathering for her partner she couldn't help but take in the lavish surrounds. Gary must have spent a small fortune, Caroline couldn't help but think. Several circular tables had been arranged inside in preparation for the reception dinner. Each one was covered with a fine, white linen tablecloth and set with red and white linen serviettes, classic silverware and an array of fine glassware. The centre of each table boasted a generous arrangement of red and white roses which was contrasted with ropes of green ivy.

Hanging in the centre of the temporary room was an ornate chandelier dripping with tears of crystal and emanating from this centrepiece were countless strands of tiny, delicate lights that radiated towards the outer edges. The main table also held a profusion of red and white roses and tall, tapered candles of white and gold to provide a more romantic lighting.

A group of five musicians who stood inconspicuously in a corner playing chamber music provided the entertainment. It was all very impressive but Caroline couldn't help thinking that some hay bales and a juke box probably would have sufficed.

Eventually Caroline spotted Kate coming through one of the other entrances and heading towards Alan and Celia who were seated at a table taking care of both Emily-Jane and Flora for the moment. It was just as Caroline was about to make her way towards them that a woman stopped her in her tracks.

"Champagne?" the woman asked as she held up a glass of golden bubbles for Caroline's taking.

Although she would have much preferred to leave the champagne and the woman to go and join her wife, out of politeness and because it didn't seem she had much choice, Caroline accepted the glass and gave the woman a courteous smile and an accompanying 'thank you.' Having accepted the champagne however, Caroline knew that she was now obliged to spend some time conversing.

"I'm Felicity….Felicity Jackson, Gary's wife….Gillian's sister-in-law of sorts I suppose," she offered by way of introduction.

"Oh, hello." Caroline proffered her hand which the woman ignored in favour of boldly placing a kiss on her cheek instead, causing Caroline to blush with surprise. "I'm…"

"Caroline….Celia's daughter," Felicity laughed. "I know who you are. You don't think I kiss every beautiful woman I see do you?"

Caroline could feel the red of her cheeks deepening. "Yes…I mean 'no'…..I mean 'yes' I am Caroline, Celia's daughter and ….um…I don't really know you well enough to say whether you make a habit of kissing strangers or not."

"Believe me, I don't," Felicity smiled and then inquired, "Is your wife here with you?"

"Kate…yes, she is," Caroline replied a little more enthusiastically, "she's over there with Alan and my mum and our daughter, Flora…Flora Grace."

Felicity followed Caroline's line of sight to see the woman and child she was referring to.

"They're both very beautiful," Felicity finally remarked after taking some time to watch Kate as she playfully bounced the baby girl on her knee.

"Yes, they are," Caroline agreed as she maintained her gaze in their direction long enough to catch Kate's eye and give an affectionate smile which hopefully telegraphed her desire to be with her.

Felicity took a quick sip of her champagne and then continued. "Is it true that before you married Kate you were married to a man …John…for nearly twenty years?"

Rather taken aback by the woman's directness and wealth of knowledge about her personal life, Caroline could only nod and answer with a simple 'Yes, I was' while wondering where she had acquired her information.

"And now you're married to a woman….." More of a statement than a question.

Her curiosity piqued, Caroline said, "You seem to know an awful lot about me. Do you mind if I ask who told you all of this?"

"Alan's wife, Celia….your mother….We were discussing….um, things…over dinner at Gillian's place one evening and the subject came up," Felicity answered reluctantly, realising she should have perhaps been a bit more subtle although she had never quite mastered the art.

"Oh, were you?" Caroline replied a little tersely as she made a mental note to have words with her mother about letting her tongue run so loose.

Felicity drained the last of her champagne in time to snatch a fresh glass from a passing waiter. She gave Caroline a look that asked if she too would like another but Caroline held up her drink to indicate that she had barely touched the one she had.

Not noticing or, at least, choosing to ignore Caroline's discomfort with the conversation, Felicity carried on along the same vein.

"I find it intriguing that you were married to a man for so long and then fell in love with a woman."

Fortunately, at the moment however, Caroline wasn't paying full attention to the woman's babbling. In her desperation to escape, Caroline had glanced over at Kate once again hoping to be rescued but to her astonished delight she was greeted with a look expressing a very different intent. Quite obviously there was more than a rescue mission on Kate's mind.

Unaware that she had lost her audience, Felicity continued on.

"Although I can't say that I blame you."

"Pardon?" Caroline asked trying to pick up the dropped thread of the conversation.

"For jumping the fence….especially when you look at the alternative….Most men are completely incompetent when it comes to…the important things."

Caroline gave a cursory nod in an effort to maintain a semblance of interest in the banter as she managed to steal another look over at her wife. Kate's gaze was fixed on her with eyes narrowed and giving off sparks from a rather salacious glint. Her enticing mouth held just a hint of a mischievous grin as she moistened her lower lip slowly and deliberately with the tip of her tongue exclusively for Caroline's benefit.

Caroline wasn't sure if it was the balmy summer weather, the stuffiness of the marquee or the effect of her wife's sultry stare but she was definitely starting to feel very warm.

"What's it like?" Caroline heard the woman's voice asking as she dragged her attention back to the conversation but the distraction had caused her to lose track yet again.

"Pardon?"

"Being married to another woman," Felicity repeated, "what's it like?"

Caroline took a moment to ponder the question. Dare she explain to this woman how incomprehensibly delicious it is to feel the sensual touch of another woman's lips pressed against your own in a searing kiss that surges particles of excitement to every extremity as does her insistent tongue as it gently insinuates its way into your mouth or, better still, those same lips and tongue ardently caressing and cajoling each nipple until they are set hard with desire, your back arching sharply as you can't help but crave more of her touch. Her lithe fingers, knowing exactly what it is she needs to do, glide into your wetness, teasing and tantalizing, as the burgeoning excitement draws your gasps and moans as you snatch at the air between the waves of pleasure. At that point she holds your body suspended at such erotic heights, like a kite straining against its string, while your mind floats effortlessly in a trance of growing rapture, as she further entices you towards that final, ultimate release when her name bursts from deep within your chest and the euphoria envelops you entirely, moving you to your core. Then she effortlessly eases you back to earth as you surrender into her loving embrace.

Caroline realised her train of thought was probably a result of the rather pleasurable effects of her wife's voyeuristic attentions and decided it was best to perhaps censor her answer a little.

"Oh, I see," Caroline said as she scrambled her thoughts together. "I don't really think it's about being married to a man or a woman …."

Felicity gave her a look of confusion so she explained further.

"It's about being married to the one person you want to be with forever….the one person you truly love and trust…..speaking of whom, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to join my wife. It's been lovely to meet you."

Considering herself excused, Caroline placed her half-empty champagne flute on the nearest table, gave Felicity a polite smile and made her way towards Kate, leaving the woman to contemplate the wisdom of her words while she, herself, chased the source of her more primal thoughts.

With her mind firmly focussed on catching up with Kate and insisting she make good on the promise her flirting had inferred, Caroline was blissfully unaware of another set of admiring eyes that were upon her. Felicity observed the provocative sway of Caroline's hips and the fabulous contour of those shapely legs with intense and unabashed interest as the woman walked away from her.

oooOooo

On reaching the other side of the marquee, Caroline leant over, scooped Flora gently from Kate's arms into her own and spent a maternal moment or two conversing with her daughter before carefully passing her to Celia and sidling up next to her wife.

"Mum, are you and Alan able to mind Flora for a little while?" she asked hastily as she took a proprietary clasp of Kate's hand and was wanting to turn and head towards an exit.

"Of course, love," Celia answered and then inquired, "Where are you two off to?"

Uncertain as to what was happening exactly, Kate too, was curious as to the response.

"Nowhere," Caroline replied and then, registering that she was being a bit too ambiguous, added, "there's just been a bit of an emergency inside. " Caroline pointed towards the house. "Nothing to worry about really."

"Oh! What's happened? Are you sure you don't need me? Alan could stay here and look after….."

"No, mum," Caroline cut in before it all got out of hand, "Kate and I will be able to take care of it. You just wait here. We'll be back shortly."

Before any more questions could be asked, Caroline led her confused wife out of the marquee and in the general direction of the house. Kate had to make her step lively in order to keep up with her captor's determined stride.

As they reached the rear entrance to the house, Kate finally managed to ask, "What's happened?"

"I'll tell you when we're inside," was all Caroline would say as she hurriedly opened the door.

Not too far inside the house was the kitchen where today a company of cooks and their assistants busily flitted to and fro as they kept up the supply of appetizers and prepared for the reception dinner later that evening.

Normally Caroline would have been intrigued by such an impressive display of shiny bench tops and electrical appliances in Felicity's state-of-the-art kitchen but, at the moment, she had more urgent matters to attend to so, instead, she continued on until they came to what was quite possibly the living room. They halted at the bottom of a staircase that led up to the next level.

Tired of being left in the dark, Kate asked once again, "Caroline, what's this emergency you're going on about?"

Suddenly Kate found herself caught in a full embrace with Caroline's lips pressed against her own, kissing her so tenderly yet so full of longing that she almost became light-headed.

"You're the emergency," she explained with a smile upon release, "so you can understand why I didn't want my mother with us."

"Me?"

"You were flirting with me something shocking back there in the marquee when I was trying to have a conversation with that Felicity woman….or, more accurately, she was trying to have a conversation with me."

"Flirting with you? I'm sure I don't know what you mean," Kate replied with a pretence at innocence but that mischievous grin had re-appeared giving her away completely.

"No use denying it," Caroline insisted as she trailed a line of feathery kisses along the nape of Kate's slender neck, "I won't believe you."

"Guilty as charged," Kate confessed in a breathy whisper as Caroline's palm cupped her breast, "but I wasn't the only one flirting with you."

This time it was Caroline's turn to look puzzled.

"What on earth do you mean?'

"That woman you were talking to…."

"Felicity?….. Gary's wife?"

"Ah ah…..She was _very_ interested."

"No!"

Kate couldn't help a gentle, amused laugh at Caroline's obliviousness to it all.

"Don't tell me you didn't notice?"

"I didn't," Caroline insisted and then, getting her mind back on track as to why they were here, she added, "anyway, she can flirt all she wants, there's only one woman I'm interested in. Now surely there has to be one room in this huge house where we can have some privacy."

"What did you have in mind exactly?" Kate asked, not quite believing what she thought might be her wife's intentions.

Caroline leant in closer and whispered in Kate's ear, the warm flurry of Caroline's breath teasing her, arousing her.

"Won't that be technically difficult?" Kate replied with a blush as she looked around to ensure there was nobody within earshot.

I'm sure we'll think of something," she replied, her voice slightly raspy and those blue eyes playful but gilded with an edge of daring.

Caroline took Kate's hand and led her up the stairs.

The first room they came to was in darkness with only the smallest amount of afternoon sunshine able to pierce through the thin gaps in the heavy drapes providing weak slits of light. The distinct musty smell of age and dampness hung in the air like a shroud. As their eyes adjusted they could make out a clutter of antique dressers, chairs, desks and the like arranged in no particular order and taking up most of the space….a store room of sorts for the excess or yet to be placed furniture...not quite what the two women were in need of so Caroline quickly closed the door and they slipped further along the hallway.

At the next door, Caroline cautiously turned the handle and slowly opened it just enough to allow a peek inside. Once she was certain that there was no one else present she opened it a bit further and they both crept in feeling a bit like two truant teenagers looking for a place to spend their day as they abscond from school.

Heavy curtains also darkened this room but they had been drawn slightly allowing sufficient sunlight to enter for them to look around at what appeared to be a spare bedroom. Unlike most of the other rooms in the house, it was sparsely furnished and of no particular style. A basic king-sized bed had its head up against the far wall. On each side of it was a simple bedside table on which sat a very standard lamp. Almost the entire length of the opposite wall had been turned into a wardrobe with two, fully-mirrored sliding doors which made the room appear much larger than it actually was. The only other furnishings were an armchair of no significance and a rather tired-looking rug.

Now that they were finally alone and had some privacy, it was Kate who stole the initiative. She closed the door behind her and with one simple move, pinned Caroline to the back of it with the gentle but assertive press of her body. As Kate tipped her wife's chin up to meet her gaze, Caroline instantly recognised that same sultry expression on her face and felt that familiar leap of response as her heart rate quickened perceptibly.

"What was it exactly you wanted me to do?" Kate asked as she raised Caroline's hand to her mouth and pressed a lingering kiss against the palm. The very thought of what Kate might do and the tease of her partner's open mouth now raking along the sensitive skin on the inside of her wrist provoked a fleeting moan of anticipation.

Although she always enjoyed the thrill of the chase, the notion that they didn't have a lot of time to waste before they would be expected back at the wedding prompted Kate into more direct action as she hurriedly removed the light jacket Caroline was wearing, dropping it carelessly to the floor so her hands were free to unzip the back of the dress.

With the top half of the dress loosened, Kate was able to ease away the shoulders of it to expose Caroline's intricately-patterned bra. After a brief, admiring glance, she put her mouth to the silk of it, feeling for her nipple, drawing at her breast. Amidst the commotion Kate was creating there, Caroline also sensed the press of her partner's hand between her thighs, the motion of her fingers making her dress slide against the silk of her underwear, the friction setting her on fire. Caroline's neck was craned back and her eyes shut tight as she swam in the divine pleasure of it all.

Suddenly all movement stopped. Caroline opened her eyes to see what the matter was.

"What's that noise?" Kate asked in a hushed voice but before Caroline could say the words they both knew the answer.

Someone…a woman, they presumed from the distinct clip of high heels on the parquetry floor of the hallway…..was heading towards the room.

Considering their compromising situation, their 'fight or flight' instinct took over. Both women looked around the room desperate for a place to hide then looked back at one another, each with the same idea as they made an urgent dash towards the wardrobe, Caroline, at the last minute, remembering to grab her discarded jacket.

Kate had just managed to slide the wardrobe door all but shut when a shadowy figure entered the room. Through the narrow gap Kate had allowed when closing the wardrobe door (for, like everybody, she had been taught as a child never to shut herself inside a wardrobe….a lesson she'd taken to heart) the two women peered nervously into the room. As their eyes adjusted to the low level of light they could see that their interloper was indeed a woman….Felicity Jackson. They watched silently from their refuge between the line of designer suits and elegant gowns, as she moved around the end of the bed, opened the drawer of one of the bedside tables and removed some items from it. The woman then sat down on the bed and carefully tipped the contents of a small bag onto the smooth surface of the table. It wasn't until she picked up a small, plastic card and started chopping vigorously at the tabletop that Kate and Caroline suddenly became fully aware of what Felicity was doing. They looked at each other in mute astonishment then looked back into the room in time to see her bend over the table and with a short, silver tube which she put first to one nostril and then the other, inhale deeply leaving no trace of the lines of white powder behind.

Unaware that she was being observed, Felicity brushed away any possible evidence from the end of her nose then put the bag, the card and the silver tube back into its place in the drawer, rose from the bed and stretched, taking another set of deep breaths as she did so and then walked towards the wardrobe.

Kate felt the already firm grip Caroline had on her forearm tighten painfully and held back the urge to wince. If Felicity was to open the wardrobe now, it could quite possibly be one of the most embarrassing situations of their collective lives.

As Felicity approached their hiding place, Kate closed her eyes and dared to hope that they wouldn't be discovered but, unable to stand the suspense, she soon opened them again. Fortunately, it was only to see Felicity standing at the end of the bed, admiring herself in the mirrored door of the wardrobe. Both Kate and Caroline hardly dared blink for fear of making a noise and alerting Felicity to their presence. Instead, they froze in position, their eyes still able to see out into the room.

Felicity continued to regard herself in the mirror, turning and twisting this way and that, her facial expression reflecting varying degrees of satisfaction. Suddenly she stood stock still, staring rigidly ahead. Inside the wardrobe both women's hearts stopped. Had Felicity spotted them? However, to their momentary relief, Felicity visibly relax again and her focus shifted. Whatever had caught her attention had faded. Who knew what it was in her heightened state? Her fingers then went to the zip on the side of her soft, flowing trousers and slowly released it, eventually allowing them to fall away and collect at her ankles in a pool of silky, cream-coloured crepe. Kate and Caroline watched with increasing trepidation as she began to steadily unbutton her blouse until it too was removed and dropped at her feet. She stood before her hidden audience in only her delicate and obviously expensive underwear.

_"Oh God, she's going to reach in here for a change of clothes," Caroline thought to herself with a cringe. It was inevitable that they were going to be discovered._

Felicity gracefully stepped out of the pile of abandoned clothing but instead of heading for the wardrobe as feared, she crawled onto the bed, plumped up a pillow and lay on her back, shifting around slightly until she was comfortable.

Keen for Felicity to leave the room so they could exit this ridiculous and, quite frankly, undignified situation, Caroline was both disappointed and bewildered that the woman had chosen this time to take a nap, especially considering the large dose of recreational drugs she had just indulged in.

Caroline put her mouth very close to Kate's ear and whispered, "What is she doing?"

There was no need for Kate to attempt to answer. It became alarmingly obvious only a few seconds later as they watched Felicity slowly start to massage her own breasts with one hand while she spread her legs and slipped the other hand beneath the delicate fabric of her knickers moving it in steady, deliberate strokes which soon drew several sighs of illicit pleasure.

Feeling like they were trapped in a B-grade porn movie which they were unable to escape, Caroline and Kate stayed hidden but, like witnesses to a train wreck, it was difficult for them to avert their eyes to what was happening. Behind her, Kate could feel Caroline's body shaking with silent laughter brought on by both the awkwardness and the absurdity of the situation they had landed themselves in.

Oblivious to her partly amused, partly mortified audience, Felicity continued on until it became clear that the end was nigh as her 'Oh Gods' now followed each other in rapid succession and her hips began to rise and fall erratically.

Finally she brought herself to a rapturous peak with one last loud dramatic cry. "Oh Caroline!"

oooOooo


	10. Chapter 10

"A Gift of Life"

Chapter 10

Agog with surprise that was tainted with faint horror as she heard Felicity call out her name at the height of her arousal, Caroline couldn't restrain a soft but shocked, "Good God."

Kate instantly pressed a dark finger against her wife's mouth to stifle any further comments and mimed a silent 'sshh' while keeping a tight rein on her own "I told you so" that desperately wanted to escape her lips.

Nervously the pair peered out through the narrow gap at their end of the sliding doors of the wardrobe to see if the noise had been sufficient to alert Felicity to their presence. However, to what seemed like their extremely good fortune, the woman had been too caught up in the throes of her self-induced pleasure to hear anything above her own salutary cries as she remained blissfully unaware of her captive audience.

Eventually Felicity's revelry subsided, the writhing ceased and after taking a moment to regain her composure, Kate and Caroline watched as she slowly eased herself off the bed and gave her body a full, self-satisfied stretch.

_"__What a strange woman." Caroline thought to herself._

Both Caroline and Kate had then assumed or, at the very least, hoped that Felicity would now put her clothes back on and leave the room, so it was with renewed dread that they watched her ignore her previous outfit that lay on the floor and pad barefoot across to the wardrobe.

_Shit! She's going to put on a different outfit for dinner, Caroline realised with rapidly increasing trepidation._

Inside the wardrobe and without making a sound, Kate and Caroline pressed themselves as far back as they dare. They each took a deep breath and held it tightly.

Caroline could hear her blood gushing in her ears and could feel her heart racing in chest. She attempted to steady it as the last thing she needed right now was to have a heart attack.

Try as she might, she could think of no satisfactory way out of this mess that her lustful desire for her wife had inadvertently found them in. There was no obvious or even not-so-obvious explanation that they could possibly give Felicity as to why she and Kate were standing knee-deep in bags of vacuum-sealed clothing in the back of her wardrobe if and when she opened the door and found them there; there was no way of talking themselves out of such an embarrassing situation and no way of denying what they had heard and seen. It would be humiliation and red faces all round. They were all just going to have to agree never to mention the predicament to anyone EVER, although Caroline could see the potential in years to come….many years to come….for them to look back and have a laugh at the whole situation.

Caroline considered that maybe it would be better and they could preserve a little pride if they stepped out of the wardrobe now and owned up rather than have Felicity open the door and find them both cowering behind the expensive suits.

She was about to signal her intention to Kate when, all of a sudden, the door at the other end of the wardrobe slid part way across in front of them, putting them in almost complete darkness.

Hidden by the line of suits, they sensed rather than saw Felicity flick through a number of the dresses and gowns that hung at the other end of the rail and eventually remove one of them. They then watched in disbelief as the door slid shut again, their presence miraculously going undetected.

As they slowly, carefully began to breathe again, Caroline and Kate stared at one another in wide-eyed amazement, each of them now daring to think that perhaps they might escape with their dignity intact after all.

Felicity removed the dress she had chosen from its protective, plastic sheath and its hanger, undid the zip and stepped into it. She then removed her bra as she no longer needed it and tossed it onto the pile of discarded clothes on the floor. The dress had a halter-style neck tie which she fastened and then closed the short zip at the back. Like the previous outfit she'd worn that day, this one was full-length, free-flowing and of a similar, pale aqua colour. It was very summery with its plunging neckline revealing a provocative amount of cleavage, her shoulders bare and a considerable amount of bare back as well.

After using the mirror to make a few small adjustments here and there to her outfit, Felicity unexpectedly strode towards the wardrobe once again.

_Caroline gave Kate a look that asked, "What the hell does she want now?" as they each took a second deep breath and tried to quell the renewed panic. "Oh! Of course….Shoes!" _

Just as Felicity was about to slide back the door once again, she stopped, turned back and made a decision. The shoes she had worn that morning would suffice.

Unable to believe their luck, Kate and Caroline watched as Felicity went back to the pile of discarded clothes at the end of the bed, picked up from amongst them the pair of shoes she'd been wearing and slipped them on. She considered her choice for a moment and decided they were a suitable match.

After tidying her hair and checking her make-up, Felicity took one final look in the mirror to assure herself that all was as it should be. Satisfied that all was good, she headed for the door.

Despite the urgent need to escape their confinement, Caroline and Kate waited what seemed like an interminable minute or two to make sure Felicity was well gone before sliding open the wardrobe door and with almost as much relief as two divers on their last breath reaching the surface, they finally stepped out.

Wordlessly and with their pulses still racing, the two women also did a quick spot check in the mirror and straightened their slightly crumpled clothes….Kate hurriedly zipped up the back of Caroline's dress…and then they too made for the door.

Caroline cautiously opened it and checked in each direction down the hallway. Convinced that the coast was clear, she ventured out and signaled for Kate to follow. Although the urge to run was almost overwhelming, in order to remain inconspicuous they forced themselves to walk albeit at a faster than normal pace as they retraced their route back down the stairs, through the kitchen that was now bustling with staff carrying meals back and forth, across the lawn and eventually stopped just outside an entrance to the marquee. Looking inside, they could see that guests had taken their assigned seats and meals were being placed on the tables.

It suddenly struck them how very lucky they had been in successfully avoiding an extremely awkward situation. The two women looked at each other and immediately collapsed in each other's arms in a fit of uncontrollable laughter brought on as much by their sense of reprieve as the thought of what had actually happened.

"What's so funny?"

Caroline released her hold on Kate, ran a finger under each eye to remove any mascara that her tears of laughter may have caused to run and turned around to see a puzzled and slightly concerned Celia peering at them.

"Oh, it's nothing, Mum," Caroline replied with a dismissive wave of her hand as she struggled to regain her self-control, "It's just…..nothing…"

Kate, too, attempted to hide her amusement by covering her mouth with her hand but the upturned edges of her lips gave her broad smile away as did the mischievous sparkle in her eye.

Having to accept for the moment that they weren't going to share the joke with her, Celia said, "We've been looking everywhere for you….the reception is about to start and Gillian wants you up at the main table."

"Sorry, Mum. We were unavoidably detained," Caroline said apologetically but still with a burble of laughter behind her words, "Would you mind telling Gillian I'll be there in just a moment, please."

Hardly satisfied with that excuse…..Did they think she had been born yesterday?... But not wanting to fall out with them here and now, Celia was about to turn and deliver the message when she stopped and asked, "Where's your jacket, Caroline? Weren't you wearing a jacket before?"

Caroline tried to keep the sudden panic out of her face as she gave Kate a quick sideways glance and then replied weakly, "I took it off inside. I'll fetch it later."

With at least that mystery solved, Celia headed off to inform Gillian that Caroline had been found and would join them shortly.

As soon as her mother was out of earshot, Caroline turned to Kate and in a flustered whisper exclaimed, "I've left my jacket in the wardrobe!"

"Should we go back and find it?" Kate suggested without any sort of real conviction for the idea, "I could go back and get it while everyone is busy eating."

Caroline thought for a moment and then replied resignedly, "No, leave it there. It will probably be ages before Felicity even discovers it, if ever, and she won't know how it got there. We're not going back to that room….ever."

oooOooo

The remainder of the evening was comparatively uneventful. As Matron-of-Honour, Caroline was placed at the main table beside Gillian who was looking much more relaxed now that the formalities were over and with the help of the free-flowing champagne which Caroline had noticed with a sense of dismay, the bride had taken full advantage of. Having had more than enough excitement for one day, Caroline had decided to stick to the sparkling water that was provided on each table.

Kate had been seated at the table immediately in front of the main one and shared it with Celia and Alan as well as Raff and Ellie. Fortunately, Gary and Felicity were at another table with guests Caroline didn't recognise…..friends of Robbie or Gary's perhaps.

With the remnants of the meal cleared away, the speeches delivered and the happy couple saluted with a number of toasts, the hired DJ began to play a more lively set of music and guests, as well as the bridal party, were enticed from their seats and up onto the dance floor.

It had been a long, exhausting day one way and another so at the earliest opportunity Kate and Caroline prepared to leave, citing the long drive home and having a small baby to take care of as their reason for not staying and partying on.

Before going, they did the rounds of good-byes, firstly to Celia and Alan who would be spending the next two weeks at the farm while Gillian and Robbie were away on their honeymoon in Majorca and then to Raff and Ellie and, of course, little Emily-Jane.

It was while they waited at the edge of the dance floor for an appropriate moment to say farewell to Gillian and Robbie that the first familiar and poignant chords of the song, "Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow," began to play.

Kate turned to her wife, capturing her salient blue eyes in her gaze, extended her hand and whispered softly, "Do you want to dance?"

With all the memories of that Christmas and the feeling of happiness that the tune never failed to evoke, Caroline could only clasp Kate's outstretched hand and nod her consent as her voice constricted with emotion and inexorable tears threatened to spill.

In return, Kate gave her the most loving of smiles and then led her to join the other couples on the dance floor where she subtly guided Caroline's arms around her waist before gently drawing her wife's lips to her own and capturing them in a tender, lingering kiss as they let the words and tune of the song sweep them back to that night when all had been forgiven and their life together had truly started.

Inevitably the song came to an end and as people left the dance floor Caroline and Kate managed to attract Gillian and Robbie's attention in order to say goodnight. Amidst the hugs and kisses to the cheeks, promises to call and catch up when the pair returned from their honeymoon were made and then the two women were finally ready to leave.

They collected their goods and chattels as well as baby Flora who they had left with Celia and headed for the Jeep.

"Shouldn't we say good-bye to Gary and Felicity?" Kate suggested warily as they were about to leave the marquee.

"I suppose it would be impolite not to," Caroline replied weakly, "however, I'm not sure I can talk to the woman and keep a straight face…not after…you know…what we saw…heard."

"It would be a bit rude if we didn't," Kate added as she struggled with her good manners and her desire to leave, "do you think they'd notice if we …"

Their decision was made for them as they heard a voice not too far away calling out, "Caroline! Kate! Are you leaving already?"

The two women had no choice now but to stop and wait as Felicity approached them.

"Are you going?" Felicity repeated as she joined them.

"Yes, I'm afraid we have to," Caroline replied using a considerable amount of restraint as she felt another bout of laughter boiling below the surface. "It's quite a long drive home at this hour and, well, Flora gets tired and cranky if she's up too late so we need to put her to bed."

"You could sleep here for the night if you want to stay and party," Felicity generously offered, "there's plenty of spare bedrooms…..and I'm sure we have a cot somewhere for Flora."

Both Kate and Caroline were forced to look away for a second while they tightened control on the giggles that threatened to break free. Kate found her composure first.

"That's very kind of you, Felicity, but we both have things we have to do back in Harrogate first thing in the morning so we'd best be off….Thank you for a lovely day….evening….day."

Felicity unexpectedly grasped the hand of each woman, kissed them both on the cheek and with their hands still held she stood back a little and beamed a smile at them.

"You two make such a beautiful couple…Hopefully your example will encourage others to come out of the closet."

The mention of the word 'closet' was almost too much for both women. They needed to leave and quickly.

Most helpfully, it was at this moment that a tired, hungry baby Flora decided to express her discontent at being ignored as she broke out into loud, demanding cries.

"We'd better go," Caroline stated as she pointed towards the car. "Say goodnight to Gary for us."

"Oh, Caroline, before you go, didn't you have a jacket? You haven't forgotten it have you?"

Thinking quickly, Caroline replied, "It's in the Jeep….I was a bit warm so I took it off."

"Oh…Okay…and remember you're welcome to come again anytime…Bye…Bye-bye."

With Flora in tow, Kate and Caroline rushed to in the direction of the driveway where the car was parked.

Once Flora was safely secured in the back seat and Kate and Caroline were sitting up front, both women took one look at each other and for the second time in as many hours collapsed into fresh peals of laughter.

oooOooo

The McKenzie-Dawson household woke up on the Sunday to a morning of drizzling showers and a sunless sky which made the world beyond the window appear in monochromatic shades of grey. By early afternoon the gloom had set in and the rain was constant and heavy.

Lawrence and Lily had planned to visit for Sunday lunch which Caroline had been looking forward to. During the week she had bought all the makings of a traditional Sunday roast. However, late in the morning she received a phone call from her son explaining that because of the rotten weather they thought it best to not to venture out and asked if they could make it the following Sunday instead. Completely understanding but nonetheless disappointed, Caroline assured them that she wasn't upset with them and that she looked forward to catching up with them next week.

Instead of the roast beef she had planned, Caroline prepared a simple lunch of soup, cheese and some crusty bread.

As the day dragged on the house seemed to take on the dreariness of the weather with only Flora's antics acting as a lively distraction from the heavy mood that had gradually enveloped them. Both women knew that it was as much the prospect of what lay ahead of them with the trial starting the next day as the rainy weather that had subdued their spirits but neither was willing to open that can of worms. Caroline didn't want to make Kate dredge up the disturbing memories of that day any sooner than absolutely necessary and Kate didn't want Caroline worrying about her. However, all of their hesitation and avoidance was in vain as Kate nevertheless spent most of the day mulling over the accident, wondering what it was they expected her to come up with that wasn't already in the witness statements police had collected at the time while Caroline kept a sharp-eyed vigil on Kate to make sure she didn't become too upset or depressed.

Throughout the course of the day they had tried all manner of distraction, from attempting to watch movies and read books…..Caroline rang her mother….twice…..while Kate sorted through Flora's baby clothes making a bundle of those she had already grown out of...At one stage, they even resorted to some house-cleaning but inevitably Kate's thoughts settled on both the accident and the trial and the distraught expression on her face caused Caroline great concern.

Every so often during the day Caroline had ventured to ask, "Are you alright?" to which Kate unfailingly answered, "I'm fine."

Although Caroline wasn't convinced for a minute that she was actually fine, there was little more she could do.

It wasn't until that night, when they both lay in bed with the rain still rat-a-tatting on the roof, that Kate's restlessness finally convince Caroline that they needed to talk.

She rolled over to face her wife, putting an arm across her hip and drew herself in close as she whispered, "Why won't you let me help you through this?"

"What do you mean?" Kate asked quietly, hearing the hurt in her partner's voice.

"I know you're worried about tomorrow and the trial but you won't talk to me about it….you just keep saying you're fine when I know perfectly well that you're not."

There was a long silence. Caroline thought that Kate may have fallen asleep but then she heard a soft, almost desperate voice reply, "I don't know how you can help me, Caroline. You can't undo what has happened….You can't make it go away…..It's something that is going to be with me for the rest of my life and talking about it doesn't make it any easier."

Caroline took a moment to plump up her pillow and then turned to lie on her back. Kate instinctively rolled towards her and lay her head on her wife's chest, letting her enfold her in her arms.

"You're right, I can't do anything to make it go away but you do know that if I could I would…but I can love you and be there for you whenever you want me or need me," Caroline assured her, "Will you let me do that?"

Kate wrapped a leg around Caroline's and moved in that fraction closer until there was nothing between them…until they shared the same heartbeat and the same breath.

"I won't lie to you, Caroline, I find it incredibly difficult to think about the accident even now, but I survived and I have you and I have Flora which is more than anyone could ask for …and knowing that is what keeps me strong and forever grateful…so I might get upset but in the end I _will _be fine…."

Kate's words gradually petered out and it wasn't long before her limbs lay limp across her wife's body and her only movement was the gentle rise and fall of her chest. She'd fallen asleep. Caroline placed a light kiss on the top of her head and continued to gently stroke her hair, loving every tiny particle of this beautiful woman.

oooOooo

Janet Brownlow, smartly dressed in her black knee-length skirt, matching blazer and crisp, white blouse and presenting her confident, self-assured smile, met Kate and Caroline at the top of the steps outside the Harrogate Magistrates' Court building.

After the usual polite greetings and enquiries as to how each was doing, she asked the two women to follow her inside. Her sensible, black leather shoes made a distinct 'clip-clop' on the polished floor as opposed to the tapping of Caroline's heels and the muted padding of Kate's flats as all three walked towards the courtroom where the trial was to be held. Ms Brownlow was the lawyer assisting the prosecution's barrister, Earl Cowley.

Outside each courtroom were several, very basic-looking seats. The padding on them looked rather thin and the backs very straight. Not at all inviting. It was outside courtroom number four that Ms Brownlow indicated to Kate and Caroline to take one of these seats while she explained to them what would happen.

"Judge O'Hanlon is the District Court judge who will be presiding over the trial. Kate, you will need to wait here until one of the court's officers calls your name and comes to fetch you. He will then take you through that door…" Ms Brownlow pointed to a side door rather than the main door. "…to the dock where you will be sworn in."

"Will I be able to stay here with her?" Caroline inquired as she held her wife's hand firmly in her own.

"Of course. You're not part of the case so that should be fine," Ms Brownlow informed the relieved couple. "But if you do want to go inside to the gallery you will need to use that main door there." Again she pointed to the appropriate door. "Is there anything else you would like to ask me before we start?"

Both women thought for a minute before Caroline shook her head but Kate spoke up and asked, "How long will it be, do you know, before they call me?"

"All going well, it shouldn't be too long….twenty minutes perhaps," Ms Brownlow answered with an accompanying pat on Kate's arm. "You're our second witness so not long at all."

With no more questions forthcoming, Ms Brownlow left them on the uncomfortable seats and headed off down the hallway, presumably to collect her files and notes.

Sitting in the unfamiliar surroundings with little left to say that hadn't already been said, Kate and Caroline occupied themselves by watching with curiosity the activity going on around them….the officious march of barristers, their black robes billowing behind them as they entered and exited the building, wigs and leather-bound folders in hand; men, sitting like them in the hard seats outside neighbouring courtrooms, obviously uncomfortable in their suits and ties, their hair preened and shoes shining for once; a handful of the general public as well as what looked like one or two reporters curious as to the outcome of particular cases filed in through various courtroom doors; here and there small groups of family members or friends perhaps banded together to support each other or discuss a possible outcome…..As the day started, a general air of apprehension was slowly building.

As they watched, Caroline held Kate's hand, safe and secure, between her own.

Wordlessly, Kate drew Caroline's attention to a group of four teenagers she saw enter the building and make for the main door to courtroom 4. It was obvious that they had made an effort to appear neat and tidy but they hadn't fully succeeded.

"Do you think they're friends of the bloke they've got on trial?" Kate leant over and whispered.

Caroline eyed them carefully, not liking what she saw.

"I don't know….possibly."

Out of the blue, Kate asked, "What do you think he looks like?"

"Who?"

"The man on trial….the driver….the bloke who hit me."

Caroline swallowed hard at the sound of those words. She could hear the rising anxiety in Kate's voice and deliberately made her own voice calm….much calmer than she actually felt.

"I don't know," she replied truthfully, "but you can be sure he looks nothing like you would expect him to…..not like on the telly where half the time you can pick the bad guy just from his appearance….and you can bet your bottom dollar he has spruced himself up for today to try and give a good impression."

Another long silence settled over the couple until they were suddenly startled from their thoughts by the loud bellow of an officer of the court as he called out, "Katherine McKenzie-Dawson! Katherine McKenzie-Dawson!"

oooOooo


	11. Chapter 11

**_A/N: For this chapter I am asking for your indulgence as far as how actual court proceedings go. Being a law-abiding citizen, I have had nowt to do with any court system either here in Australia or in England. When I holidayed in England last year I was on my best behaviour because who knows what misdemeanour could have been dredged up from the convict days….a stolen handkerchief? A pilfered loaf of bread? I could have found myself dangling from the gallows for something an ancestor did….so I thought it best not to press my luck, although I did come dangerously close to a traffic violation when a rogue GPS gave me directions to turn onto what I quickly worked out was a tramway….the reason I worked it out was the fact that a tram was looming large behind me….oh, and my anxious friend in the passenger seat was yelling at me to get off the tramway. Fortunately, it was late at night and no law-enforcement personnel were about but I digress. I did do some research on the matter of court proceedings but it's fan fiction so what does it matter really?….I would greatly appreciate it if you could suspend your disbelief just for this update. _**

**_P.S. A bit of angst to start with but hang in there._**

**_"A Gift of Life"_**

**_Chapter 11_**

At the sound of her name resonating along the hallway, Kate turned in the direction of the voice to see a rotund, cherub-faced gentleman in the uniform of the court officials (the buttons stretched to their limit) obviously searching for his required witness.

Reluctantly she caught his eye and raised her hand slightly to signify her whereabouts but rather than meet him halfway, Kate stood and waited for him to approach her, content to further delay the inevitable even if it was only for a few more seconds.

"Katherine Abeke McKenzie?' he asked, a little out of breath, as he finally stood before her.

Kate gave a barely perceptible nod.

"Can you come with me, please?"

Not expecting any non-compliance with his instruction, the official turned and headed back in the direction from which he had come.

Caroline gave Kate's hand a quick, reassuring squeeze before releasing it. She then watched as Kate followed the man back down the hallway and ultimately disappeared from her sight as the two figures turned into a side corridor.

An uncomfortable feeling of apprehension shrouded itself around Caroline like a coarse cloak as she continued to sit there in the hard seat, unsure as to what it was she should actually do next. She wanted to go inside and show Kate moral support but she also knew the frustration she would feel at having to sit helplessly by in the public gallery, unable to do or say anything. She was too used to being in-charge for it not to exasperate her. Hoping for the unshakeable sense of foreboding to lift, Caroline remained there a few moments longer but it wouldn't budge so eventually she took it with her into the courtroom.

Other than the occasional crime show on television, Caroline had little, if any, familiarity with a courtroom having had no cause, up until now, to ever be in one so she was quite surprised by what she saw as she entered.

The room itself was much smaller than she had imagined and in contrast to the hard-surfaced, echoing chasm she was expecting, the ceilings were quite low, the floor was carpeted and the seats were fabric and all were in an unobtrusive shade of light grey. Desks and the wood panelling, rather than being the dark objects one associated with a courtroom, were in a pale-coloured timber and the room was brightly lit with banks of fluorescent tubes, all of it making for a far less sombre effect than she had pictured.

Seating for those not directly involved in the hearing but there for support or out of some saturnine inquisitiveness or perhaps the odd reporter or two, was made up of two rows of approximately fifteen seats which lined almost half of a side wall. Caroline chose to sit in the back row, close but not too close she hoped, to the witness box…she didn't want to distract or upset Kate with her presence. She also kept her distance from the band of four teenagers who also sat in the back row but at least a dozen places further towards the rear of the room. They were the group she and Kate had noticed walk in earlier and had made suppositions about. They appeared far less daunted by the whole situation than Caroline as they whispered and joked amongst themselves. Maybe there was a certain strength in their numbers or maybe they'd done it all before. Scattered along in the remaining seats were five or six other anonymous figures, a mixture of men and women, all of them at least middle-aged. Their reason for being there was not apparent.

As she sat there trying to be inconspicuous, it struck Caroline that the smallness of the space created an unanticipated and rather uneasy intimacy within the room. Advocates arguing for both the defendant and the prosecution sat side by side at one large desk facing the slightly-raised bench of the magistrate who would be presiding only a few metres away, listening attentively to the evidence and eventually deciding the fate of their case. Not too far removed from them was the witness box where Kate would stand and, on the opposite side of the room but still too disconcertingly close for comfort Caroline thought, the chair for the defendant.

While members of both legal teams busily organised their notes and cast a last minute eye over the facts as they saw them, the defendant was led into the room. With such proximity, Caroline could plainly see his every feature – his pale, grey eyes arched by thick, fair brows, his nose as thin and sharp as a knife blade matched by a thin, tight-lipped mouth and his hair, a dirty blonde, appeared to be newly but poorly cut. The shadow of fresh stubble already darkened his pale skin. As he wiped the sweat from his palms along the top of his thighs, Caroline was able to see that just below each middle knuckle a letter had been tattooed but she couldn't quite read what they said. Although probably only twenty, he could pass for considerably older, Caroline thought and even though he put on an outward air of nonchalance, she could sense his uneasiness.

As he lowered his tall, slim frame, uncomfortable in its ill-fitting suit, into the chair, his eyes darted around the room, firstly towards the table and his legal representative and then across at Caroline until they finally rested on his friends. At the sight of them, he seemed to relax slightly but whether it was genuine reassurance or just bravado, Caroline was not sure for despite his defiant slouch, one leg jittered nervously.

Caroline followed his line of sight towards his friends and was unfortunate enough to inadvertently catch the eye of one of them who gave her a greasy smile and made an unsavoury gesture at her with his tongue. Caroline's undisguised distaste for his message brought another snide smile to his face before he lost interest and turned back to his friends. Caroline also turned away, disappointed that the red flush now glowing on her cheeks would have given him the satisfaction of knowing he had struck his mark and embarrassed her.

Suddenly the quiet of the room was broken and their attention was drawn by the loud voice of the court usher as she commanded that everyone rise to their feet. At the same time, a learned-looking gentleman attired in a dark suit entered and took the middle one of three seats at the Magistrates' bench at the front room. A subtle nod of the gentleman's head soon had everyone taking their seats again. The same court official then introduced the case declaring that the defendant, Andrew John Bailey, was accused of stealing a vehicle on Sunday, the 9th day of March 2014 for the purpose of joy-riding as well as dangerous driving in a public place causing damage to the vehicle, other property and also personal injury contrary to Section 2 of the Road Traffic Act, 1988.

_Read out like that, it all sounded so inconsequential…so minor… Caroline thought. Where was the part about the life-threatening injuries to her wife and child? Where was the mention of her own heart feeling like it had been crushed by some gigantic weight? To Caroline's way of thinking "Personal Injury" wasn't a term that even began to cover the suffering they'd endured in one form or another at the hands of this callous bastard._

The prosecution was then directed to present their case which they began by submitting a labelled map showing the various locations of each offence to the Magistrate and calling their first witness, a Mr Henry McLaren. Mr McLaren entered the room, was sworn in and questioned.

Caroline listened patiently while he told the Magistrate how he'd parked his car in a parking lot in Skipton and gone into a nearby café. When he'd returned to the parking lot, almost an hour later, his car was gone, presumably stolen.

After answering a number of questions from both the prosecution and the defence, Mr McLaren was dismissed and the next witness was called.

Kate was escorted to the witness box where she too was sworn in. She then sat, straight-backed and stern-faced, as she waited to be questioned.

Although she seemed composed, Caroline spotted the tell-tale flex of her jaw that said that she was tense….anxious.

Earl Cowley began in much the same manner as he had done with the previous witness by asking Kate to recall the circumstances leading up to the accident which she did as succinctly and accurately as possible, remembering to mention, as instructed by Janet Brownlow, the detail that it was a day after her wedding when it had happened.

At the end of her recount Mr Cowley asked, "Is it true you were pregnant at the time of the accident?"

"Yes," Kate replied with a slight falter in her resolve to keep her emotions in check. "Thirty-five weeks."

Cowley waited a moment to let the Magistrate take in the story so far and the image of a heavily-pregnant woman standing innocently on the footpath and then asked more specifically about the accident.

"Did you see the vehicle before it struck you, Mrs McKenzie-Dawson?"

Kate took a deep breath and closed her eyes as much to help her maintain her nerve as to help her recall an exact image of what she did and didn't see.

"I checked the road before I crossed it," she answered in a voice so soft that she was asked to speak more loudly. "After two cars passed it was clear so I stepped out….I'd only taken one or two steps when I saw the car coming…..dark blue, I think but I can't be sure."

"Can you describe how that car was approaching you?"

"At speed….erratically."

"Did you see the driver of the vehicle?"

Again Kate closed her eyes, this time to conjure up the face of the driver but it wasn't there, she wasn't sure it ever had been but if so, it was gone now…all memory of it erased.

"No, I don't think so," she finally had to admit.

"Do you recall seeing any other people in the vehicle?"

Caroline noticed Kate's jaw flex several more times in rapid succession and her eyes flit anxiously around the room before focussing down on her lap, all sure signs that her wife was becoming upset.

Kate looked up and replied with a simple, "No."

She didn't feel as though she was being of any help. _Why was she even here? What purpose would it serve?_

Attention was then momentarily directed away from Kate as Mr Cowley addressed the Magistrate.

"If it pleases Your Honour, we have some CCTV footage of the actual accident that we'd like to present which clearly shows the defendant driving the vehicle that was stolen from Mr McLaren and which struck Mrs McKenzie-Dawson later that same day."

While the Magistrate gave the nod to proceed, Kate and Caroline looked at each other in wide-eyed shock. Nobody had mentioned the existence of CCTV footage to them. _Why did they need Kate's presence in court if the accident had been recorded by CCTV?_

With the press of a button a screen slid smoothly from the ceiling. Caroline prepared to leave as she was expecting that at any moment Kate would be dismissed from her duty as a witness. She was not going to stay and watch this. She would join Kate outside.

She waited but no instruction was forthcoming. A growing sense of alarm started to filter into Caroline's mind as Kate remained in the witness box_. Surely they weren't considering leaving Kate in the room while they showed the footage!_

Slightly confused by what was about to happen, Kate too waited anxiously to be dismissed as she couldn't believe they intended for her to have to view the accident and relive the horror of it all so blatantly displayed on a screen right in front of her.

Her fingers went to her lips to stop them from trembling as she was determined not to break down and become tearful in front of the court.

Were they finished with her, Kate wondered? Could she just stand up and leave? No, she decided as she waited a little longer.

The second press of a button brought a data projector to life followed quickly by a third press which saw grainy, monochromatic images begin to appear on the screen.

_"Stop!," _she wanted to scream, _"I'm still here in the room,"_ but instead she remained silent, compelled by some morbid curiosity to watch but at the same time desperately wanting to hide her eyes.

As she peered at the screen, unable to look away, Kate made out her own figure leaving the shop with the carton of milk in her hand. She saw herself stop at the curb and wait for two cars to pass before checking again and then stepping out onto the road.

For an instant Kate tried to fool herself into thinking that it was someone else… somewhere else… but, as the car struck her body with a resounding thud….for although there was no accompanying audio with the CCTV footage, there was very definitely a violent 'thud' felt by everyone in the room…..reality took over. Bile quickly rose in her throat. She was going to be sick, she was sure. She felt her breath rising but it seemed trapped in her chest. Instinctively she looked over at Caroline but her wife's eyes were hidden in her hands and did not see her plea for help.

Suddenly the room began to spiral and lose focus. Black blotches, spreading like ink dropped into water, began to blur her vision until all was in complete darkness and silence.

Caroline looked up in time to see Kate's limp figure slide from the seat to the floor and called out to her. Two court officials had also noticed what was happening and rushed to Kate's aid. The Magistrate hurriedly called an adjournment to proceedings while Kate was tended to.

Still dazed and confused, Kate finally regained consciousness to find herself prone on a bed with a concerned Caroline sitting beside her holding her hand and lightly stroking her head. Kate tried to sit up but as she did, everything began to spin again so she eased herself back down.

"Take it easy," Caroline commanded softly, "There's no rush."

"Am I in hospital?" Kate managed to ask.

"No…you're in a medical room at the courthouse," Caroline explained gently, "A doctor has taken a look at you ….he says you've had a shock, not that anyone would need a medical degree to come to that conclusion, but he said you're to rest for a bit and as soon as you feel able, I will take you home."

Caroline brought Kate's hand up to her lips and plied the back of it with light kisses.

Kate closed her eyes only to open them again a short time later at the sound of another voice asking, "How is she?"

Ms Janet Brownlow had come in to see if Kate was alright.

"She'll be fine, no thanks to you," a furious Caroline all but hissed. "What was that stunt in there all about? Why would you do that to Kate….to anyone? It was reckless and entirely unnecessary!"

"We thought it would have more impact if Kate were….."

Before she could finish, Caroline jumped in.

"More impact! Well, you can see what your 'more impact' has achieved! I hope you're satisfied."

Although she wasn't one to back down easily, Ms Brownlow could see that they had possibly overstepped the mark.

"I'm sorry," she offered, "if there's anything we can do to help please don't hesitate to ask."

"I think you have _'helped'_ enough," Caroline answered more quietly but with no less ire as she thought about what they had done to her wife. "I think it would be best if you left now."

Caroline then turned her back on Ms Brownlow and gave her full attention to Kate.

While Kate had absolutely no interest in the outcome of the trial….she refused to even mention it….Caroline had made a brief phone call to Ms Janet Brownlow's office the next day to inquire as to the outcome. Ms Brownlow informed her that the Magistrate had not hesitated in finding the defendant guilty and inflicted the maximum penalty of two years imprisonment and a £5000 fine. In addition, an extra penalty of 200 hours community service to be spent working with the victims of road accidents was imposed.

Despite the outcome in their favour, Caroline felt surprisingly devoid of any sort of satisfaction….a hollow victory surely as the damage had been done and could not be undone.

"How is Kate doing?" Ms Brownlow inquired politely while she had Caroline on the phone.

"She's still very upset," Caroline made a point of stating.

"I'm sorry to hear that….I really am."

The sincerity in Ms Brownlow's voice softened the edge to Caroline's wrath only slightly. "Well, it's over now and she's strong. Despite all she's been put through, I'm sure she will pull through soon enough."

oooOooo

Caroline couldn't have been more wrong.

It had been almost a month since the trial and, far from recovering, Caroline was forced to watch on helplessly as, over the days and weeks, her wife steadily became more withdrawn, not only from her but from life in general.

At first, although concerned, Caroline was confident that Kate would work through her ills but as time passed and the situation only worsened, her uneasiness gradually increased until now she was desperate with worry.

It had been weeks since Caroline had seen her smile…truly smile…. that smile that reached her eyes and lit up her whole face and, although Kate went through the necessary motions of daily life, her heart was not in it. Her usual vivacity had been greatly dimmed leaving only her pale shadow for company.

Disturbingly, a large portion of Kate's day was now spent sitting passively on her own with a look of pre-occupation on her face or quietly pacing through the rooms nursing Flora. She rarely, if ever, ventured beyond the bounds of the house.

In contrast, her nights were restless and sleep often eluded her. When she did find sleep, it was filled with agitation and nightmares of the kind that had her waking in a cold sweat and left her completely drained, more tired than when she had first gone to sleep.

Equally worrying for Caroline was the fact that Kate now reached out less and less for their physical closeness. Only occasionally did she place her hand in Caroline's or, when Caroline rested a hand on her, there was a painful lack of responsiveness. They rarely kissed and they hadn't made love since the trial. Caroline admonished herself for being selfish and for wanting these things but she couldn't help but miss them…their physical intimacy had been a large and wonderful part of their life together.

In the beginning, Caroline had made an effort to cajole and coax Kate out of her melancholy only to be met with anything from total indifference to barely disguised annoyance, the unpredictability of the reaction as upsetting as the mood itself. Now, at a loss as to how to help, she could only wait for Kate to reach out to her, a wait Caroline found frustrating in the extreme.

_Was this freakish accident going to plague their relationship forever, Caroline wondered on more than one occasion?_

With nothing more inviting to do with her time, after dinner Caroline retired to her study for the evening. Maybe she'd finally write some of those long-overdue replies to emails she had been sent or perhaps do some research on the internet, after all, isn't that where one found all the answers to life's problems in this day and age?

She opened up her email account and glimpsed through her new mail. There was nothing of interest or requiring her immediate attention so she found the recent email from William in her 'in box' and re-read it. Although the workload was heavy, he was enjoying university far more than high school. At Oxford it had been much easier to find like-minded people and to make friends and he even had a girlfriend. In conclusion, he had asked after herself and Kate and belatedly about Lawrence.

She really should reply, Caroline thought, but what would she say? She knew it would upset her sensitive son to know things were not all sunshine and roses for her at the moment but he would also be disappointed if she wasn't truthful.

Caroline tried and re-tried to compose a suitable letter…one that was not too worrying but without lying…. until eventually she tossed the keyboard aside in sheer frustration. She then stood and marched purposefully into the lounge room. It was against her nature to sit idly by and do nothing so it was time to try again.

From the doorway she could see Kate sitting at one end of the sofa, her legs tightly tucked beneath her body. Flora was lying contentedly in her swing seat beside her, mesmerised by a plush, colourful toy she held in both hands and tugged at. The television was on but Caroline could tell by her wife's distant gaze that she wasn't really paying any attention to it.

After taking a deep, settling breath Caroline walked into the room and sat down beside her.

"Kate, I've been thinking…" Caroline began bravely.

Kate turned to face her looking slightly annoyed at the disturbance to her peace and quiet as well as showing only a cursory interest in what her wife might have to say but Caroline continued nonetheless.

"The holidays are nearly over and we've done virtually nothing with them….Would you like to go away….maybe somewhere near the sea… for a few days?"

"Why?"

Caroline swallowed her exasperation.

"Just for a change of scenery….and perhaps it might be good for you to get away….help you get over the shock you've had."

Kate's eyes hardened as she stared at Caroline.

"Do you honestly think that _'a few days away'_ will stop me from seeing my own pregnant body being struck by some callous bastard out for a bit of _'fun' _and flung like so much rubbish to the side of the road?" Kate asked in a low, mocking voice that took Caroline completely aback. She'd only ever heard Kate use that tone once before…it had been the time when she had been too cowardly to book a double room for them on Kate's birthday weekend.

"Do you think a few days away will stop me feeling so vulnerable, as though something dreadful could happen to me at any moment….stop me from feeling so lost…so detached from everyone and everything and, worst of all, so confused about what it actually is that I _should _be feeling…"

Caroline could hear the tremor in her wife's voice ….. a mixture of anger and grief….and couldn't resist the urge to reach out and try to console her…to let her know she wasn't alone…. but the gesture was rejected as Kate tucked herself away more tightly.

Trying not to take Kate's harsh words too personally as she knew it was the despair talking, Caroline dared to make the most of the opportunity that had unexpectedly presented itself in the conversation.

"If that's how you're feeling then I think you should consider perhaps seeking some professional support….you've been through a serious trauma and maybe some counselling would help….because you…we…can't go on like this."

"I don't really care what you think?" Kate replied severely, the words clipped and cutting. She regretted them the moment they were out but she couldn't take them back.

"I've tried to help you but it hasn't worked," Caroline pleaded, "I don't know what else to do and I'm tired of walking on egg shells around you….not knowing what to say to you or how best to be there for you…. I'm worried about you."

Kate could see the genuine concern in her wife's face, the blue pools of her eyes, deep and serious. She was also aware that Caroline had every right to be worried and was probably right but in her present state of mind Kate wasn't willing to concede the argument so instead she turned away, dismissing her. She was done talking.

Perhaps sensing the conflict in the room, Flora tossed away her toy and began to cry loudly. Caroline immediately reached down, picked her daughter out of her capsule and tried to soothe her with a gentle rocking motion and a few quiet words.

"Right then, I guess we'll stay at home," Caroline said with as much calm as she could muster. She stood to leave the room with Flora still in her arms. "Flora and I are off to bed. Good night."

oooOooo

In the less tense surrounds of the nursery and with the gentle, hypnotic swaying of her mother's body, it hadn't taken long for Flora's discontent to wane until eventually Caroline felt the satisfying sensation of the tiny body relax completely in her arms. She looked down at the infant in awe as Flora nodded off into that deep sleep only babies can have with no angst or trouble to disturb them.

With the faintest of kisses to the top of her head, Caroline carefully settled her now peaceful daughter into the crib, switched off the light and padded quietly through the adjoining door into the main bedroom.

For an instant she considered abandoning her nightly routine and just stripping off and crawling into bed but she knew she would only lie there, turning Kate's words over endlessly in her brain and unable to sleep, so instead she headed for the en suite and a hot shower. Every nerve and fibre of her body was strung as tightly as piano wire. Perhaps the heat would relieve some of the tension.

As Caroline stepped from the pile of discarded clothes and stood bare-skinned under the rain of steamy water, her chest began to heave uncontrollably and her eyes prickled. Suddenly uninvited tears began to course down her cheeks….tears she left unchecked….tears she'd been holding back for weeks….tears she knew needed to fall as helplessness, her most despised state, overwhelmed her.

Desperately willing the water to wash away her troubles and the growing sense of hopelessness she felt, Caroline allowed the shower to flow over her well after her tears had stopped but, as the heat and steam filled the small room, all remained unaltered. It was frustratingly clear that Kate was the only one with the power to make any positive change happen, if only she could dig deep enough into her store of resolve.

Caroline towelled herself dry, dressed in her slightly worn but favourite pyjamas and slipped into the bed hoping to find some sort of comfort there but there was only a coldness caused by the creeping sense of loneliness that threatened to engulf her.

In an effort to distract herself, she turned on her ipad and checked her emails again but there was nothing new. She turned it off and reached for the novel she had been reading instead but, no matter how hard she tried to concentrate, the words stayed separate and meaningless. She slammed it shut, not bothering to mark the page, and dumped it on the floor beside the bed.

Finally, in frustration, she switched off the bedside lamp, rolled onto her side and closed her eyes in the hope of finding sleep but she knew it wouldn't come easily as her mind searched the labyrinth of thoughts on what she should do or not do, looking for answers, having to seek an alternate pathway each time she reached a dead end.

Although it seemed like much longer, Caroline had been lying there for no more than a half hour when she heard Kate enter the bedroom. Caroline lay still, with her eyes shut tight. She heard Kate moving around the room for a moment or two but then it went quiet. Caroline took the opportunity to open her eyes and looked over to where a thin blade of light escaped from under the bathroom door. As she listened there came the sound of running water from the shower.

Only minutes later, the door opened and Kate made her way silently to the bed. Caroline quickly closed her eyes again and feigned sleep while Kate carefully pulled back the covers and slid into the bed.

Much to Caroline's surprise, rather than simply turning over and going to sleep too as she did most nights now, her wife crept up closely behind her until the full length of their bodies was aligned and so that Caroline could feel the heat from her limbs and the teasing sensuality of her nakedness. Gentle fingers reached over and delicately stroked back the strands of blonde hair that fell across her face.

"Caroline," Kate whispered hopefully.

Still smarting from Kate's words earlier in the evening, Caroline maintained the pretence of having fallen asleep and didn't respond.

She felt a hand slide across the thin cotton of her pyjama top and the sheer pleasure of Kate's arm draping itself over her hip. The thrill and nervousness her wife's touch now caused almost matched that of the very first time Kate had touched her. They had been sharing a bottle of wine at Kate's place when Caroline, in what she had considered to be a moment of weakness, blurted out all her woes about her philandering husband and her farce of a marriage. Seeing her friend so distraught, Kate had run a consoling hand along Caroline's forearm, possibly a purely platonic gesture at the time, but it had set her pulse racing just as it was now.

"Caroline," Kate tried again, "I know you're awake."

Caroline stirred as if woken from a deep sleep.

"What?" she mumbled.

"I wanted to say I'm sorry…..so very, very sorry….for what I said to you….the way I spoke to you before….for everything…I can't seem to help it sometimes…."

Lost for words to further express her regret, Kate leaned over and placed a kiss just below Caroline's ear.

"Can you forgive me?" she asked in a soft whisper, "Do you still love me?"

_"Oh, that is so unfair,"_ Caroline thought to herself as she rolled over to face her wife. "You are incorrigible, Mrs McKenzie-Dawson," Caroline replied but not unkindly, hoping to lift the sombre mood. She'd had enough sadness. "You know I love you…will always love you."

With her free hand, Caroline drew Kate's lips to her own and sealed her words with a kiss…..a kiss that began tenderly but quickly turned to one of longing and passion as the stir of feelings that, a moment before, had been gathered around her heart, expanded further. Caroline's hand began to roam tentatively across her wife's bare skin, prepared to stop if Kate should flinch or draw away but she soon realised her caution was unnecessary as Kate encouraged her to remove her pyjamas, first the top and then the pants. With nothing between them now except their own flesh, hands, lips and searching tongues became consumed with the desire to mend the hurt and to bring the other pleasure as well as appease the growing need each now had for their lover's carnal touch.

Tentatively at first, as though for the first time, they tested the waters as their hands…mouths…tongues cautiously, curiously sought out the most intimate of places. Perhaps because it had been so long since they had made love, each sense seemed to be heightened. The softness and certainty of the other's bare skin pressing against their own sparking a desperate hunger; the acute awareness of the wetness of desire that was there between their thighs; the mingled scent and taste of their perspiration and sex; the almost imperceptible sound of those low, breathy moans building up to become unrestrained cries of release; the satisfied collapse into a tender embrace.

oooOooo

Having placed Flora in her playpen with a number of her favourite toys to keep her occupied, Kate wandered into the kitchen to join Caroline for some breakfast.

"Are you sure toast and coffee is all you want?" Caroline asked as she filled the kettle, "I could make an omelette if you like or a….."

Kate slid an arm around Caroline's waist and placed a reassuring kiss on her lips. Last night's love-making had not just been another one of her moods. She really did love this woman with all her heart and soul and wanted her to know that.

"Toast is fine…perfect."

As she had been banned from helping, Kate sat on the stool and watched Caroline go about the business of making their breakfast. It seemed to her that her wife looked a little pre-occupied.

"You look worried," Kate stated, "are you still upset with me?'

Caroline hesitated and then peered directly at Kate and took a deep breath. She was relieved by Kate's good mood and was reluctant to upset it but she needed to say her piece.

"I know you think I'm like a dog with a bone sometimes but…." Her words faded. Sometimes she wasn't as brave as she would like to be.

Kate gave her a puzzled look, unsure of where the sentence was leading.

"What?" Kate asked, sensing Caroline's reluctance to continue. "You're going to have to say it."

Caroline came closer to her and encircled her loosely in her arms.

"Would you be totally against the idea of talking to someone …..getting someone to help you through this…this mess? I've tried to help but I only seem to make it worse."

Feeling guilty about what she had put Caroline through over the weeks since the trial, although none of it was intentional, and admitting to herself she needed to act, Kate answered with a certain air of acceptance, "No, I'm not totally against the idea….as a matter of fact, I promise you I will find someone to help me…us….work it out."

"When?"

"Tomorrow."

Caroline raised a stern eyebrow at her.

"Alright…today," Kate relented, "This morning."

The look of relief on Caroline's face was its own reward.

"_That went better than expected_," Caroline thought to herself with a grateful sigh and then replied, "Okay …. good…. great…. Jam or honey?

"What?"

"On your toast."

oooOooo

_**AN: Happy belated birthday, JN. Pour vous.**_


	12. Chapter 12

**_"_****_A Gift of Life"_**

**_Chapter 12_**

Initially Caroline was reluctant at the thought of returning to work and leaving Kate on her own even though she wasn't sure what it was she would actually achieve by staying home other than to put her mind at ease that Kate was taking care of herself. She even considered taking some leave despite the enormous disruption the absence of the Head Teacher would cause at Sulgrave Heath, especially as it was the beginning of a new school year. However, Kate had been true to her word and had sought help and the positive effects had been almost immediate although as Kate, herself, acknowledged, there was still some way to go but the progress to date had left Caroline feeling confident enough to start the term.

The other good news Caroline had received towards the end of the holidays was that Lawrence had found himself employment in a jeweller's shop in Harrogate. It wasn't a career move as such but more of a way to build-up his non-existent finances now that it had been made clear to him that he was expected to be more independent and could no longer rely on his parents for money, although they would never see him go short. Unsure as to exactly what it was he wanted to do with his life, he had forgone the path of university which, with his marks, he may have scraped into one or two courses, and had chosen to leave his options open for now. Caroline was simply grateful that he wasn't spending his days at home playing on the Xbox or watching rugby match after rugby match and, with any luck, she might be even be able to receive a discount should she decide to buy the diamond ear-rings she had her eye on.

Although Lily had been accepted into all the university courses she had applied for, she too was undecided as to where her true passion lay so she was also having some time off from formal education until she was more certain as to where it was she wanted to focus her energy. She spent her days fluctuating between working at Sandon's office doing everything from the more menial chores to being given an opportunity to draw up her own designs, a number of which had received a second glance from impressed parties, while other days were spent at Patrick's workshop, again doing numerous jobs from office work to helping to dismantle and then rebuild various parts of cars. In her sights was also the possibility of some travel abroad for a year or two.

The beginning of the new school year at Sulgrave Heath Independent School proceeded relatively smoothly as Dr McKenzie-Dawson, with many years of experience under her belt as well as exceptional organisational skills, had the exercise of getting the complex timetable system up and running, the new teachers inducted and a fresh intake of students in the process of being whipped into shape, not to mention a mass of other miscellaneous chores, all down to a fine art although she hadn't factored in one of the deputies, Mr Harrison, toppling down the set of stairs near his office and breaking a leg in only the third week back. According to his doctor, it was possible that he would be off work for up to eight weeks which created a rather challenging domino effect and a staffing nightmare for Caroline.

Eventually she had been able to convince Mrs Donaldson, Head of the English Department, to step up to the job for the duration and, in turn, filled the Head of Department position with one of the more experienced and capable English teachers who was due a promotion, but now there was a gap in the teaching staff. For the past week current staff had been covering lessons as best they could but Caroline needed a replacement more or less yesterday. To this end, she had sought permission from the school's board and immediately advertised the vacancy for a secondary English teacher on a short term contract basis but, to her dismay, she had only received one application which was anywhere near the standard she required and even it fell short in some areas, specifically experience, which was a little worrying.

Nevertheless, Caroline had arranged an interview with this applicant, a Miss Candice Baker, for first thing the following morning and had all fingers crossed in hope that the woman was employable.

As far as work days went, today had been a long one. Anything that could possibly go wrong, did go wrong with the only consolation being that on the scale of 'wrongness' it was all relatively minor so it was with a grateful sigh of relief that Caroline pulled into 46 Conway Drive that evening, cut the engine to the Jeep, collected her bag from the passenger seat and made for the entrance to her house, thankful that there was only one more day to wade through until the weekend.

Once inside, Caroline dumped her car keys with a metallic clatter onto the sideboard in the entranceway and then set her handbag on the floor so she could remove her coat and hang it on the stand. As she freed one arm from the coat's long sleeve and was about to do the same with the other, she was startled by a series of loud thumps coming from the direction of the kitchen. Not quite sure what she thought was happening but with alarm bells ringing in her head, Caroline instantly abandoned what she was doing and raced towards the mysterious noise, calling out as she did.

"Kate….Kate…Are you alright?"

Caroline came to a halt in the kitchen doorway and as she peered in she could feel the red flush of embarrassment creeping up her neck and colouring her cheeks as the source of the sound became obvious.

Kate stood at the kitchen bench with a heavy rolling pin in her hand and two thick pieces of meat set out in front of her on a cutting board. While Caroline watched on, Kate gave each piece a solid wallop with the rolling pin. THUD…THUD…

"You do know that the meat is already dead when you buy it?" Caroline commented with a relieved smirk, "There's no need for you to kill it… again."

"Oh you're so very funny," Kate replied with equal sarcasm as she turned to Caroline and saw the amused smile on her wife's face. "If you must know, I'm tenderising these steaks for dinner….I suspect that if I don't do this it will be like chewing on an old tyre, despite the outlandish price I paid for them….We're having steak parmigiana if I can get the meat thin enough."

With those words, Kate gave the meat several more sound whacks until she was satisfied as to its thinness.

Caroline remained in the doorway watching on, her coat still hanging clumsily, half off, half on, while she let her panic of a moment ago subside.

Satisfied that her steaks were now ready for crumbing, Kate put the rolling pin aside, looked over at her wife again and was about to ask her how her day had been when she registered Caroline's dishevelled appearance.

"A tough day at the office?" Kate asked, gesturing vaguely with her hand at Caroline's state of disarray. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine," Caroline answered as she finished removing her coat, "It's just that as I was in the hallway I heard….and I thought that something was…..so I raced in here to see…you bashing the meat."

Caroline could tell by Kate's puzzled look that her rather incoherent explanation hadn't made a lot of sense but to save herself any further humiliation she left the conversation there and concentrated on removing her coat completely.

"I'm going to hang this up," Caroline continued, "I'll be back in a minute."

"You need to relax a bit," Kate replied, "Can I pour you a glass of wine?"

"That would be perfect," Caroline said gratefully.

As she turned to retrace her steps, Caroline caught the sound of Kate's soft laughter which made the happiness brim inside her. It had been well worth looking a bit silly and feeling slightly foolish she decided, just to hear that laugh….a laugh that hadn't been there for weeks and that Caroline had sorely missed. It was also a promising sign that Kate was becoming well again which was what Caroline wanted most in the world.

While Kate finished preparing dinner, Caroline caught up with her daughter, firstly playing with her in the lounge room and then taking her upstairs where she bathed her. Caroline then nestled into the cozy, overstuffed armchair Kate had purchased at a second-hand shop and placed in the nursery after having it re-covered. She tucked Flora snugly into one arm while, with the other, she held open one of the many picture books which she read aloud complete with apt character voices and actions, just as she had done with both William and Lawrence when they were young. Privately, Caroline partially accredited her acting skills for her sons developing a love of reading, albeit each with vastly different tastes. William loved his classic English literature while Lawrence had an almost obsession with comic books, particularly his collection of Death Grip comics. Like the boys, Flora seemed to listen and watch intently.

Had Caroline known she was going to become a mother again it would have given her an excuse to retain a small library of her favourite picture books that she had accumulated during her sons' infancy…"Hairy Maclary", "Where the Wild Things Are", "The Snowy Day"….but, unfortunately, thinking at the time that there was no reason to keep them, they'd been handed onto friends or donated to second-hand book stores for other children to love. Looking on the bright side, however, Caroline now had a legitimate excuse to browse around the picture book section of bookstores, admiring the wonderful and varied illustrations and the innocent, precious world within the stories, clever in their simplicity. Both women agreed that you were never too young or too old to listen to stories and secretly Caroline loved reading to Flora and the chance it offered to ham it up.

Although Flora didn't understand what was being read, the bright colours of the pictures and the animation in her mother's voice all served to keep her intrigued.

At the faint sound of Kate's voice calling up the stairs to tell her dinner was almost ready, Caroline closed the book and looked down at Flora to find her eyelids, heavy with drowsiness, struggling to stay open. Resting the book on the broad arm of the chair, Caroline stood, careful not to disturb her sleepy bundle, and carried her over to the cot where she tucked her in safely.

"This very hungry caterpillar has to go and eat her dinner now," Caroline whispered, "Good night my sweet girl."

With a final soft stroke of her daughter's cheek, Caroline turned off the main light leaving only a very dim night lamp glowing and headed back downstairs.

She re-joined Kate at the dining room table where the food and the wine had already been placed and was waiting for her. Before beginning her meal, Caroline reached for her wife's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Thank you," Caroline said appreciatively to which Kate replied with a warm smile.

Apart from the clatter of cutlery against china, the room fell into a comfortable quiet for several moments as the women tucked into their meal.

After one or two mouthfuls, Caroline piped up, "This isn't the old tyres you promised me."

"Are you complaining?" Kate asked, feigning indignation.

"Definitely not," Caroline answered a little more seriously, "it's delicious….thank you."

oooOooo

As Kate had cooked the dinner, Caroline had insisted that, in return, she would clear the table and stack the dishwasher giving her wife time to disappear upstairs and check on their daughter.

After a final wipe down of the kitchen surfaces, Caroline strolled into the lounge room where she placed the two fresh mugs of tea that she had made onto the coffee table, plonked herself on the sofa, turned the television on and started flicking through the channels in search of something to watch. Eventually she settled on a documentary on the Large Hadron Collider Tunnel which piqued her curiosity.

With the help of some cushions, Caroline leant comfortably against one arm of the sofa and stretched her legs along almost its full length as she listened with interest to a young, female physicist explain how the Large Hadron Collider, the world's biggest and most powerful particle accelerator, is used to study the world's tiniest particles. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Kate come into the room and automatically went to fold up her legs to make some space for her.

To her pleasant surprise, instead of curling up at the other end as had become her habit, Kate gestured for her to keep her legs outstretched and lay down in the space beside her. It was a tight fit but they had always managed. Caroline draped a proprietorial arm across her wife's hip to keep her secure while, at the same time, basking in the more than pleasurable warmth of their bodies tucked so closely together.

Although Kate appreciated the importance of science in the scheme of things, it was not her passion so, whereas Caroline seemed engrossed in the programme that they were watching, Kate found herself distracted, not least of all by the wonderful sensation of her body pressed so intimately to her wife's, creating a curious mixture of sanctuary and of a more primal desire which was rapidly expanding.

Slowly, being careful not to create too much upheaval, Kate turned herself over, closer still, into Caroline's body, and rested her head on her chest. Listening to the steady, relaxed beat of her wife's heart and feeling the almost hypnotic rise and fall of her breathing, Kate was suddenly taken by a surge of emotion, a thermal that rose under her breast and lifted her like a winged bird out of the perils of the tempest that hovered below. She was almost overcome with how desperately she loved this woman.

Just as Kate was considering her chances of convincing Caroline to abandon her television show for more amorous activities, the phone that sat on the arm of the sofa closest to Caroline began to buzz and 'bells' tolled signalling a call. Caroline caught it just as it was about to vibrate its way to the floor.

With no clue as to who was calling appearing on the screen, Caroline answered with a slightly hesitant, "Hello….Caroline speaking," and then, a second or two later, a more enthusiastic, "Oh hi, Sandon."

Turning to Kate she mouthed silently, _"It's Sandon."_

After a few minutes of polite banter and general discussion as to the well-being of each and their own, Kate overheard Caroline say, "Do you mind if I check before I accept?" She then put her hand over the phone's speaker and explained to Kate, "Sandon and Pat have invited us to join them for dinner at the new Spanish restaurant in Harrogate on Saturday night….Do you think you feel up to it?"

Kate's expression became more serious as she considered the prospect of being out in a busy part of town where anything might happen and where she had less control of the unknown. Even though she was feeling much more confident these days, she still didn't venture far from home on too many occasions so it had been a long while since they had been out together. Kate gathered her nerve, nodded and said, "Sure, why not?"

Unconvinced, Caroline said, "We don't have to if you don't want to…..I'm certain they'll understand."

"I do want to," Kate insisted, "I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Kate added a weak smile in an effort to persuade Caroline and possibly herself that she would be able to do it and even if she wasn't, she was at least willing to try.

While Caroline continued her conversation with Sandon and made the arrangements, Kate tried to keep the tendrils of anxiety from digging their hooks in and creeping over her by using some of the breathing techniques she had been shown in her counselling sessions.

Once she had hung up, Caroline looked up at the TV screen and was disappointed to see that her programme was finished so instead, she peered down at the lovely face that was nestled into her chest and was overcome with a whole new and rather more lascivious interest.

Caroline gently ran her hand over the tight braids of Kate's hair and placed a faint kiss on her partner's cheek and then, unable to resist, placed another on her mouth. No matter how many times she kissed those lips, their soft suppleness was always an enticement to revisit. In return, she felt Kate's lithe hand slip beneath her loose jumper and come to rest cupping her breast, her thumb raking her nipple and teasing it to a firm nub through the lace and silk of her bra.

With the effects of Kate's touch spreading through her body like ripples on a pond, Caroline leant over and whispered beguilingly, "Perhaps we should consider turning in for the night."

"I think that sounds like a very good idea," was Kate's equally beguiling reply as she ran a slow hand over Caroline's breasts one more time before reluctantly removing it from under the jumper. Kate eased herself off the sofa and then helped Caroline do the same. In a most unlike-Caroline fashion, she left the two, unfinished cups of tea that had long gone cold, sitting on the coffee table where they would stay until morning, while she led her wife up the stairs to their bedroom.

oooOooo

Caroline stood by the large window of her office, a saucer held in one hand and sipping her morning cup of tea with the other, as she ostensibly peered out at the view beyond however, in actual fact, her mind was quite a distance away in both time and place. In reality, she was reflecting on the sensual delights of the previous night. For just a moment she closed her eyes and concentrated until she could once again recall the wonderful sense of release she always felt at giving herself over so absolutely to someone she trusted emphatically and relinquishing control, not something she had done willingly in the past. Without too much effort, she was also able to conjure up the hotness of Kate's mouth against her breasts… her nipples between Kate's wet lips…Kate's hand, warm and mobile, between her bare thighs….

A shudder of pleasure saw her almost lose her grip on the saucer she held.

_"__Oh, God, this is not the time or place for those kind of thoughts,"_ Caroline remonstrated as she blinked open her eyes and regained her composure. She should not indulge in such thoughts with her interview with Miss Candice Baker only a short time away. She needed to be clear headed and focussed, not some lust-filled, panting wreck. Reluctantly she put aside her reminiscence, no matter how lovely, and set about recovering her Head Teacher persona.

Caroline had come into work considerably earlier than usual in an effort to complete several nagging tasks that were in dire need of her attention as well as re-read Miss Baker's resume and refresh herself of the facts before their appointment. She'd also made calls to the nominated referees to ensure all was above board. With everything now done, she had been taking a short break to have the cup of tea Beverley had made for her.

As she brought her thoughts back into focus on the present, Caroline caught sight of a rather sleek, black motorbike rumbling its way into the staff carpark. She watched with curiosity as it slotted into one of the spaces and, as the owner dismounted, Caroline suspected, to her surprise, that the rider was probably female. This was confirmed when the full-faced helmet was removed releasing a head of long, blonde hair which the woman attempted to untangle and tidy by raking her fingers through it. Even from as far away as the window where Caroline stood it was possible to make out the long fingernails painted a deep crimson which were matched by a set of very red lips and red heels that rivalled Caroline's for height.

_"__How can she possibly ride that thing wearing those heels?" Caroline wondered, "Surely it can't be legal…and not good for the shoes."_

Caroline continued to watch as the woman strode towards the main building, noticing, as she did, the long, slender legs that were tightly clad in a pair of black leggings and appeared to go on forever.

Before Caroline could finish asking herself who the woman was and what she was doing at the school, it struck her with somewhat of a shock that she was most likely the interviewee for the English teacher's position, Miss Candice Baker.

_"__Good Lord, the boys…and possibly some of the girls…are going to love this," Caroline speculated as the woman disappeared into the building._

Caroline returned to her desk, completely back in Head Teacher mode now and moments later Beverley buzzed through to let her know that a Miss Candice Baker was here for her appointment.

_"__As if the students didn't have enough distractions already," Caroline thought with a sigh, knowing full well that if the woman was as competent as her CV suggested she would have to offer her the job._ "Send her in please, Beverley."

Caroline politely opened the door for Miss Baker and invited her in, noting that she had been correct in her assumption and that it was indeed the woman on the motorbike. Before they sat down Caroline also offered her the use of her coat stand if she wished to remove the heavy, leather jacket she wore.

As Miss Baker took advantage of the offer and took off her coat, Caroline couldn't help but notice the woman's very buxom chest which was…and the only word Caroline could think of was _'restrained'_…...within a knitted top which was stretched to its limit. There was far more on show than not and although Caroline tried not to stare, or at least not to be caught out staring, they seemed to attract the eye no matter how hard one tried to look elsewhere. As a matter of fact, the harder she tried to look away the more her eye was drawn to them. This was going to be a challenging interview and not just for Miss Baker.

oooOooo

As Caroline returned to the main house from dropping off Flora at Celia and Alan's little flat around the back, she walked into the hallway to see Kate coming down the stairs. Despite following Sandon's instructions and dressing casually in a simple, plum-coloured shirt and a pair of jeans, as Caroline peered up at her wife she was struck yet again by how breathtakingly lovely she looked. Her dark hair, hanging loose in its hundreds of tiny braids as well as the almond eyes exuding the warmth and colour of fresh earth and her smooth, dark skin all combined to give her a rare and rather exotic quality.

As they met at the bottom of the stairs, Caroline drew her into a close embrace and whispered, "You look beautiful."

Kate acknowledged the compliment with a quick, modest smile.

Sensing some nervousness, Caroline asked, "Are you sure you're alright? We can cancel if you don't want to go."

Kate pecked Caroline's cheek and replied, "I'll be fine…..I need to do this."

Although still a little concerned but accepting that Kate needed to overcome her hurdles her way, Caroline noted the time and said, "We'd better get going then or we'll be more than fashionably late."

"You were the one who suggested we shower together when we've proven on several occasions now that it doesn't save time or water," Kate answered light-heartedly just in case Caroline was thinking of blaming her for their tardiness.

"It was only a suggestion. You could have declined," Caroline retorted without a hint of remorse.

"I'll keep that in mind for next time," Kate countered with a wicked smile, falling out of the embrace and taking Caroline's hand as they headed to the door.

oooOooo

Once they had located the right street, the restaurant was not difficult to find. It stood out from the other more established and traditional buildings surrounding it with its clean, white exterior and hacienda-style, arched entrance which was partially covered with a trellis over which a young vine was being encouraged to grow.

The second and more problematic challenge was to find a nearby parking space. The restaurant certainly was very popular if the number of cars outside was anything to judge by. Fortuitously, as they were completing a second lap of the block and just as Caroline's patience was wearing thin, Kate spotted the reversing lights of a vehicle that was parked almost in front of the place and quickly pointed it out. Caroline immediately braked to a halt, indicated and was almost pulling in before the other vehicle had completely vacated, ensuring that her spot wasn't taken as she explained to Kate who suggested she may have been a little too keen.

Sandon and Patrick, who had been having a quiet pre-dinner drink at the bar with one eye on the door, greeted the two women enthusiastically as they entered. There were friendly kisses and hugs all round before Sandon gave a barely perceptible signal to a passing waiter indicating that they were ready to be seated. The waiter promptly gathered four menus and escorted them to their table which was towards the centre of the room that was bustling with diners and their attentive staff.

The interior of the restaurant followed the colour scheme set by the outside, with whitewashed walls of patterned plaster and several archways leading off to various alcoves. Dark, exposed beams of heavy timber jutted across the ceiling and large picture windows, arched at the top, filled most of one wall which, one imagined, would allow the room to fill with natural light on sunny days. For the not-so-sunny English days and the evenings the alternate source of illumination was the many, small, chandelier-style lights that hung at regular intervals around the room lending to the comfortable ambience of Old Spain.

The room was a generous size and the tables were arranged to give guests a feeling of space. Each table had a dark wooden top and the legs, although made of wrought iron, appeared quite delicate. The chairs were covered in a deep red, velvet fabric and were thickly padded with legs that matched those of the tables.

Once the two couples were seated, the waiter hovered as they scanned the drinks list and ordered. He then left them to browse over the remainder of the menu.

After an initial round of polite inquiries as to everyone's well-being the conversation reached an ebb as they each turned their attention to the food that was on offer and pondered what to order.

Just as Caroline reached a decision about what she was going to have and looked up from her menu to inquire as to what the others were having, her eyes caught sight of a pair of familiar figures in the entrance waiting to be shown to a table, although she wouldn't have expected to see these two particular figures together in a million years but _together_ they obviously were.

"Oh shit," Caroline muttered fiercely and ducked for cover behind her menu.

Bemused by her wife's antics, Kate followed her line of sight and, on seeing the same two figures, muttered an "Oh shit" of her own. Overcome by curiosity, Sandy and Pat turned to see what the problem was but were none the wiser for looking.

"What's wrong?" Sandy finally asked.

"Caroline's ex-husband, John, and his girlfriend have just walked in," Kate explained in a secretive whisper.

"Oh shit," both men chorused as they turned to get a better look now that they knew what it was they were looking for.  
"He's kind of good-looking in a scruffy, wishy-washy sort of way," Patrick observed.

"He's an idiot," Kate stated emphatically leaving no doubt as to her opinion of the man who had been the bane of their lives in one way or another over the past few years.

"And is that blonde woman with the huge boo…breasts really his girlfriend?" Sandon asked, "She's very young and however does she stay upright with that chest and those high heels?"

Caroline, who had been strangely mute for the past minute or so, answered, "Not only is she his girlfriend, she's also the new English teacher that I have just hired… Miss Candice Baker."

"Oh no! Really? Are you sure?" Kate exclaimed while trying desperately not to laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation.

"Positve," Caroline replied, "I'd know that chest….face.… anywhere, not to mention those red talons."

"They are rather hard to miss," Kate observed.

"The breasts?"

"No, her nails….And can I say you seem a bit fixated with her chest?"

"Well, it is rather hard to miss," Caroline explained as a flush of red filled her cheeks, "and they do seem to draw the eye." And then, to redirect the attention away from herself she added, "We need to stop looking or they'll see us and come…."

It was too late. John had spotted Caroline and Kate and waved in their direction. Eye contact was inadvertently made.

Caroline didn't respond to his wave and made a last minute attempt to avert her eyes, hoping to give John the impression that she hasn't noticed him and to deter any sort of compulsion he felt to come over to their table.

"Please tell me he's not heading this way," Caroline begged through gritted teeth as she pretended to be absorbed in the menu once again.

Kate took a quick glance.

"Sorry, but they're both making a bee-line for our table."

Caroline winced. "Shit"

"Don't make a fuss," Kate all but pleaded quietly as she really didn't want a scene here in the restaurant and in front of their friends.

Before she could reply, John, with his girlfriend in tow, was standing by their table, a cheesy grin on his face which Caroline would have dearly loved to have wiped off with one of the many less-than-complimentary comments running through her head at the moment but she would play nicely, if only for Kate's sake.

"Caroline…..Kate…Hi….How nice to see you. What are you doing here?" John asked in an annoyingly jolly voice.

"Hello, John," they both answered civilly with polite smiles pasted on their faces.

"We thought we'd try out this new restaurant and have a meal with our friends. Have you met Sandon and Patrick, Lily's parents?" Caroline continued cordially as she gestured towards the two men sitting on the other side of the table.

John's mouth hung open a little as he processed the information and made sense of the implication and then, realising he was perhaps being a bit discourteous, he reached out his hand to Sandon and then Patrick and gave each one a firm, manly handshake.

"Ah no, we haven't met before…Lawrence has mentioned Pat and Sandy but I just assumed….I didn't know you were both…..Nice to meet you…"

After a brief moment of awkward silence, John made his own introductions.

"Candice, I'd like you to meet Caroline….my wi….my ex-wife…"

Both women nodded and smiled knowingly at each other, neither one letting on to John that they had already met.

"And this is her…um…wife, Kate."

Kate allowed her a warm smile and a friendly 'hello'.

"Everyone, this is my…er…my girlfriend, Candice….Candice Baker."

Both Sandon and Patrick shook her hand politely.

Not having seen her son for several days, Caroline asked, "How's Lawrence?"

"He's fine…..good….fine."

Caroline sensed some uncertainty.

"What's he up to tonight?"

John hesitated. "Um….I'm not….I think…"

Patrick came to his rescue with, "He and Lily have gone to the movies."

"The movies….that's right…." John repeated unconvincingly and then, eager to escape any further questions to which he may not know the answer, he added, "Well, it's been lovely to see…meet you….we'll leave you to have your meal….nice to meet you."

Caroline took a long gulp of her wine as she watched the pair walk away.

"It's probably too late to cancel her contract isn't it?" Caroline thought out loud.

oooOooo

Once John and his girlfriend were out of sight and mind, it had turned into a very enjoyable and entertaining evening. The food was wonderful, the service was efficient without being annoying and, as always, Sandon and Patrick were fabulous company. Consequently, both women were still in very good humour when they arrived home.

As Caroline stood by the sideboard at the end of the entrance way, checking the phone for messages, Kate came up noiselessly behind her, placing one hand around her waist while, with the other hand, she brushed aside the fall of blonde hair and pressed a series of feather-light kisses on the back of her wife's neck sending a shiver of delight down Caroline's spine.

"I'm going upstairs," Kate whispered suggestively in Caroline's ear, the flurry of her warm breath setting off a further wave of sensual pleasure.

Now full of amorous intent, Caroline turned in Kate's arm and in a single move had her backed up against the opposite wall. Suddenly each woman's mouth was playing hungrily upon the other's, each tongue searching insistently. With a gentle nudge, Caroline parted Kate's legs and deliberately pressed her thigh firmly between them. Her reward, a rasping, guttural groan which only encouraged Caroline to press more firmly still.

Just as pulses were beginning to race in expectation, Caroline's phone started up a persistent buzz and ringing from within her pocket. At first, she considered not answering but a phone call this late at night could mean a possible emergency.

Reluctantly, Caroline pulled away from Kate, who gave her a look of sheer disappointment, and attempted to regain at least some of her composure as she retrieved the phone.

As she looked at the screen to identify the caller she couldn't help a roll of her eyes.

_"__What now?"_ Caroline growled to herself as she answered, "Gillian?"

"Caroline?"

"Yes….It's very late to be calling. Is everything alright?"

There was a long, nervous pause at the other end of the phone.

"Oh, Caroline….I'm sorry…..but….I've gone and done something really stupid…really, really stupid."

The words filled Caroline with a sense of dread.

"What?"

There was more anxious hesitation.

"I've gone and told him….Robbie…..everything…..about Eddie."

Kate watched on with increasing concern and curiosity as an expression of absolute shock filled her wife's face.

"Oh my God," Caroline gasped.

"And he's had me arrested and charged…..I'm down the nick and this is my one phone call." Gillian stopped to choke back her tears. "Can you tell my dad what's happened? Break it to him gently….be careful of his heart."

oooOooo


	13. Chapter 13

**_A Gift of Life_**

**_Chapter 13_**

"Flora Grace McKenzie-Dawson!"

Kate stood at the bottom of the stairs as she called up to her daughter for a second time in as many minutes and waited impatiently for her to emerge from her room….William's old room.

"Don't make me come up there…"

Eventually Flora's slim, graceful form appeared on the landing at the top of the staircase, her hand-on-hip pose reflecting that of her mother's.

"What?" Flora asked with a perceptible edge of annoyance.

Just lately Flora had been trying 'fractious' on for size but it hadn't really been a good fit and one discerning look at the stern expression now on her mother's face told her she needed to immediately rethink her whole approach. Of course, the fact that her mother had used her full name should have been her first clue that perhaps she should tread warily.

Kate's own almond-shaped, brown eyes looked down at her from her daughter's face. With the same perfect nose, high cheekbones and full mouth, there was no doubt that she was Kate's daughter, born of her flesh and blood. The most obvious point of contrast was Flora's hair which, although darkish-brown was still several shades lighter than her mother's and fell in loose, silky curls to her shoulders. A vast improvement, Kate often thought, on her own tight wiry locks that were always unwilling to be tamed and seemed to have a mind of their own.

Flora quickly back-pedalled with a tentative "I'm sorry, mum" as she gambolled down the stairs towards her.

Placated only slightly by the apology, Kate explained in no uncertain terms, "If you want your tenth birthday party to go ahead this afternoon and for it not be your last you need to come and help me get the place clean and tidy."

"But it's only going to get messed up again at the party," Flora couldn't help but argue even though she knew it was futile and probably the wrong move to make. It's just what ten-year-olds do, always trying to move that line in the sand.

"That may be so but it's still going to be done and you're going to help." The line remained where it always was.

Every so often, Flora managed to talk her mother into doing something she really didn't want to do, like the time she convinced her to try skateboarding which ended in grazed palms and a torn pair of jeans or when she was adamant that if they listened to an entire One Direction album on their drive to Halifax Kate would become a fan too but, instead, it gave her a thumping headache and almost caused her ears to bleed. This tenth birthday party was another one of those things.

Even though it was her daughter's birthday and an obvious cause for celebration, for Kate, it was also a reminder of how close she had come to not having any of the things she values most….her child, her wife and her own life. It was the one time of the year where she couldn't seem to stop the memories of that horrific and freakish accident creeping out from the dark recesses of her mind and swamping her thoughts. Even though it was ten years on, the images that played in her head were crystal clear and the anxiety it created was very real. However, she had learned, over time and from experience, to deal with these feelings and once she had worked through the sadness and anguish they caused, she was inevitably left feeling thankful for what she had but sometimes the journey from grief to grateful was a difficult one.

Several years ago Flora had noticed the thin, tell-tale line, much paler than the rest of her skin and the only visible sign of the accident that ran across Kate's stomach and had questioned her about it. Deciding that the truth was the best way to proceed but without seeing the need to go into frightening detail, Kate told her about the circumstances surrounding her birth. Flora had been upset at first at the thought of such an awful thing happening to her and her mother and experienced just an inkling of fear as she came to appreciate that she was luckier than most to be alive. Kate assured her that they had both made a quick and full recovery, however, she didn't attempt to explain that there was more than just the physical scars of it all as she couldn't expect Flora to understand just yet the emotional upset….possibly the more damaging side to the accident….that followed and the trauma that had been indelibly etched in her mind…but for now, it was a birthday so Kate and Caroline had agreed to a celebration and a party had been duly organised.

As Flora stood one or two steps from the bottom of the staircase and almost at eye level with her mother, she transformed back into the loving daughter she was most of the time as she put her skinny arms around Kate's neck, kissed her cheek and flashed a warm, generous smile full of gleaming white teeth and dimples….the same smile Kate, herself, had used on more than one occasion and to great effect to melt Caroline's mood and often her heart.

"Sorry, mum…I love you."

Unable to resist her daughter's charm or remain cross with her for any length of time, Kate drew the girl's slender body into a conciliatory hug and placed a kiss on her forehead. Flora took advantage of their proximity to wrap her bony legs around her mother's waist, attaching her lithe frame to Kate's and clinging on like a baby baboon.

"You're incorrigible," Kate laughed as they then headed to the lounge room and the waiting chores.

Happy that her mother no longer appeared cross but unsure as to whether she was being chastised or complimented, Flora asked, "What does that mean?"

"It means that despite your attempt to argue and then charm your way out of it, you're still going to vacuum and dust the lounge room and the dining room while I prepare the food in the kitchen," Kate explained with a grin.

Succumbing to the inevitable and accepting her fate, Flora unfolded her legs and arms from around her mother and as she stood beside her, Kate noted that her daughter was already almost chest high to her.

"Tilly Johnson's parents pay someone to come and clean once a week ….and cook," Flora stated as she plugged in the cord to the vacuum cleaner, still willing to push the argument.

"Well, when you're earning enough money for us to have a cleaner I'm happy to go there," Kate replied flatly, "besides, Tilly Johnson can barely tie her own shoelaces, spends all her time looking down her nose at people and is a spoilt brat. Do you really want to be like her?"

"No," Flora conceded meekly. She didn't even like Tilly Johnson even though she did have her own horse. As a way of changing the subject, she then asked, "Where's mama?"

"She's visiting your Aunty Gillian," Kate replied with a dismissive wave of her hand, hoping to avoid any follow-up discussion.

Although Kate and Caroline were happy to answer most of their daughter's questions openly and honestly, they preferred not to discuss too many of the 'ins and outs' of Gillian's crime and subsequent incarceration. It had all happened when Flora was less than a year old and far too young to remember or be cognisant of the drama and family upheaval it had caused. Maybe one day, when she was older and could understand more fully, they would explain further but, for now, as far as Flora knew Aunty Gillian was in prison for accidentally killing a man who had tried to hurt her, all of which seemed grossly unfair to the young girl.

Not to be so easily deterred, Flora asked, "How much longer until Aunty Gillian can come home?"

She was concerned for her aunt's well-being for although she barely knew her, some of the stories she had heard told made her aunt seem interesting and someone she'd like to get to know.

"You need to stop asking questions, young lady, and turn on that vacuum cleaner," Kate insisted as a means of diversion, "I know what you're doing…it's called work avoidance or, in this case, cleaning avoidance. At this rate your guests will all be arriving and you'll still be doing your chores."

Kate swallowed hard on the lump that always formed in her throat when she thought of Gillian in prison.

The trial, when it eventually happened, had been a long, drawn-out, complicated affair spanning over several weeks. Word of the 'heinous crime' of a woman bashing her husband to death in a sleepy Yorkshire town and getting away with it for over ten years spread like wildfire, capturing everyone's morbid curiosity and as a result attracted journalists from all over the country. Each day they swarmed into the courtroom and picked over every detail like carrion on a carcass, reporting, always with a sensational headline, every juicy scrap of news for the general public to devour in the local tabloids. It had been quite the feeding frenzy.

Despite Gillian confessing from the outset to hitting her first husband, Edward "Eddie" Greenwood, over the head with a lump of timber until he was dead, the trial was made more complex by the mitigating circumstances that drove her to take such action.

The judge and jury were asked by the defence to take into account the years of physical and emotional abuse Gillian had suffered up to that point and to understand that she had been left with no real alternative but to resort to such drastic action as a means of self-preservation. The other bone of contention was whether her actions had been planned or if they simply occurred on the spur on the moment and were in self-defence.

The prosecution had argued that Gillian's intentions had been premeditated and that she had deliberately schemed to get her husband drunk and then lured him into the barn under false pretences for the specific purpose of murdering him.

In turn, Gillian's defence had rejected this notion entirely contending that exactly the opposite had happened. In their rebuttal they explained that, after too many drinks, Gillian and her husband had fought, as they often did. In a rage, Eddie had stormed out of the house and into the barn. After he had been gone for a considerable length of time and hopefully calmed down, Gillian went in search. When she entered the barn she found herself suddenly the focus of the all-too-familiar cold stare of her husband's hard, black eyes and saw the twisted, deranged snarl on his mouth. She immediately sensed she was in danger. Before she knew it, he was bearing down on her with his clenched fist raised and ready to strike as soon as she was within range.

It was Gillian's claim that, in self-defence, she picked up the length of wood that was leaning against a nearby wall and which she had noticed out of the corner of her eye. She had initially used it to fend him off, however, she had unintentionally connected with a blow to his head that tipped him off balance. As he lay on the ground, relatively defenceless, Gillian couldn't say for certain what actually happened next. It was as though some part of her brain had snapped and all the horrendous things he had done to her over the years had come rushing to the surface, overwhelming her, driving her….some form of temporary madness. Once she started hitting him she didn't stop...couldn't stop...until his head had become a bloodied and battered pulp.

"If I hadn't done it to him, he'd have done it to me," she had claimed through the tears of remorse that stained her cheeks.

At this point in the trial the defence had Gillian paint a gruesomely detailed picture of what exactly she had been forced to endure while married to Eddie – the cigarette burns to various parts of her body, the vicious punches which on one occasion knocked out three of her back teeth and on other occasions left her with blackened eyes and numerous broken bones; then there was the rape and the verbal abuse….the humiliation, the torment, the anguish….and all of this under the same roof where they raised their young son.

As she sat with Caroline through parts of the trial and listened to the details unfold, Kate was both shocked and repulsed by the treatment that had been dealt out to Gillian at the hands of her malicious husband. She could remember sitting in the crowded gallery, hearing the horrified gasps, seeing the heads shake in disbelief and feeling the hot bile rise in her own throat. She literally felt sick to her stomach as she listened to the unthinkable things Eddie had done. How could anyone deal with that and still manage to raise a young boy?

Gillian explained to the court that when she eventually realised what she had done, rather than panic, she experienced a strange, out-of-body calm as she mechanically went about making it look like her husband had committed suicide using the log splitter. It wasn't until she had finished doing this that she, firstly, called the ambulance and, in turn, her father. Then the reality of what she had done had set in as did the repulsion and dread.

"Did you, at any time, tell anyone else what you had done?" the prosecution had asked.

Kate could distinctly remember at this point Caroline's face blanching and her piercing, blue eyes staring desperately at Gillian as though she was trying to penetrate the woman's mind with some secret message. The already tight grip Caroline had on Kate's hand had fastened considerably.

Gillian had hesitated. Her fingers were pressed to her lips to stop them trembling as her eyes, awash with tears, glanced around the courtroom, picking out and pleading with various people…her dad, Caroline, Raff…. while the question hung in the air, until finally she answered with a quavering, "No…..Not until I told Robbie…. As far as anyone else ever knew, Eddie had tried to kill himself with the log-splitter."

Fortunately, everyone was too mesmerised by the drama unfolding and too focussed on the words of the defendant to have noticed the relieved sighs and the tension visibly drain from the faces of Alan and Caroline as they watched from the gallery. Caroline's vice-like grip on Kate's hand suddenly eased and her face gradually regained some colour.

The prosecution had attempted to dismiss her husband's transgressions, implying that Gillian had brought most of it upon herself by taking part in and, indeed, encouraging the drinking binges that preceded much of the abuse. After all, why would anyone stay in such a hostile environment, particularly with a child? It was one of several questions Gillian had asked herself many, many times over the years but she was still was unable to come up with any conclusive answers.

_Where could she have gone? If she had left, would he have found her and punished her as he had promised to do? Was it all, in some way, her own fault? Could she have done things better for Eddie and her son?_

During the trial, life for those who were found to be close to the victim or defendant became a constant wade through a sea of flashing cameras and persistent harassment as members of the press searched for that extra piece of the puzzle that would earn them a bonus. At first, it was frightening, then merely annoying and eventually it grew tedious. It was only after sentencing that interest waned and their privacy returned.

It had been a mid-morning, almost two weeks after the start of the trial, that both the prosecution and the defence had finished presenting their closing arguments. The judge followed by summing up the case for the jury before sending them away to a private room to consider the evidence and to arrive at a verdict.

Kate had waited with Caroline and the rest of the family…..Alan and Celia, Raff and Ellie as well as Harry…..in the courthouse building, hoping that a conclusion would be reached swiftly and in Gillian's favour. However, as the hours ticked by and the afternoon wore on, it became clear that the jury was having difficulty coming to any sort of consensus and a final decision would not be made that day.

Members of the jury were sent home with strict instructions not to discuss any aspect of the trial until they returned the next day and were back in the room.

Family members went home to an unsettled and sleepless night.

It wasn't until late the following morning that the court was reassembled as word quickly spread that a decision had been reached. A tense crowd waited and watched expectantly from the public gallery as a drawn and dispirited Gillian was returned to the defendant's dock and the jury filed back into the courtroom. Everyone stood as the judge entered and took his place.

With the courtroom re-seated, the judge then addressed the foreperson, his tone suitably sombre.

"Madam Foreperson, have you reached a verdict?"

"We have, your Honour."

"Do you find the defendant guilty or not guilty?"

The level of tension and anticipation in the courtroom was almost palpable.

"Guilty, your Honour."

In a check to make sure the finding was legal, the judge asked, "What was the count?"

"Eleven to one, your Honour."

An allowable majority. Gillian's fate was sealed.

At first Gillian appeared dazed and confused, not quite comprehending or believing what was happening to her.

Caroline covered her face with her hands to hide the shock and the tears. Kate put her arm around her shoulders to console her. There were no words to lessen the blow….it wasn't going to be alright…..things probably weren't going to get better any time soon.

Raff shot to his feet and called out a long and defiant, "No!"

None of it made any difference.

The judge proceeded to sentence Gillian Alison Greenwood to 15 years imprisonment for the voluntary manslaughter of Edward Greenwood, specifying that 10 years were to be served before consideration be given to parole.

As Gillian was being led from the dock, the harsh reality hit her. She staggered and fell as she dissolved into disconsolate sobbing. The court officials dragged her back to her feet and escorted her from the room.

For almost the last ten years, at least once every month if at all possible, Caroline has caught the train to London and visited her step-sister in HMP Larkhall. Although Caroline had tended to believe that Gillian's bed was to some extent of her own making and now she was having to lie in it, she also thought that the harshness of her punishment far outweighed her crime. Caroline also had a lot of respect for the woman for, even if it wasn't always convenient, Gillian had always been brave enough to be true to herself whereas Caroline was well aware that for nearly two decades she hadn't been quite so courageous. Even though they had been randomly thrown together and regardless of her faults, Caroline realised that she did love Gillian.

Resigned to the fact that there was no way out of it, Flora flicked the switch bringing the vacuum cleaner to life, its loud drone making it impossible for any further conversation.

oooOooo

As Kate stood at the kitchen bench carefully pouring warm, red jelly mixture into dessert bowls and submerging a chocolate frog in each, above the noisy hum of the vacuum cleaner she heard the clatter of Caroline's car keys as they were tossed into the dish on the sideboard followed by the clomp of her boots on the wooden floor as she walked through the foyer.

Not wanting to interrupt an industrious Flora who was busily tossing aside cushions from the sofa so she could clean underneath, Caroline simply smiled and waved as she passed on her way to the kitchen.

"Afternoon," Caroline whispered as she placed a kiss on her wife's cheek and then headed straight for the kettle. She was parched and in desperate need of a decent cup of tea.

"Oh, hello," Kate replied still concentrating on emptying the last of the jelly mixture into the final bowl without spilling any of it.

"How are the party preparations coming along?" Caroline inquired as she reached for the tea leaves and teapot. "I feel bad about not being here to help you but I had to….you know….see Gillian….she was such a mess the last time I visited….I was quite worried about her."

Kate rinsed out the large glass jug she had been using and left it to sit in the sink as she moved in closer to her wife, slipped her hands under the loose blouse she wore and clasped her arms around Caroline's waist, bare flesh pressed against bare flesh. She peered into the sea of blue that was Caroline's eyes.

"I know….It's alright, Caroline," Kate assured her, "besides, it's more like a play day than a proper party…Flora has invited six or seven of her friends from school and Calamity, of course."

As Raff had once feared, the name had stuck.

"They'll keep themselves entertained for the most part, I imagine …..Hopefully, all we'll have to do is make sure there's enough food and drink and a birthday cake with candles."

All three of them had contributed to making the two-tiered chocolate cake with cream filling and rich chocolate icing the previous night and ten candles had since been located so all the important things were now done.

Reluctantly Caroline moved out of Kate's grasp so she could finish making the tea.

"It looks like this sunny weather is going to hold out for the rest of afternoon," she observed as she looked out of the kitchen window. "With any luck, they'll spend most of their time outside…Are Lawrence and Lily bringing the twins over for the party…play day?"

"They were but Lawrence rang to say that Oliver is sick and they suspect Sarah is coming down with the same thing so they thought it best to keep them home."

Although disappointed at not seeing her grandchildren, Caroline knew that he was right. Sick five year olds needed to stay home and rest.

"How long until our other guests start arriving?"

Kate looked at the clock on the microwave.

"We've got about another hour."

As Kate settled onto a stool, Caroline poured the tea and placed both mugs on the kitchen island.

"How was Gillian?" Kate asked casually as she blew on her tea to cool it before taking a sip.

Caroline thought for a moment.

"She was…um…Gillian, really…you know….all over the place."

Caroline took a sip of her tea too as she tried to find a better way to express what she meant.

"She was nervous and panicking because she has her final law exams next week and, typical Gillian, she's convinced she will fail….but, of course, she won't…she's done nothing but read law books for the past ten years…..She's tired and fretful because she's been up late studying and hasn't been able to sleep with worry…"

"Did she mention her parole again?"

"That's the other thing that has her wound tighter than a two bob watch," Caroline explained with a sigh. "She's up for her review for parole in a month's time and while she thinks she should qualify, she's trying not to get too excited in case it doesn't come through….I'm concerned the disappointment could crush her."

"Can they really refuse her? Apart from some 'settling in' problems at the beginning, she's been a model pris…inma…whatever…with her nose stuck in her law books most of the time."

"She's convinced she's eligible but things aren't always quite so predictable in prison and can go pear-shaped very quickly, or so she says…..she seems to think she'll be okay if she keeps her nose clean for the next month and avoids crossing the path of one particular 'screw'."

Caroline made quotation marks in the air to emphasise her use of the jargon.

"Someone called…Barf Bag? …Body Bag?...Something like that….who is apparently very nasty."

Kate laughed at her wife's use of the prison vernacular and for a brief second tried to conjure up an image of Caroline as an inmate but it was virtually impossible.

"So it's probable that Gillian could be free in a couple of months?"

Caroline nodded as she took another mouthful of her tea.

"Do you think she'll go back to the farm?"

Prior to the trial, Gillian had sat Raff down in their kitchen one evening and had the grim conversation with him about the likelihood of her going to prison and the future of the farm if she did. Keeping the farm running was a tough job at the best of times; from prison it would be well-nigh impossible so she had pre-empted her situation by organising and signing off on all the required paperwork to put the farm up for sale should it become necessary. She had instructed a reluctant Raff to use the profits from the sale to rent or buy a place where he could live and bring up his daughter, Emily-Jane. He was also put under strict orders to continue his studies rather than try and work the farm. Having done well at his "A Levels" Raff had begun his first year of veterinary science and Gillian was determined that this was his future.

In his despair and uncertainty as to whether or not he should follow his mother's wishes, Raff had discussed his problems with Gary. Always willing to use his wealth to help out family and also wanting Raff to continue his studies, Gary offered to pay for the upkeep of the farm should Gillian be incarcerated. Although she never liked being beholding to anyone, she saw it as one of the few feasible options she had open to her that would help her son stay at university so she agreed to accept the offer.

Gary had, for almost ten years now, been paying for the maintenance of the farm. Soon after Gillian had been sentenced, he'd found a suitable couple whom he paid to live in and look after the place and take care of the sheep. They'd done an excellent job and for the past five years had even turned over a tidy profit from their endeavour, the majority of which Gary secreted into an account for Gillian and to which she would have access on her release.

"No, I don't think she will," Caroline answered honestly, "there's too many bad memories. Do you know, she once told me that she had shed blood in every single room in that house….I don't think she'll go back to that…..I know I couldn't."

The conversation ebbed momentarily as they silently contemplated what it must have been like for Gillian living with the constant threat of such violence hanging over her head.

Both women had had their own demons of sorts to deal with at various stages of their lives but nothing that really came close to the vileness of the physical and mental abuse Gillian had survived. _Nobody should have to live like that, they each wordlessly concluded._

"After ten years away and with Alan gone and Raff moved out, it wouldn't be the same….Gillian's not the same," Kate stated pensively.

It was true. Gillian wasn't the same person she had been before prison. Growing up and particularly in her teens she had caused her parents a lot of heartache…looking back, she could see that now…and for most of her adulthood she had gone from one regrettable incident to the next, making very little of her life and with total disregard for the consequences until finally it all caught up with her and paid her back in spades eventually costing her her freedom. However, for Gillian, the ultimate price was having to live with the knowledge that she was the most likely cause of her father's death.

For many years Alan's health and particularly his heart had been in a fragile state with his doctors warning him to take things easy as he probably wouldn't survive another heart attack, not even a mild one.

Amidst the frenzy and furore that erupted at the trial when the jury pronounced her guilty, all attention was focussed on Gillian. Nobody noticed Alan sitting in the gallery with his hand clutching desperately at the sudden, searing pain in his chest which left him unable to breath and unable to attract any sort of attention. It was only when Celia stood up to leave and motioned for him to do the same that she became aware of the situation and frantically called out for help.

It took what seemed like an age for her cries to be finally noticed for what they were and for an ambulance to be called. Paramedics already at the courthouse worked on him but it had all been too late. Alan was pronounced dead on arrival at the hospital.

Gillian now had no choice but to live with the uncomfortable truth that she was the cause of her father's final, fatal heart attack and it was this festering feeling of guilt that initiated her decision to try and turn her life around. She had nothing but time on her hands and she was determined to use it wisely and spend the rest of her life doing something worthwhile….a penance perhaps for the grief she had caused to others….her mother, her dad, Robbie, Raff, Caroline….maybe even John and the people whose cars she used to steal when a teenager and joy-ride in….everyone.

Adamant that she had been unfairly treated by the justice system, Gillian had decided to take it upon herself to right this wrong for other victims of domestic violence and show others and perhaps even herself that she wasn't thick and she wasn't a lost cause.

"Anyway, she's determined to follow this new career path with law," Caroline continued, "She wants to become an advocate for other women who are victims of domestic violence…..She's talked of selling the farm and using the money from the sale as well as what was left to her in her dad's will to create a women's shelter and law office closer to town."

Their attention was drawn by the sudden quiet as the monotonous hum of the vacuum cleaner stopped, making their voices seem suddenly too loud.

Moments later Flora skipped into the kitchen to join them, more cheery now that her job was done.

"Hi mama. How's Aunty Gillian?" she asked as she wrapped an arm around Caroline's waist.

"She's fine, sweetheart….she's good," Caroline responded as she ran a hand over her daughter's head and its mass of curls.

Then looking up at them a little coyly, Flora said, "Can I ask you both something?'

"Sure…..What is it?" Caroline replied with a smile which she hoped would ease her daughter's apparent nervousness.

Flora hesitated, made a decision and plunged in.

"I know, strictly speaking, that my birthday is on Monday…..but…would it be possible…would I be able to have my presents today?"

Caroline and Kate gave each other a collusive glance.

"Oh, you wanted presents AND a party? Kate said in mock surprise. "You should have said."

Attempting not to let her disappointment show, Flora eventually replied, "It's fine…Thanks for the party, Mama…Mum."

In turn, she gave each of her mothers a grateful hug.

Feeling guilty, Caroline spoke up. "Your birthday is on Monday so maybe we'll have come up with something by then."

Flora caught the wink that transpired between her parents and suddenly realised she was being teased. A broad smile lit up her face as she gave them each a playful slap.

"Have you finished your jobs?" Kate checked.

Flora nodded. "Yep."

"And everything is put away?"

"Of course" she replied with an exasperated sigh and then asked, "Mum, do you know where the Twister is?"

"Last time I saw it, you had it stashed away in your toy chest."

"I've already looked and it's not there."

"When did you have it last?" Caroline joined in, trying to help.

"Two weekends ago when Calamity stayed for a sleepover….."

Her voice trailed off and a sheepish expression took over her face.

"Ah! So that's what all that thumping about and giggling in the middle of the night was about?"

Not willing to fully admit to the misdemeanour of playing Twister by torchlight when they were supposed to be asleep, Flora answered with a non-committal "Possibly."

With the crime well past its statute of limitations, Kate let it slide and instead asked, "Where did you put it after that?"

"I fell asleep….I think Calamity put it away."

"Okay, so it could be anywhere," Kate concluded with an exasperated sigh, "go and look under your bed and in the bottom of your wardrobe. If it's not there I'll come up and help you search for it."

_"__All those fancy, fandangle video games available but they still prefer to play with a sheet of spotty plastic and a cardboard spinner," Caroline noted with a confounded shake of her head and a wry smile._

As Flora went off to solve the mystery of the missing Twister, Caroline poured the dregs of her tea into the sink and rinsed her mug.

"If you don't need help with anything else, I think I'll go and look in on my mother…..make sure she's okay and let her know Flora's having a bit of a party otherwise she'll call the police again…."

Kate laughed to herself as she remembered the police pulling into the drive on a Saturday morning and ordering the handful of people in the backyard to remain where they were as they'd had a report of looting. A highly embarrassed Caroline had had to explain to the officer that it was actually a garage sale and nothing had been stolen but she had forgotten to tell her mum who had been the one to make the call.

"Then I'll go and finish clearing out the spare room," Caroline added.

For the past several days Caroline had been systematically removing most of the unnecessary furniture out of the spare room and into the garage where she was planning to store it until Lily and Lawrence or even Raff and Ellie had had a chance to pick over it and take anything they decided they wanted. The rest she would sell or maybe even give away. Kate didn't mind the loss of the furniture as most of it was old….some of it was even from the time of Caroline and John….but Caroline was behaving quite mysteriously and refusing to tell her what was behind this sudden urge to revamp that particular room.

"What exactly are you planning to do in there?" Kate tried yet again, "You're going to have to tell me sooner or later."

"Am I?" Caroline smiled but she could tell the veil of secrecy was wearing thin. "I promise that you will know by tomorrow afternoon….Can you wait until then?"

Without a clue as to what the woman was up to, Kate rolled her eyes. "I guess so."

Tomorrow was their wedding anniversary and Caroline had planned a special gift for her wife.

After a long hiatus, Kate had recently begun playing the piano again and had even started to teach an enthusiastic Flora some basic skills and tunes. Caroline knew that it gave Kate immense pleasure to be able to sit at the piano and immerse herself in her music but somewhere along the way, since having a baby, she had forgotten to make time to do this so Caroline was thrilled to see her take it up again.

Presently, they only had her mother's old upright piano for Kate to play which was badly in need of tuning and had definitely seen better days so Caroline had made the portentous decision to purchase a baby grand piano as an anniversary present. It was a decision that had taken much contemplation for although Caroline would have happily bought it for her at the drop of a hat, she was well aware of the fact that Kate would think it was too extravagant a gift but she had her arguments prepared. Firstly, it was a second-hand piano rather than a brand new one (although it was only a few years old and had hardly been played) so she had saved several thousand pounds there and then there was always the idea that it was two gifts in one as it would also be for Flora to use and therefore very educational; lastly, Caroline would maintain that she had also bought it for selfish reasons because she loved listening to Kate play. All very convincing arguments, Caroline thought, however, she wouldn't mention to Kate that it had cost an arm and a leg to organise for delivery on a Sunday.

oooOooo

Caroline rapped lightly on the glass panel of the door to the flat at the back of the house. There was no response so she tapped again more firmly and waited patiently for her mother who was considerably less mobile these days to answer.

Just as Caroline was becoming worried and was about to locate the spare key and let herself in, she spotted Celia heading slowly and a little unsteadily towards the door. Despite it being early afternoon, she was still wrapped in her dressing gown and wearing her slippers.

"Mum, you need to get changed. You can't go around in your pyjamas all day, every day," Caroline chastised gently as her mother opened the door to let her in.

"Can't I? Why ever not?" Celia responded flatly, "Who's to notice? It's not like I'm going anywhere or expecting visitors. Who gives a monkey's what I wear?"

"I do," Caroline replied, her voice faltering a little as it upset her to see her mother so uncaring about her personal appearance or well-being. "Let's find you something to change into…Flora is having her birthday party today so you should really go around and see her….and Emily-Jane will be there too."

"I thought her birthday was on Monday."

"It is but she's having some friends over today because it's …..it's more convenient on a Saturday, " Caroline explained distractedly as she sorted through the limited choice of dresses her mother had hanging in her wardrobe, looking for an appropriate outfit for her to wear. She was hoping to find something a bit colourful to perhaps lift Celia's spirits but she was shocked to see that her mother's selection of clothes had dwindled down to a few rather drab outfits.

"We must take you shopping for some new clothes," Caroline announced, "these are all too dowdy."

"If you say so, love," Celia replied co-operatively but with little in the way of genuine interest.

Again Caroline felt a lump of emotion form in her throat. Her mother had once loved to go clothes shopping and had always enjoyed having a wide range of get-ups in various styles and colours and often with matching hats; now she could raise no enthusiasm for them at all. It was as though, with the loss of Alan, light no longer passed through life's prism and Celia was left living with only shades of grey.

Although Celia, now aged 84, was still physically quite able and all her mental faculties were firmly intact, predictably the loss of her soul mate had caused her enormous grief….it was a loss from which she had never fully recovered.

Following Alan's death, Caroline had had to watch on helplessly as the strong, self-assured woman who was her mother wilted before her very eyes, torn apart by sorrow, and there was very little she could do to ease the anguish.

Celia had wept for an entire week solid and all Caroline could do to console her was to be there for her and assure her that although it would be tough for a while, the pain wouldn't last forever even though it was hard to imagine at the moment. It gave the grieving woman little comfort or relief.

Of course, over the ensuing weeks, Caroline was there to make sure her mother ate and bathed, basic things which Celia would neglect to do in her sorrow. She also tried to distract her from her misery with conversation and short outings but it was obvious that a light inside her had gone out. The situation brought back to Caroline a question that Gillian had once put to her.

_"__Is it possible to die from a broken heart?"_

Caroline was convinced that that was what was happening to her mother.

However, time, as only time does, gradually saw Celia's pain ease and become relegated to a dull heartache that was her constant companion rather than the paralysing agony it had been for so many months. Slowly she began eating rather than pecking at her food and most mornings she managed to crawl out of bed instead of lying there under the security of the covers for days on end.

Steadily some of her vigour for life returned although, without Alan, it had diminished considerably. She had become quiet, pensive and had lost most of her feistiness. Caroline rarely saw her smile.

Constantly concerned for her mother's well-being, Caroline had hired a full-time carer who came each week day and saw to Celia's needs and provided her with some company. At first, Celia had been adamant that she didn't require help nor did she want someone else…a stranger… in her flat bothering her and telling her what to do but Mary, the woman Caroline had hired, had gradually won her over.

Now, nine years on, Mary was Celia's closest friend and confidante as well as her nurse and on many occasions since, Celia had said to Caroline, "I don't know what I would do without Mary."

Unfortunately, just over a week ago, Mary had informed Caroline, through an outpouring of tears, that her own parents would soon be in need of full-time assistance and after the end of next month she would no longer be available to take care of Celia.

The woman was distraught at having to abandon her duty and her friend but as Caroline reassured her, there was really no alternative and that they would manage. In truth, she knew that her mother would be devastated by the loss and it wouldn't be an easy task to find a replacement for Mary, if indeed, one could be found at all.

After a long conversation with Kate where a number of possibilities were tossed around, a solution had finally been reached. Caroline had convinced Mary to stay on for an extra two months, unless, of course, her own parents' needs became urgent, in which case she was free to leave immediately…..this would bring them up to the end of the school year at which time Caroline would retire as Head Teacher of Sulgrave Heath Independent School and be available to take care of her mother full-time. It was one or two years earlier than she had planned to retire but she had a not insubstantial pension fund going on and she'd done the maths….they'd still be able to live comfortably, especially if Kate continued to work part-time for another year or two.

Caroline was yet to break the news to her mother about Mary or reveal her plan but today wasn't the day for it as there was a birthday party to be had so instead she helped her mother into a fresh change of clothes and made her a cup of tea and a sandwich that Celia promised her she would eat. Then, at the sound of tyres crunching on the gravel driveway heralding the arrival of guests, Caroline excused herself and returned to the house.

Several cars rolled up the driveway in quick succession and by a quarter past two all the invited party guests had arrived. It was time for the pandemonium to begin.

Before the true revelry started, Flora and her friends had gathered in the living room for the all-important opening of gifts. One at a time, each meticulously wrapped present was handed over with excited smiles and received with a polite 'thank you' and then, in a matter of seconds, the paper was ruthlessly torn away to reveal the most desirable of treasures within which was accompanied by satisfied squeals of delight from Flora and onlookers alike. A second wave of shrill squeals went up as, in turn, Flora handed out little gift packs of her own to each of her friends.

oooOooo

After hours of games, some orchestrated and others spontaneous, as well as copious amounts of food and drink, weary party-goers were gradually collected by their appreciative parents who, more likely than not, had spent a much more restful afternoon than Kate and Caroline. By half five all had left….all, that is, except for Emily-Jane.

Both Flora and Emily-Jane had begged mercilessly for her to be allowed to stay overnight and neither Kate nor Caroline, after three hours of catering to several rambunctious ten year olds, were in any fit state to put up anything other than token resistance so arrangements had been made with Raff and Ellie to pick up their daughter the following morning. With their son, Thomas, going through the 'terrible twos' they were probably relieved to have one less child to deal with for the night.

Despite their plans to stay up and watch a movie and finish off the popcorn, once the two friends had curled up comfortably on the sofa it had only been a matter of a short while before they had crashed in a heap as all the excitement and activity of the day caught up with them and soon they were off up to their bedroom and tucked into their bunks. A sudden eerie quietness now echoed throughout the house.

So she wouldn't dwell on it during the night, Caroline insisted on doing the last of the cleaning up before joining her wife who was stretched out on the sofa in the living room enjoying a well-earned glass of red wine.

Eventually, with the dishwasher stacked and running, the leftovers stored in the fridge and her benchtops clean and tidy, Caroline poured herself a glass of wine also before heading into the living room to put her feet up too.

As she entered the room, it soon became apparent that Kate had also succumbed to the hectic pace of her ten year old's birthday party. Her day had started early with the tidying up and final preparations to be done and then with the arrival of the entourage of friends it had only become more frenetic with games to supervise, food and drink to serve up, the one or two scrapes to disinfect and band-aid and, of course, the occasional bout of upset to calm for there was never any escaping the shedding of tears with that many ten year old girls together for hours on end. Caroline had helped out where she could but Kate had definitely been the one at the battle front.

Kate must have fallen asleep almost as soon her head touched the cushion, Caroline thought to herself, as her glass of wine which rested on the coffee table remained untouched. Caroline put her own glass beside it and sat herself down on the very edge of the sofa being careful not to disturb. Her gaze was unfailingly captured by the beauty that was her glorious wife, her features now serene with sleep.

As she smoothed a hand lightly over her wife's head, noticing as she did, the stray strands of silvery-grey now woven intermittently into the braids, there was a sudden swelling in her heart of deep emotion for this woman, the fierceness of which filmed her eyes with tears and made her fingers tremble.

Kate had only been dozing lightly and at the touch of her wife's hand she blinked open her eyes and smiled up at her innocently…lovingly.

The sight of that smile caused Caroline's heart to give another absurd lurch but she managed to ask, "Should we take our glasses of wine upstairs?"

At that suggestion they both rose wordlessly from the sofa, collected the glasses of wine and made for their bedroom, switching off the lights behind them as they went.

As they reached Flora's room Kate discreetly opened the door and looked in on the two girls. They were each in their bunk bed and, for all intent and purposes, appeared to be sleeping peacefully. Noiselessly, the door was closed and the two women crept on quietly up the next level of stairs and to their own bed. It wasn't much longer until they too were curled up between the covers, their bodies spooned together snugly and each dead to the world.

However, back down the stairs in Flora's room, things weren't quite as they had seemed for if Caroline and Kate hadn't been sleeping quite so soundly they would have heard the hushed call of "Left hand…..Green" followed by an eruption of girlish giggles.

oooOooo


	14. Chapter 14

**_"A Gift of Life"_**

**_Chapter 14_**

Saturday mornings were usually reserved for a leisurely sleep-in but today neither Caroline nor Kate could take advantage of it as they were both far too restless so, instead, Caroline suggested they 'rise and shine' and take a walk to calm their excitement.

Arm in arm, they strolled casually through the local park keeping up an almost constant stream of light-hearted chatter as they did, their two figures dappled by light where the early morning sun penetrated the leafy canopy of the trees. High above them, the overhanging branches reached out like a protective hand across the path they were following.

Since retiring, a morning walk had become a week-day ritual for Caroline, at least, in the warmer months of the year. She would rise with Kate and Flora, share the inevitable rush of preparing lunches and having breakfast, see them both off to work and school and then, after a quick tidy-up of the kitchen and with weather permitting, she would don her runners and head off down the driveway towards the street. Usually she had no set map in mind; directions were chosen spontaneously as were pace and duration, often depending upon factors such as her mood or the demands of the day ahead. Caroline enjoyed this haphazardness as it was in total contrast to the routine that would follow. Occasionally, out of necessity, she would head in a particular direction but generally her route was selected at random, corner by corner. As she walked in this state of solitary bliss, Caroline found she was able to clear her mind of any extraneous worries or stresses and focus on sorting out the hours to come.

With the departure of the carer and Celia requiring full-time attention, Caroline had been forced to rethink her options and was left with no choice other than to end her career as Head Teacher at Sulgrave Heath Independent School in order to look after her mother. Her retirement was a little earlier than planned but there was no other viable option as far as she could see so for almost six years Caroline had devoted a large portion of every day to providing her mother with comfort, care and companionship.

Despite her age, Celia had, for the most part, maintained her mobility, albeit at a much slower pace and with the aid of a walking stick which she reluctantly used while adamantly refusing to have anything to do with the walking frame that Caroline had once hired for her. Her mind had remained quite sharp when she needed it to be and other than an occasional cold, she had experienced very little in the way of physical illness, however, after the heart break of Alan's death as well as the added loss of her carer and close friend, Mary, it was her spirit that had become frail and battle-weary as any enthusiasm for life steadily seeped out of her like the air from a tired balloon. Caroline was constantly confronted with the challenge of keeping her mother motivated enough to face each day. Eventually, only days away from her ninetieth birthday, Celia had passed away in her sleep as her grief-ravaged heart finally sank to rest.

Although it wasn't something that Caroline was totally unprepared for, the reality of it hit her hard and left her inconsolable for days. Regardless of the differences they had had over the years which, on one or two occasions, were serious enough to put the continuation of the relationship in total jeopardy, when tragedy had struck at various stages throughout their lives these differences were promptly put aside and each had been the other one's rock.

At Celia's passing, Caroline had experienced the expected deep sadness but also, hidden below the grief and sorrow, a huge wave of relief had washed over her for although she was always willingly there for her mother in whatever capacity was needed, Caroline recognised that Celia had been unbearably lonely and that every hour of every day her mother's heart ached for the want of Alan. Caroline knew that she too would tumble down that same well of loneliness if anything was to ever happen to Kate, no matter who was on hand to console her. Now her mother's pain was gone in the only manner it could go.

During the months to come the ache did ease for Caroline but just when all seemed quite settled, out of the blue, there would arrive that hot prickle behind her eyes as unsummoned tears welled up and began to flow, triggered by a chance thought, a memory or sometimes just a word and at other times by nothing more than a sudden longing. These tears and the accompanying tightening in her chest often took Caroline by surprise and left her wondering whether it was ever truly possible to get over the loss of a loved one.

Desperate to be of solace but aware that the only relief for such anguish was time, Kate waited patiently for its passing and in the meantime had to be satisfied with providing her wife with much-needed strength and support. Gillian, too, had been there in support, trying to put a positive outlook on things by suggesting that at least now Celia would be happy because she would be reunited with Alan but Caroline didn't have much time for spirits or souls or the after-life. She was more of the belief that once you were dead that was the end of it; you eventually became part of the earth you were buried in.

Caroline had often maintained that rising early and walking when she had been too agitated to sleep had helped her through her period of mourning and any other subsequent problems or distractions that had since arisen in her life so she had kept up the habit whenever possible and, following her own retirement from teaching quite a number of years ago now, Kate would often join her until the weather became chilly and the arthritis in her hips made her body too stiff and sore to walk any distance or at a reasonable pace. The arthritis was a result of the injuries she had received from her accident 25 years ago or so the doctors explained and, although any pain was usually kept under control, exposing herself to the harsh, Yorkshire cold was not advised.

This particular morning, however, was a glorious one with a picture-perfect blue sky fully exposing a bright, warm summer sun that, even at this early hour, made the vibrant colours of the flowers in the various garden beds they passed pop out at them from amidst the foliage and well-manicured lawn like thousands of brilliantly-coloured baubles afloat on a verdant sea with the occasional breeze swaying them in gentle waves.

As the two women reached a junction in the path, they stopped for a moment and, after a brief discussion, diverted off the main circuit and wandered along the lesser path down to a small pond where they stepped out of the shade and stood peaceably in a scrap of sunlight watching the amusing antics of the local wildlife.

When they first reached the pond, word spread rapidly amongst the feathered friends and it seemed every duck, goose and other miscellaneous fowl in the park either waddled, waded or winged its way towards them in the hope of being tossed morsels of food. However, when they realised, with great disappointment, that none was forthcoming, they gradually turned their attention elsewhere, many of them voicing their displeasure and contempt loudly as they marched off in undisguised disgust.

Now, as the women watched on, the ducks resumed their business as usual which consisted mostly of an unhurried paddle across the pond often followed by a line of curious ducklings, eager to experience the world around them but not yet daring to venture far from their parents. At regular intervals necks would bob below the surface to see what they could forage for themselves while elsewhere on the muddy edge others tucked themselves up in their own patch of sun.

Kate glanced at her watch.

"We should start heading back…. If we hurry we'll have just enough time for breakfast before Flora arrives.

Despite the quiet start to the day, things were about to become increasingly hectic for it wasn't any ordinary Saturday….today was Flora's wedding day.

Caroline clasped Kate's hand in her own, noting as she often did, the sense of pride and satisfaction it gave her to have this wonderful woman by her side – a feeling that had refused to fade over the years, on the contrary, it had continued to grow. Together they made their way towards the main track and the path home.

oooOooo

Over a breakfast of toast and tea, Kate and Caroline ran through the logistics of the morning ahead, assigning the jobs they needed to do before the wedding. The ceremony was to be held in the picturesque setting of the Valley Gardens and Flora and Sam, the happy couple, had taken on its organisation. A contingency plan had been prepared in the event of rain but, fortunately, it appeared as though it wouldn't be necessary.

Caroline and Kate had offered to hold the reception at their house and even though they had decided to pay to have it fully catered so they could relax and make the most of the event, there was still some preparation they needed to do, including clearing space for the caterers and putting any breakable objects around the house out of reach of Emily-Jane's two and four year old for there was no telling what mischief they would get into.

Last time they had visited, four year old Leah and her younger brother had disappeared unnoticed out into Caroline's garden where they were found sometime later having taken to eating the flower heads off most of her dahlias and were subsequently complaining of feeling sick. They had rushed both children up to the hospital only to be told, for all their panic, that dahlias were not harmful and the children were probably feeling ill due to the sheer quantity they had consumed. They were advised that the most effective treatment was to simply let it all pass through their system naturally. Caroline, however, had taken particular umbrage to the way the matter had been treated so flippantly, in her opinion, and the implied accusation that went with the doctor's advice that the children had possibly been neglected in being allowed to eat the flowers in the first place. She was sure she had even spied one or two of the nurses having a bit of a laugh at their expense but Emily-Jane and Kate assured her that she was being far too sensitive and with no real harm being done, other than to Caroline's garden, it actually was quite funny. With Caroline calmed and discouraged from making any formal complaint, the two children had been unceremoniously packed back in the car and taken home to allow nature to take its course.

Just as there was a lull in the conversation, Kate and Caroline heard the closing of the front door and the tell-tale echo of footsteps in the foyer which were soon followed by the appearance of their daughter, smiling-faced and bright eyed, as she joined them in the kitchen.

"Hello, sweetheart," Kate offered as Flora gave her mother a warm hug and a quick peck on the cheek. "To what do we owe the pleasure of this visit?"

Flora's mouth dropped open in stunned surprise. _How could they have forgotten that today was her wedding day and her plan to get ready here at the house? _

It was only as she went to speak and remind them of the day's significance that she noticed the mischievous grin on both faces and realised she was being teased. When would she learn?

"Sorry, love," Caroline apologised and, with her best impression of contrite, she reached out and drew her daughter into a loving embrace. "Sometimes we just can't resist…..How are you feeling? Nervous?"

"No….well, maybe a little," Flora had to confess.

"What about Sam?" Kate asked.

"No….I don't think so, although I did get this 'sweet' text message reminding me that in a little over three hours' time we'll be 'shackled together forever', to use Sam's exact words…..the last of the great romantics ….I think we're both more excited than nervous to be honest."

For years Flora's undeniable talent for playing the piano which shone from a young age and with the benefit of Kate's tutelage and then, a little later, her skill at writing her own music and accompanying lyrics, had convinced her parents that that was her most likely career path. However, as she progressed through the latter years of secondary school, it became apparent that she had a definite aptitude and passion for science. At the end of school she applied for and was accepted into Oxford University, much to Caroline's delight, to study archaeology. It was a discipline, Flora felt, which conveniently combined her love of chemistry and biology with her curiosity into history and geography.

On completing her first year of study which covered a broad range of theory and practice as well as an overview of human history, she then went on to specialise in field archaeology and it was while she had been honing her skills on an excavation site in the south-east region of England that she met Sam who was two years older than her and working towards a Doctorate.

That had been almost three and a half years ago and, after a false start where they'd had a major disagreement over the age and origin of a recently unearthed artefact but were eventually both proven wrong, they discovered they had a lot in common and hit it off marvellously. They had been virtually inseparable ever since.

Flora had most recently become fascinated with the more specialised area of forensic archaeology which allowed her to be at the cutting edge of technology while applying many of the traditional research methods and her knowledge of the past to help solve what might otherwise remain unsolved crimes. She found this particular field of study intriguing and was convinced it was where her future lay whereas Sam was more than content to continue trekking across the countryside discovering and studying relics which helped clue together the many puzzles of the past.

"When are the caterers supposed to be arriving?" Flora inquired as she went through the last few items on her mental checklist of things that needed to be done before she could relax and enjoy her special day.

Caroline looked at the clock and was caught by surprise at the amount of time they had managed to while away over breakfast.

"Oh hell! They'll be here in just over an hour and we've things still to do before then."

With that realisation, Caroline sprang in action, collecting up the used plates and mugs and rinsing them before placing them in the dishwasher and starting the cycle.

"Mum, do you mind if I put my outfit and things in your bedroom," Flora asked Kate, both of them watching on with amused awe at the whirling dervish that was Caroline as she launched an all-out assault on the kitchen in preparation for the caterers, "and then I'll come and help you if you like?"

oooOooo

It was as though the day had been specially woven for them with every thread, from the sapphire-blue of the sky with its few long stitches of wispy white to the variegated purples, yellows and reds for the gardens and the hatching of various shades of green for the leaves of the trees, all carefully chosen to create the intricate and perfect scene for the wedding of Flora and Sam.

The riff of excited chatter and laughter from amongst the guests had quietened down to an expectant buzz as the large knot of invited friends and family drew themselves in tighter when it became clear that the event that they had all come to see was about to commence.

Kate and Caroline stood front and centre in the crowd, their hands joined, their eyes watery with the mandatory tears of proud parents about to witness the marriage of their daughter, their smiles so broad that the corners of their mouths were within an unimportant distance from their ears. They were flanked on one side by Lawrence, Lily and their twins, Sarah and Oliver, as well as Emily-Jane and her two offspring who she was now raising single-handedly after the death of her partner in a farming accident. William had been unable to make it as he had already committed to appearing as keynote speaker at a conference in New York but he had phoned and sent his best wishes. On the other side were Sam's parents and younger sister.

A further hush fell as the celebrant's voice rang out, welcoming everyone on Flora and Sam's behalf and then cueing Flora with a subtle nod of her head to begin her vows. Flora turned to face Sam, her soft, brown eyes capturing those of her partner. Her voice was low and slightly tremulous as the emotion of the day suddenly caught up with her.

"I solemnly declare that I know not of any lawful impediment why I, Flora Grace McKenzie-Dawson may not be joined in matrimony to you, Samantha Louise Taylor."

The celebrant then gave Sam her prompt.

"I solemnly declare that I know not of any lawful impediment why I, Samantha Louise Taylor, may not be joined in matrimony to you, Flora Grace McKenzie-Dawson."

Caroline brushed the back of her free hand at the tears she could no longer hold back. Kate gave the hand she was holding a firm squeeze and stroked it with her thumb affectionately.

"I call upon these persons present to witness that I, Flora Grace McKenzie-Dawson, do take you, Samantha Louise Taylor, to be my lawfully-wedded wife…."

As Kate peered proudly at her daughter swathed in her wedding dress of white chiffon which hugged her slim frame until it pooled at the ground in silky ripples, elegant in its simplicity, she too felt the escape of a stray tear. Thoughts filled her mind of the number of times she had tried for a child and failed; how she had almost given up hope and then put her relationship with Caroline on the line in one final effort which, to her amazement and elation, had proven successful and then to have come within a whisker of losing her in a freak accident.

Apart from one or two short-lived phases in her early teens when Kate and Caroline would have quite cheerfully traded her in for a puppy or a goldfish, Kate considered she had been paid back a hundred fold for her persistence as her daughter was an absolute delight, a reward she sometimes marvelled at being worthy of. Despite their apprehension at having a child so late in life, Flora's arrival and subsequent years had filled their home and hearts with enormous amounts of love and happiness. Then she had introduced her partner, Sam, into their lives and they rapidly learned to love her almost as a second daughter.

Sam's laid-back, calm demeanour was the perfect counterbalance to Flora's tendency to be intense and quite serious at times and she was more than an intellectual match for the scholarly Flora. With her naturally positive disposition and easy manner, Sam had effortlessly slotted into their family but, most importantly, both Caroline and Kate had recognised the wonderful alchemy between the two women and the sheer happiness that loving Sam had brought their daughter so they had welcomed her with open arms.

The voice of the celebrant penetrated Kate's thoughts.

"Flora and Sam have given their consent and made their marriage vows to each other. They've declared their marriage by the joining of hands and the giving and receiving of rings. I now pronounce you spouses for life….Congratulations."

As the two women kissed for the first time officially as spouses, a rousing round of applause went up as well as some boisterous cheering.

Following the obligatory photo shoot with family members, Kate and Caroline quickly exited in order to make it home in time to greet arriving guests.

oooOooo

Standing on the top step to the kitchen, overlooking the room where the guests milled, helping themselves to food and drink, Lawrence tapped a silver spoon tentatively against the side of his wine glass in the accepted manner in order to capture everyone's attention and propose a toast.

When Flora had first been born and entered his life he had to admit, in hindsight, to being very unaccepting of her, confused even, as to the purpose of her other than to make his life miserable with what seemed like interminable crying and a constant demand to be fed or changed. The whole situation of his mother marrying again and marrying a woman with a baby no less, had disgruntled him to the point where he had decided he would be better off living with his father which, if he was being honest, hadn't proved to be the walk in the park he had envisaged it would be.

However, with patient guidance and enlightenment from his girlfriend at the time, Lily, he had been able to slowly peel back his prejudices and the petty teenage jealousy of having a younger and undeniably adorable sibling as a rival for attention and eventually grew to accept her as family…as his sister. Before long, he found himself as much enamoured with her as Kate and his mother. Seeing his mother so content and, as maturity brought him sense and understanding, he couldn't fault Kate so he also found a place in his heart for her.

Experiencing the emotional roller coaster of love himself was like giving sight to the blind. Suddenly he was able to see and recognise the fact that you didn't choose the person you fell in love with or how hard you fell. It was simply something that happened regardless of any amount of logic and reasoning to the contrary and Lawrence had fallen hard for Lily. To this day, he described her as his first and only true love.

After almost two blissful years together, Lily had surprised Lawrence by announcing that she was planning to travel abroad for at least a year and it was probably best that they go their separate ways. It was a bitter blow and he would have given anything not to experience the pain she caused his besotted heart but try as he might, he couldn't shake his feelings for her.

In the time Lily was away they had kept in touch intermittently via the occasional email and the inevitable social media, each new contact stoking the fire of his affections but, with no other choice, he had reluctantly agreed when Lily suggested he should make an effort to see other people. Over the ensuing months he had gone through the motions of dating a number of other women but all it achieved was to affirm to him that his affections were firmly fastened to Lily.

On her eventual return, Lily had tentatively agreed to meet up again with Lawrence but strictly as friends, however, it soon became obvious to both of them, as emotions that had been suppressed flared up again, that they were destined to be together.

Lawrence remembered at the time harking back to when his mother had tried, with a great deal of difficulty and limited success, to explain to him, a churlish teenager, why Kate was the one person she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. On reuniting with Lily, Lawrence had immediately and for the first time, fully appreciated what it was his mother had been saying. He also realised that there were no actual words to express that sense of inevitability and that as surely as day follows night, you had to be with that one person.

In no doubt that Lily was the only person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, he had proposed and she had accepted. Just over a month later they had married in the local Register Office, much to the disappointment of Lily's father, Sandon, who had always looked forward to organising a huge, ostentatious affair for his only daughter's wedding but he had been forced to concede that the most important factor was that his daughter was happy. Lily and Lawrence's twins were conceived virtually on their wedding night.

Lawrence cleared his throat loudly and called out above the noisy hum of conversation, "If I could have everyone's attention…."

He waited for silence to fall over the room. When all eyes were upon him he smiled towards the newlyweds and raised his glass.

"I would like to take this opportunity to wish my fabulous sister, Flora, and her equally fabulous partner…wife…. Sam, all the happiness in the world and a wonderful future together…..To Flora and Sam."

The sentiment echoed around the room as the guests also raised their glasses and their voices in the toast.

"To Flora and Sam."

His actions and words earned him an appreciative hug from his sister and sister-in-law as well as his mother and Kate.

Despite having the reception fully-catered with the intention of leaving the worry and organisation to others, Caroline couldn't resist sticking her nose into the kitchen every now and again to assure herself that everything was under control and being taken care of.

It was as she was popping in on one of these visits that she spied a male figure making his way very unsteadily towards her study. At first, she hadn't a clue who it was, however, the stagger had a naggingly familiar sway about it.

_"Oh, surely not!" she muttered, "not today!"_

She dashed down the hallway after him and, as she suspected, found the unwelcome figure of her ex-husband, John, sprawled in her office chair. From his shabby appearance, the glazed look in his red-rimmed, rheumy eyes and the distinct reek of alcohol from his body, Caroline could only assume that, even though it was only early afternoon, John had been on a bit of a bender. Nothing ever changed with John.

A clearly-irritated Caroline leaned against the door jamb, her arms folded across her chest and a patent scowl on her face as she looked on in annoyance at the pathetic figure before her. His timing, as always, was impeccable.

John struggled for several seconds to bring the blurred image into some sort of focus and then greeted her with an overly-jovial, "Caroline."

"John," she snapped back coldly. "What are you doing here?"

Sensing the chill in the air, he reined in his cheeriness and asked politely, "Have I come at a bad time?"

"How many times have we told you not to just turn up like this? You need to leave."

"It looks like you're having a party…Couldn't I stay for a while? I promise I'll be on my best behaviour," he pleaded, disregarding Caroline's obvious anger at his presence as only John could.

Then, in desperation, he played the 'father' card.

"I thought I saw Lawrence and Lily and the twins out there…..Couldn't I just say 'hello' and then leave?'

Unfortunately for John, Lawrence and his family had very little to do with him these days. John had caused them angst on any number of occasions over the years but their patience with him had finally run out when he carelessly torched their new car several months ago. Caroline knew this and so promptly ignored his plea.

"It's Flora and Samantha's wedding reception and you're not going to spoil it. You're going to leave…now!"

"More bloody lesbians," he muttered under his breath.

"Pardon!" Caroline challenged him, catching the gist of what was said rather than the actual words.

"Nothing…nothing," he mumbled before continuing more audibly, "Listen, you've got to let me stay. I need company. Gemma's left me…for good this time…for another woman. What is it about me that turns women into lesbians?"

Caroline couldn't contain her smirk as she bit back on the many caustic barbs she could have fired his way.

"You don't just turn a woman into a lesbian, John, so don't flatter yourself….it's not all about you."

"Are you sure because that's three…four, counting you….women that I've been with who are now dy…lesbians?"

"You've probably dated more than a hundred woman over the years, John. Odds are some of them are going to realise they're lesbians although I'm sure you helped them decide. You need to grow up….you're too old for this nonsense."

"Old? I'm not old!"

"You're 71!"

"What's your point?" he asked petulantly, his words beginning to slur.

Caroline let out an exasperated puff of air from her cheeks.

"My point is you really need to leave."

"No, what I need is a drink. What do you have out there?"

John attempted to rise from the chair in order to get himself a drink but a fast-moving Caroline blocked his path and a firm shove saw him land back in the chair.

"Stay here," she instructed, "I'm going to call you a taxi."

"Make up your mind….first you want me to leave, now you want me to stay….stupid cow."

"I'm going to call you a taxi and then you're going to leave," she explained impatiently, not rising to the insult.

"Is Gillian here?" he asked, once again attempting to stand and once again finding himself forced back into the seat.

"If you so much as make a move from that chair before the taxi arrives I will break both your kneecaps and then call the police and have you arrested for trespassing. Do you understand?"

The words were spoken with such vehemence so as to leave John in no doubt that she meant every one of them.

His reply was muttered and probably an insult but Caroline wasn't really interested as she busied herself calling a taxi and hoping it wouldn't take too long to arrive.

"Ah! There you are," came the voice of Kate from the doorway. "I wondered where you'd gone to. What are you do…"

Her question trailed off as she caught sight of John in all his crumpled glory slumped in the chair.

"What's he doing here?" she asked less amicably.

"He was looking for a shoulder to cry on but there's none here so he's about to leave just as soon as the taxi arrives," Caroline said, her irritation with her errant ex quite plain.

"Is he alright? He smells…seems very drunk."

"He'll be fine, won't you, John?"

"I won't be fine…..I…. feel….. awful…The room won't stop spinning."

With those words, John doubled over as if he was about to retch.

Kate immediately reached for the wastepaper basket which she stuck beside him for his use but, thankfully, nothing came of all his dramatics.

"I think I might have had too much to drink."

"No shit, Sherlock…..Now stand up."

"I am standing up….aren't I?"

Caroline could do nothing but roll her eyes, appalled at the inebriated state of the man and the fact that she had once seen fit to marry him even if it was another lifetime ago."

"Kate, can you help me walk him to the front steps. He can wait there. The taxi should be here any minute."

With Kate on one side and Caroline on the other, each with a hand on an elbow and another under his arm, they heaved John's flaccid body to its feet and guided him as inconspicuously as was possible and none-too-carefully to the entrance. There they propped him against the wall like a redundant piece of furniture while Caroline opened the door.

"I've made such a mess of things, haven't I…my whole life," John bemoaned as Kate struggled to prevent him from tipping over.

"Yes, you have. Now try and stand up and move towards the door." Caroline's quota of sympathy for him had long since run out.

Together Kate and Caroline manoeuvred him onto the front steps. Fortunately, as Caroline had predicted, it was only one or two minutes before the taxi arrived and they were finally rid of their uninvited guest.

Dusting off their hands in the sign of a job completed, the two women went back inside and re-joined the celebrations.

In dribs and drabs throughout the afternoon, family and friends gradually departed, thanking Kate and Caroline for their hospitality and once again wishing Flora and Sam all the best for the future, as they did. By late afternoon the house had resettled to its usual peacefulness with only Kate and Caroline and Flora and Sam to occupy it.

While Sam went upstairs to finish some last minute packing and Kate was napping on the sofa, Caroline and Flora sat chatting in the kitchen.

"Would you like a cup of tea before you leave?" Caroline asked as she set the jug to boil and located the teapot and mugs. "Oh. We're all out of milk."

"I'll drive down and buy some, if you like. It won't take long," Flora offered.

"Only if you want to otherwise I'll buy some later. You can take the new Jeep."

Flora lifted the keys off the hook and with an "I'll be back shortly" headed out of the kitchen bumping headlong into Kate on her way to the front door.

"Where are you off to at such a furious pace?" Kate asked.

"Mum's making a pot of tea and we're out of milk …I was going to make a run to the shop."

"There's condensed milk in the pantry. That will do for now, won't it? Stay."

Kate wrapped her arms loosely around her daughter and gave her a brief kiss on the cheek before they both headed back into the kitchen to join Caroline for that cup of tea.

As Flora stashed the last of their luggage in boot of the hire car, there was a final round of hugs and the holding off of tears before they too were on their way.

Caroline and Kate stalled on the bottom step to give them a last wave and to watch as the car reversed down the driveway.

As it turned out onto the street, Kate said, "The house is going to feel very large and empty now with everyone more or less gone."

Caroline closed her eyes for a moment, picturing the house over her life time. There had rarely been a time when it hadn't echoed with the sound of at least one or two offspring of various ages – babies, adolescents, teenagers, grandchildren. Now there was only Kate and herself left to rattle around within its walls.

"They'll soon return, sweeping in like the inevitable tide and then steadily drifting off again."

"That's very eloquent of you," Kate smiled.

Being a balmy summer evening, a rare occurrence in this part of England, the two women lingered on the step a while longer, soaking in the warmth. Caroline moved in closer and put a proprietary arm around her wife.

"What are we going to do with ourselves in the meantime?" Kate asked.

"Oh, I don't know," Caroline replied, letting her arm drop and holding Kate's hand instead as they turned to head inside. "Do you fancy a fortnight in the Bananas?"

oooOooo

_Epilogue_

"I'm sorry to have kept you waiting so long," Kate whispered into Caroline's ear as their lips finally parted and their tight embrace loosened just a fraction.

"It's fine," Caroline whispered back, her voice husky with emotion. "You know I'd never expect you to leave before your time."

"Yes, I do know that." Kate choked back the tears brought on by memories of the utter sadness she'd so recently left behind and the sheer joy that she was now experiencing. "I've missed you so much. I thought about you every single day….every single hour. Some days, even though I knew you were gone, I would talk to you…I even imagined, at times, that I could feel your presence…..see you. I was convinced I was going mad with grief."

Caroline drew her in close again, smiled knowingly but said nothing as she reacquainted herself with her wife's soft lips…warm mouth…enticing tongue.

Reluctantly Kate eventually pulled away ever so slightly and gave Caroline a puzzled frown as a thought suddenly struck her.

"If I'm here and you're here, does that mean that everyone else is here too? My mum? Celia? Alan?"

Caroline nodded distractedly, more interested in the woman who was before her than anyone else.

"Gillian? John?" Kate continued more dubiously.

"Gillian's around but I have to admit that I haven't laid eyes on John in the …..How long have I been here?"

"Three years and two months."

"Really? That long? Time doesn't mean much here."

"You don't think John has gone to…..elsewhere, do you?"

"Well, if my mother made it here I tend to think John did too….he was a self-centred jerk but essentially harmless…he's probably in a very big jar somewhere with the label 'Pickled' on it," Caroline laughed.

A bold grin crept across Kate's face.

"So this quite soundly disproves your long-held theory that when we are buried we simply rot into the soil, wouldn't you agree?"

Caroline's blue gaze travelled over Kate's lovely face that she cupped tenderly in her hands.

"It would seem that way," Caroline admitted as their mouths moved close enough that each could feel the smile form on the other's lips. "Apparently and most wonderfully, it appears that there actually is a Forever and I am incredibly fortunate in that I get to spend it with you."

oooOooo

**_A/N: And so ends another story, my last. I can't see me writing any more LTiH fanfiction although, if I've learned anything in life it's never say never. However, at this stage it is not my intention to begin another LTiH story so I would like to take this opportunity to thank all my readers and particularly those of you who have written such kind and generous words of encouragement. It has been a most exciting and humbling experience to know that there are people out there from all over the world who read and enjoy my stories. Thank you so very much._**

**_The original intent of this story was to ease some of my own pain and hopefully that of others following the devastating events of series 3. I feel I have succeeded to some degree but my heart still aches at the loss of such a wonderful couple who could have potentially done so much to lessen the prejudice lesbian couples face. Although I don't think I will ever be able to forgive Sally Wainwright for what she did to Kate and Caroline, I have to say that I will be eternally grateful to the woman for inspiring me to pick up my pencil and discover the joy and satisfaction of writing. Cheers!_**


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